Photo #38: Big Big Birdie

This awesome birdie attacked me when I was in London (where Wimbledon is). I was very upset but not as upset as the birdie when I attacked it right back with my trusted morakniv! No! No way I did something like that! Just kidding! But seriously, somebody must have carved its beak or something. Makes it look a little bit more like Maria Sharapova or Michelle Wie if you ask me. (Go ahead! Ask me! Ask me anything!) If you want the truth about my encounter with the big big birdie....? Ok. It saw me, took a few steps in my direction and I got scared and walked away. You would have done the same. That much I can promise. It was scary! Scary like a shark attack!!! London is a battlefield, scientology sucks and this is really just a poor attempt to do some zeitgeist blogging.

Superblog!! Site of the Day

You know we sometimes like to kid around here on Superblog!! But today I want to ask you to sit still for a few seconds and listen to the sad but sweet story behind Brad & Karen's Adoption Webpage. You see, Brad and Karen were high school sweethearts who married after college and had two wonderful boys. Unfortunately:

Karen had a very difficult second pregnancy, and as a result, we are unable to have anymore biological children. We have always dreamed of having lots of children, so we have turned to adoption to realize that dream. We believe that there is a baby who God intends to be a part of our family.

And perhaps YOU, dear Superblog!! visitor, has given birth to that baby? If so, go to Brad & Karen's Adoption Webpage today! If this results in a transaction, we ask that you please donate a percentage of your profits to Superblog!!, so we can continue to provide this free service.

Photo #37: Lots of DVD:s but no Porn at All !!! What's Wrong with Me???

Here's a tiny fraction of my DVD collection as it looked a year ago. Today there are like many many more. You should especially take a look at the masterpiece titled X-Large (Could have been a porno but no, just a movie about an elephant). I got it from Koala and he got Superman - da Movie from me. That was the worst deal I've ever made. Well, maybe getting addicted to heroin was worse but I'm not sure. Not sure at all.

Smoking a cannabis joint is as relaxing as drinking a glass of wine, while many people find taking ecstasy the most pleasurable experience of their lives. Injecting a modest dose of heroin can make mundane but essential household chores enjoyable, drug users say on Chemical Britannia.

I am You As You are Me and We are All Together

It's my birthday, morons. Sing for me.

Roland Cedermark - He Wants your Soul but you shouldn't Let him Have It.

Superblog!! proudly presents: Roland Cedermark, constant winner of the Sweden's ugliest Christian musician trophy since 1989. Consider yourself warned for what might happen if you're an old alcoholic who decides to let Jebus into your life.... You'll turn into some kind of a hippie with scary eyes and everybody will hate you. Except for the Jebus crowd, but who cares what they think.

Another Elvis enthusiast: Roland Cedermark has devoted several of his albums to The King. My musician friends tell me he's a god on the accordion, but I just can't make myself appreciate his genius.
I once bought my sister one of his CDs for Christmas, and have suffered ever since.

Photo #36: Copacabana

Duh.... I meant to say something about that vehicle. But I'm too stupid to even remember what it's called and I'm too lazy to check it up. You see, in Sweden we have summer now and that means running around in bushes and doing stuff that interfers badly with your blogging. I guess it's worth it since our summer in Sweden only lasts for about two weeks. Yes, and if you have the time and money I could recommend you to go to Rio because Rio is fun.

KoalaCam: A Plate Full of Heartache

This is dessert I had on one of Superblog!!'s many travels to Åland on the Ship of Death. To wash it down, I had beer and red wine and white wine, and later some liqueur and a few drinks. And of course more beer. Much more. Now you know.

It's a Rooster, Stupid!

Other than photos, it's been some time since I put up an "artistic" creation of my own on Superblog!! So here's something I scanned. For raw material, I used a CD (which I broke on purpose) and a shadowy hand (which I was born with). I think you'll all agree it's a masterpiece, and open to a great many interpretations.

Previous entries in this series have included a half-eaten mint chocolate and a mystery scan. Future entries may include broken hearts and crushed genitals.

Photo #35: Air Electro Shuffle Board Hockey

Suckers ! That's six for us and five for you !! In your face! Don't disturb us now, we're sacrificing goats. No. Actually we're celebrating Midsummer's Eve. By sacrificing goats. Just kidding! In reality, we're not doing anything bad, we're just sacrificing goats.

Sammy und Koala, proprietors of Superblog!!

Yo Bitches, Have You Noticed Our New Search Engine?

Well, have you? It's just over to the left, and it's been live since yesterday. But I thought I'd better point it out in a blog entry, because our studies show that Superblog!! fans aren't a very observant lot.

In fact, the average Superblog!! fan seems to be a highly sexually active teenage girl with an IQ of 78 and hideous facial scars. She enjoys gardening and accepts Jebus Christ as her personal savior. We also get a lot of visitors in the "80-89" age bracket, presumably because we blog a lot about World War I and adult diapers. Nah, I'm just making shit up.

Hey googlers! Here's a delicate question for you: Did you get here because you searched for "sexy retarded girls"? If so, do you promise to return once you've completed your quest?

Superblog!! - Not Just For Frustrated Porn Googlers Anymore

Photo #34: Who's your Daddy Nekobasu?

You asked for it Moocko.

Photo #33: Blurry Blur

This is what usually happens when we are out drinking beer to celebrate the success of Superblog!! Things get a little blurry and Koala isn't exactly a master photographer as you can see. Well, a little bit arty perhaps? We all have different skills. I'm good at watching movies and I have frickin great skills when it comes to handling my octagon ball bearing nunchakus!
If you are interested in purchasing your own nunchucks try these!

Combination Minichuck/JumpropeBlack foam handles are the key accessory here. The ball bearing swivel joints change make switching easy from an 8 in. minichuck with chain to a nylon corded jumprope in seconds. $12.95

That's very clever! First you let other people believe that you are just a sissy with a jumprope and then in seconds you turn into a raving maniac and beat the shit out of them!

Should Evil Comics Live or Die?

I received this image from a disgruntled fan. Really. I shit you not. Moocko the Chapman is so desperate to influence the direction of Superblog!! that he's actually started creating banners and stuff to launch some kind of campaign! The "Evil Comics" he's talking about are these. I used to take a preexisting cover or a strip and change the dialogue to something stupid. Then I grew tired and stopped.

But perhaps it's time to revive the feature and continue the dramatic tale of Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking? What do you say, Superblog!! fans? Your reaction can make or break the Evil Comics!

... by which I mean, if you seem too eager, I probably won't do it, just to spite you. But if you don't give a shit... well.

Superblog!! - We Just Don't Listen. Except Sometimes We Do, So You Can't Win

Photo #32: King of Karaoke

On the ship of death they had Karaoke !!!!! When I saw that some artist was called Uncle Sam I thought that was extremely funny because I was fucking wasted. Today it's not funny at all! Ha ha ha !!!!

Haven't We Seen This Pic Before?

Let's explore this Spider-Man cover further. At first I was just going to update the old Superblog!! post, but then I decided to repost it because the only ones who read old posts are stupid googlers. (You're not a stupid googler, are you?)

Anyway. What's under discussion is the cover to Marvel Knights Spider-Man #5, by Mark Millar and Frank Cho. In the comments below the original entry, Superblog!! fan "Spidercrazy" basically asked, "What's so gay about this image?"

Well:

1. The image is dominated by a large phallic symbol a.k.a. penis.
2. Said penis is yielded by DR COCKTOPUS a.k.a. DOC COC.
3. Spider-Man follows the penis (get it?)...
4. ...thereby turning away from (i.e. rejecting) the woman on the ground.
5. As if that wasn't clear enough in itself, the woman is actually displaying her ass in a submissive way, signaling her readiness to be nailed by Spider-Man. See? She knows Spider-Man prefers sodomy to vaginal sex, and is willing to meet him halfway. But is that good enough for Spider-Man? Nooo.

Other interpretations of the image are possible, but they all come down to gayness. Spider-Man's gay, readers of this comic are gay, and so are you.

Photo #31: The Evil Moon

Yes, I'm back from Dalarna. I did many fascinating things. For example: I met a cat. I ate food. I drank beer. I made a fire and I was one of two guys naked in a hot tub.

At the party upstairs, Mr. Mackey gives the Broflovskis and Marshes a tour of his home and leads them out to the hot tub, which was installed just recently. The wives leave Randy and Gerald outside and they declare the present evening to be a night of experimenting. The two talk about threesomes and soon enter the hot tub and self pleasure each other. This leads to awkwardness after Randy questions his sexuality.

Since Superblog!! remains a G-rated family blog I think I must add that the hot tub was awesome in size (just like our penises) and except for Carlsberg there wasn't much self pleasure. Still, we had a good time and I thought of trying to capture it with my splendid Konica Minolta Z5 but decided to go for the moon instead.

An Unpleasant Surprise

Catwoman #45 will be available at your local comics shop on July 28th. Reserve your copy today. And then you can get together with a friend to imitate your superhero idols Batman and Catwoman. But remember:

Anal sex does carry some risks to health and comfort even in the absence of STDs. For example, while the vagina secretes its own lubrication, the anus and rectum do not. The tissues in the rectal area are particularly delicate and susceptible to tearing [...] In addition, since the rectal tissues are so easily damaged, and since the anorectal muscles are largely under involuntary control, slow, gentle, and responsive insertion is necessary to avoid pain and tearing.

This is the third post in an increasingly dull and uninspired series, caused by disease and betrayal.

The Amazing Spider-Man vs Sigmund Freud!

Attention parents and legal guardians! If your little boy brings home this comic book, Superblog!! recommends that you sit him down to a frank and open discussion about sexuality. Recent studies suggest that homosexual tendencies can be cured if discovered in time!
I guess this is number two in a series.

Healthiness Will Tear Us Apart

I have some extremely bad news. My traumatic brush with DISFIGUREMENT lasted just one week. Once more, I'm free to engage in kissing and oral sex with strangers of all genders (I prefer chicks, but at this point I'm not picky). Not only that, but I can laugh at other unfortunate HSV-1 sufferers again.

How is this bad news? Well, it means that the remaining installments of the very popular "Coping with HSV-1" article series have been cancelled. I guess I could still write about it because even though I may currently be symptomless, I CARRY THE VIRUS. But I don't feel that inspired.

And this cold is still slowly killing me. And Sammy is in the Dales on drug-related business. So I guess Superblog!! will continute to suck for a few more days.

Just lie back and think of England.

To Dalarna and Beyond

Greetings healthy people and Koala. The mighty picture sharing program Hello is sick (coughs about network connections and things) too so there can be no photo blogging tonight. But next week I'll show you my new exciting ice cream wrappings pictures! Tomorrow I am very much going to Dalarna. That's like Montana (but in Sweden). People talk and act strange and they are very good at making their own booze. If I see a computer I will blog (or surf for porn).

The province and county of Dalarna (which was called Kopparberg county until 31 December 1996) coincide geographically, with a few exceptions.

The south and the north meet in Dalarna. The southern portion of the county holds the Bergslagen area, with its mines and plains abundant with farming communities. Lake Siljan is steeped in flowering meadows and overlooked by distant blue mountains. The northern territory is Sweden's southernmost mountain landscape. And everything is embraced by the mighty Dalälven river.

Sickityfuck, Fuckitysick

Brain not functioning properly on account of illness. Me blog anyway. Grievances: You know how many get-well-soon wishes I've received from Superblog!! fans these past few days? That's right, ZERO. Christ, if I didn't hate most of you people before, I sure would now.

I came this close to placing a virus in the blog template, just to fucking fuck with you. What stopped me was, firstly, I'm not enough of a nerd to know exactly how to go about doing that. Secondly...? I'm fucking sick, you piece of fucking fucks!! Why aren't you paying attention?!

Had a dream last night. One of those that seem to go on for hours and hours, or days even. It took place aboard a huge cruise ship, and I still remember plenty of details. I imagine that it I told them to you, you'd be able to sketch a fairly accurate psychological portrait of me.

But I won't, because that would be creepy.

Photo #31: Horseman of the Apocalypse

Most likely it's a king on a pony outside the old town in Stockholm. I don't know and I have no time for blogging because I have to read a book.

Hulk Fuck!

That's all I have to say.

Sick Boy Sick 4 Real

It seems my recent bout with HSV-1 was just the beginning. For the second time in Superblog!! history, I'm sick as as a cocker spaniel. (Don't bother with that middle link, it's in Swenglish and you won't understand anything. Did you know Superblog!! was mainly written in Swedish for like a month, before we realized that meant we could only reach 25-30% of the world? Well, it was.) So yeah, I'm sick. 4 real. A deadly cold. Jebus help me.

Photo #30: Pro- or Anti-Gay License Plate?

Today I decided I should spend some time on fact checking so I read all our posts twice. Here are the results: Superblog!! contains zero mistakes! Just as I suspected. Anyhow, after that demanding task I decided to take a drive and thus I realised that the Swedish department of the banning of license plates obviously made a mistake. Take a look at that license plate and then you better take a look at this.

FAG is not on the list of the banned letter combinations !!! How is that possible and what does the morons over at Westboro Baptist Church have to say about that?

We use the word "fag" as a contraction of the word "faggot" or "fagot." A "fag" is a firebrand. A "fag" is used for kindling - it fuels fire. "Fag" is a metaphor used in the Bible, for example, in Amos 4:11 (where it is translated "firebrand" in the KJV). Just as a "fag" fuels the fires of nature, so does a sodomite fuel the fires of God's wrath. We do not use the word "fag" in order to engage in childish name-calling. Rather, we use it because it is a metaphor chosen by the Holy Ghost to describe a group of people who BURN in their lust one toward another, and who FUEL God's wrath.

Bullshit! Burning in lust is what life is all about even if I admit that fueling God's wrath also sounds like fun...

Coping with HSV-1

A few days ago I discovered to my horror and confusion that I suffer from
Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1. My first reaction upon getting the news was, I admit, to try and kill myself. I realized that my life as I knew it had changed irrevocably, and that the chances of ever leading anything resembling a "normal" life were slim to nil. It seemed easier to just end it all.

But that would be the coward's way out. And I'm no coward! I'm determined to make a go of it, to try to put together the pieces of my broken life. And as part of the healing process, I want to write a little about my experiences as an HSV-1 patient. Apart from it's therapeutic value, I hope that it might also help other young people facing this grim challenge. As an added bonus, it might further understanding of the disease among those of you who have been lucky enough to remain healthy.

So for the next six or seven weeks, Superblog!! will present a series of articles and essays on the subject. We'll start tomorrow with "What the Government Doesn't Want You to Know about HSV-1". Hope to see you then!

Photo #29: Friggin' Fish Balls

This is Koala counting fish balls on the Ålandsfärja.

Flesh of white fish such as cod or haddock added to a mixture of milk, fish broth, flour or other binding ingredients and seasoning, made into balls and cooked. Mrketed as semi-preserved, canned or frozen.

Mmmmm....balls...
When I researched this post I learned that fish balls are called Fischkloss in Germany and Fiskibollur in Iceland. If i can spare the time I'll also try to learn all the 291 Common Names of Gadus morhua.

Photo #28: The Ship of Death

I vaguely remember that I promised something about posting more photos from the (now legendary) cruise to Åland. Let's start with Cinderella! This magnific ship (of death) weighs 46 398 metric tons and that is like many millions of pounds. 102290073.64320919 to be exact...

Superblog!! - The place to come when you need to know about things.

20,000 Leagues Under the Weather

Seeing as how we marked the occasion of 10,000, 15,000, and even 16,000 hits, I should probably mention that Superblog!! broke the 20k mark sometime when we were out drinking last night. As we planned it.

I'm a bit more hung-over than usual today, so pardon me while I go explore my interiors.

(Just kidding, I'm not the type to puke and tell.)

Pic plucked here. (And I reiterate my previous complaints - how come Superblog!! gets so little fan-created art and stuff? Don't you care? I hate you. Why don't you love me?)

Drink is the Last Refuge of the Fuckup

As you may have heard, tonight we'll try to make up for disappointing you all (especially my Internet fiancee Sara) last week. I don't have anything I particularly want to write about today, so I thought I'd share this image, which details a planned pub route through downtown Linköping. I don't think we'll hit all these places tonight (liqour is expensive in Sweden) but there was a time when we did. It's possible that we'll still start off at Cosmic, for the simple reason that it has an electronic shuffleboard game. (I'm the reigning Champion!!) (To even things out, I completely suck at pool.) But I find it implausible that we'd end the fun at Hamlet, because that is a very depressing place, filled with aging, alcoholic members of the working class. We call them arbetarjävlar. Then again, the beer's cheapish, and when you're drunk you make poor decisions, so you never know.

(Among the other pubs listed are Nationernas Hus, Bar & Kök, Blue Ribbon, and O'Learys. Most of them suck, for various reasons. Though if anyone representing one of those pubs is reading this, for the right price I'd be happy to state on Superblog!! that YOUR pub is the exception. Remember, we get a lot of readers and they trust our recommendations.)

Jabba's presence on the pic looks like there might be some kind of connection with Star Wars, but really, I made this montage several years ago. Before anyone had even heard of Star Wars.

Well, whaddayaknow? I wrote a nice little blog entry after all. I'm wonderful.

Superblog!! - Bloggen som går ut och super

Photo #27: Drunk Monkey

Tonight we will drink ourselves back to what we Swedes usually refer to as apstadiet. That would be the ape stage if I had used the so called English language..
I thought of calling this photo "the Superblog!! fan" but for unknown reasons I changed my mind. Some of you are like....OK, I guess, but some of you are like greedy monkeys, sitting on your asses waiting for fried bananas and interesting posts. In case I have the energy to post anything tomorrow it will include pictures from our drunken adventures among the Swedish proletariat.

KoalaCam #3: I Knew Don Skvirello Before He Was Famous

See! I caught the Don on photo before Uncle! September 3rd, at 7:55 PM, to be sort of exact. For those who came late, and are too lazy to click on the link, we're talking DON SKVIRELLO, HIGHLORD OF ILLUSION & TERROR. Also known as the Squirrel from Hell. Next to the Don you see his pal Kompis, who is less evil.

Superblog!! Question of the Day: Just how fucking ugly is Brian Dennehy on a scale of 1 to 1000, where 1000 is "pretty ugly"? Answer with your full name and VISA number, for your chance to win an all-expenses-paid weekend in Sölvesborg.

Yes, Superblog!! is feeling more uninspired than average today, why do you ask?

Sammy, Sammy, Who the Fuck is Sammy?

Time for some lazy blogging. Visit Googlism and learn stuff about stuff.

uncle sammy is sticking with the ancient - Yes
uncle sammy is dressed in a patriotic outfit - Yes
uncle sammy is her great uncle - I'm not
uncle sammy is 49 years old - No, I'm much older
uncle sammy is tom arey - No
uncle sammy is one of the most exciting up and coming bands - I will be.
uncle sammy is one lucky old man - YES
uncle sammy is much more than you expected - Yes !
uncle sammy is repeatedly said to be “in deep doo doo” - Sometimes
uncle sammy is telling us the truth - Always !
uncle sammy is as hot as a poker - That's what they say
uncle sammy is the shiz - Huh?
uncle sammy is looking for a few good woodworkers - Apply now!
uncle sammy is supposed to look after all that for us - Yes (relax)
uncle sammy is going to make damn sure you never find out - Yes
uncle sammy is hurting so much - Yes
uncle sammy is in ucla - Fuck no! I'm in Liu.
uncle sammy is gonna drop it off at your doorstep - And it will burn
uncle sammy is equally comfortable in the college setting - Sure am
uncle sammy is gay - I'm part gay, like all men.

Burn in Hell!

This is 150 pounds of burning potato chips. Makes a good fire because they are so fat. FAT FAT FAT !!!
Everything is explained in the Swedish Pravda and I guess this is in some weird way connected to the mysterious satanic chips.

Stiller, Coogan Revive Snobbar som jobbar

Incredible:

US film star Ben Stiller and British comic Steve Coogan will bring The Persuaders to the big screen more than 30 years after the hit television series debuted, the industry press said on Tuesday.

Stiller and Coogan have signed on to play the playboy adventurers originally incarnated by Tony Curtis and Roger Moore in the British series first broadcast in 1971, Daily Variety said.

Amazing:

According to The Hollywood Reporter, writer Grant Morrison is in negotiations to adapt his We3 comic book into a feature film for New Line Cinema.

We3 was a three-issue limited series written by Morrison and drawn by Frank Quitely. It revolved around three pets -- a dog, a cat and a bunny -- kidnapped from their homes by the government and hard-wired into military battle suits, turning into robo-assassins.

Excellent:

My penis size is average when erect but very small when flaccid. Is this normal?

Yes, it is normal. Many men are quite small when flaccid but average, or bigger, when erect. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help the many men who suffer from embarrassment in the locker room! Some men report stimulating their penis to a semi-erect state before getting changed or showering just to avoid exposing their small flaccid state to other men!

Princess Madeleine of Sweden is Kind of Hot

But, they tell me, she's also a bitch. You know all that money that was supposed to go to tsunami victims? She took it all and went out and bought a diamond panda. A diamond panda!! What the fuck are you supposed to do with one of those?

Here's a tasteful website, created by a (female) fan. You can send fanmail (or poo!) to Madde, as we Swedes call her, via this address:

HRH Princess Madeleine (HKH Prinsessan Madeleine)
Stockholm Slott
111 30 Stockholm
Sweden

But what I really wanted to tell you about is this:

King Carl Gustaf of Sweden [we just call him Kungen] had enough and removed the pictures of his daughter Madeleine in the low-cut red dress from a Swedish website. The King of Sweden saw red when the website svenskaflickor.se published pictures from the Nobel gala in 2002 where Princess Madeleine was wearing a very low-cut dress [...] Over the picture, the website wrote «So cute, oh so horny.» [...] It’s ironic that it is we, the tax payers, which provide the family with Sweden’s largest social security check, money which is paying for your lawyers. It is well known that the daddy in the family is no intelligent giant.

That's a bit unfair, though. Not everyone can be an intelligent giant.

Photo #27: Postponed

I decided that I shouldn't publish any photo tonight. Partly because I just didn't feel like it (yawn) and partly because I thought that I needed a break. Ahhh.....this feels great. I love living life on the edge like this, no responsibilities and no nothing.
The problem is that Koala will start to bitch about things if I'm getting too laid-back (He's very fucking pushy indeed) so here's my idea: You leave a comment where you suggest something you want me to take a photo of and maybe maybe that will be exactly what I do! In the best of worlds I get lots of good suggestions on what to photograph; for instance ice-creams (preferably Nogger Black), a medal, straws, politicians in red, vomits, frogs, Swedish nazis.... You get the idea? But since we live in a stinking normal dreary world I suspect that there will be zero, nought , nada....and in that case....well life goes on(?), and I'll just get back to publishing my everyday masterpieces of what I decide by myself. You know what?! I already hate you for not making my life easier!! Fuckers....

Satanic Chips

This potato chip was found by a spidercrazy friend of Superblog!! yesterday. He was very disturbed by the discovery and requested that it be the subject of a Superblog!! post, in order to warn the world.

You can't blame him for worrying, since this is clearly a manifestation of... SATAN. (The spidercrazy person in question - who asked to remain anonymous, because he fears retaliation from the forces of Darkness - thought it might be Death, or "Storpotäten" [The Grand Potato], Sweden's version of the Bogeyman, but then, he's not a trained expert like I am. Boy, that was a long sentence. Not Guinness Book of Records long, but longer than what could comfortably fit in a Christmas Stocking.)

And who is Satan? Why, he's a hockey player. First name Miroslav. Mr Satan shares a birthday with figure skater Brian Boitano, immortalized in the South Park movie, which also features... SATAN! Spooky, huh?

In other news, Superblog!! rules!

Sammy's Bumpy Ride

Our quest for global domination continues. For a hefty fee we allowed Diane Wright Landolf to adopt our aliases and create the adorable characters Sammy the echidna and Koala..one of the..Koala Brothers. If anything ever was a recommended reading, this is it!

Sammy the echidna has discovered an unfinished train track in the middle of the outback. He has always wanted to go on a train ride. It’s up to Frank and Buster to help Sammy finish building the track and then they can all take a bumpy ride! This simple, Step 1 book will introduce beginning readers to the Koala Brothers and what it means to help others.

Photo #26: Nekobasu on Midsummer Pole

So..what do you do when you have no inspiration? You recycle! Today my dear Nekobasu checks out a Swedish midsummer pole. They come in bigger sizes too. Other than this? Well, screw the National Day and wait for the real thing. Midsummer's Eve!

The weekend closest to the "real" midsummer day is when the Swedes hold their big summer festival, vaguely descended from a pagan summer solstice festival. This feast is celebrated in the heart of the great outdoors, and in the days before Midsummer Swedes leave towns and cities for country cottages, camping sites and marinas.

Actually, it's all about eating pickled herring, getting wasted, puke and then have some more herring and some more vodka (or whatever there is containing alcohol).

Sweden Fucking Rules, Your Stupid Countries Suck!

I was surprised to find most of the Internet open this morning. Don't you know it's a red-letter day? Or a bank holiday, I mean. Well, here in Sweden at least. Starting this year. So don't try to contact Superblog!! via the embassies today:

The Embassy of Sweden in Washington will be closed on Monday, June 6th to celebrate Sweden's first official National Day.

Fly the Blue and Yellow proudly.

Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

The blue stands for melancholy, and the yellow represents the urine spilled at the moment of death by convicted criminals at the gallows of Stockholm. The colors are arranged into a cross pattern to mock Christians. Here are the stupid reasons for the date:

Since 1916, June 6 has been celebrated as the Swedish Flag Day, but it was not until 1983 that it officially became the National Day. For a long time Sweden was probably one of very few countries in the world with no national day. [...] The date was chosen because Gustav Vasa was elected as the King of Sweden on that day in 1523, and it is also the day when Sweden's constitution was signed in 1809.

And this year, after much discussion, it finally became a bank holiday. To be perfectly honest, Swedes aren't very patriotic, so the only ones who care are probably the Nazis:

"On June 6, Stockholm's streets will again be dominated by Swedes and not by sleazy immigrants waiting for an easy victim. On June 6, we'll take back our country," one of the groups, National Opposition, states on its website.

The Nazis go on to urge all Swedes to celebrate their National Day by eating Nogger Blacks. Superblog!!, on the other hand, recommends drinking imported beer and eating greasy pizza. Cheers!

Photo #25: Nekobasu!

It's good to know that I own a very cool thing. The Nekobus or the cat bus is a cat that is a bus. Nekobasu is my friend and I love him very much. Nekobasu is a character in Tonari no Totoro. One day I must buy that movie so I can watch it over and over again! (not kidding)

My Neighbor Totoro is that rare delight, a family film that appeals to children and adults alike. While their mother is in the hospital, 10-year-old Satsuki and 4-year-old Mei move into an old-fashioned house in the country with their professor father. At the foot of an enormous camphor tree, Mei discovers the nest of King Totoro, a giant forest spirit who resembles an enormous bunny rabbit. Mei and Satsuki learn that Totoro makes the trees grow, and when he flies over the countryside or roars in his thunderous voice, the winds blow. Totoro becomes the protector of the two sisters, watching over them when they wait for their father, and carrying them over the forests on an enchanted journey. When the children worry about their mother, Totoro sends them to visit her via a Catbus, a magical, multilegged creature with a grin the Cheshire Cat might envy.

UPDATE: Shock & Awe!!! You can download Totoro's theme here! Download, listen and cry happy tears!

I've Been Meaning to Blog About Christine Chubbuck

For a long time. It's remained on my list of possible blog subjects, month after month. And I'm sick and tired of it so today I'm officially crossing it off the list. Actually, I don't really feel like writing much, so I'll just point you in the direction of some online sources and be done with it.

There's some info on actors and TV personalities who've died onstage at snopes.com. Specifically:

Chris Chubbuck (died 15 July 1974)
Some people will do anything for a scoop. When a technical problem interfered with the orderly presentation of a story on her morning news show, this 30-year-old news anchor announced, "In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts and in living color, you are going to see another first -- attempted suicide." She then drew a revolver and shot herself in the head. Chubbuck expired 14 hours later in hospital.

However interesting it might be to see this, there's apparently no publicly available video clip. From an online discussion:

Keep in mind that this happened in 1974, before home video equipment was widely used and available. The copy from the television station was taken by the police for investigation. So, there is at least one copy out there, but it will probably never hit the public domain. I've been trying to find this one for years. I've found neither hide nor hair of this event. If there are copies of it available, they are few and far between.

There's a Wikipedia page with some info, and an MSN group dedicated to the subject. Most informative is probably this Washington Post article (PDF format).

Maybe I'll be the first person to kill himself while blogging! Except I'd probably be the twenty-thousand-four-hundred-and-second or something.

Weekend of Zero Guzzling

No shitfacedness for Superblog!! Uncle Sammy dropped out early on, whereas I remained undecided a bit longer. Ultimately, though, I opted to stay in, drinking coffee and reading comics (and, just now, watching the conclusion of the rather Office-inspired but surprisingly accomplished Swedish TV show Ulveson & Herngren).

Loyal Superblog!! readers might be forgiven for questioning our decision. I can virtually hear you gasping out loud: "But... why would they do such a thing? Are these Superblog!! people not quite as hard-drinking as we have been led to believe?!"

Well, as you know, Sammy is ancient and incredibly decrepit (and hideous to look at), so I guess he's got an excuse for staying in. Me, I'm still young and gorgeous, so I probably have to bear the brunt of your ire. In my defense, I will say that I feel a bit tired and weak and may die any minute.

Anyway, who are you to judge me? Fuck off.

P.S. The photo is of some of my teeth. D.S.

Photo #24: Horse of Course

Hello all, I took this photo to prove that I live where the not so wild horses roam. Mission accomplished. I've got to head back to the game now. Football, Sweden-Malta, and Sweden leads by 4-0. Not a very exciting game but it's still football. (soccer!!!) Uh... Yes. Sometimes we slaughter our little Swedish horses and put them on our sandwiches after some slicing and dicing. Good stuff! More about the horse eating business here.

There is a ferocious ongoing debate in the U.S. over the right or wrong of hippophagy (or making a meal out of Ol’ Lightnin’). But the reality is that people have been eating horse meat for as long as people and horses have shared the same lands, and most countries around the globe would no more consider banning horse meat for human consumption than they’d outlaw onions.

Porn is the Answer!

How to get dough for bar hopping is the question and porn is the answer!! I mean, we have whined a lot about how the revenues of Superblog!! never cover our expenses and the solution just hit me in the forehead. ICANN is about to release a new super domain. The .xxx porn domain! We'll just apply for www.superblog.xxx and in no time we'll have an endless supply of suckers feeding our Cayman bank account. Sweet!! Koala and Sammy, the pornographers!
But don't you worry regular visitor, Superblog!! as you have come to know it will remain a site for the whole family.

It's official—the Web soon will have its own red-light district. This week, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers approved a plan that will allow pornographic Web sites to use URLs that end with ".xxx."

To Drink, or Not to Drink

To drink, or not to drink: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by guzzling drown them? To tank up: to booze;
No more; and by tank up to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To lush, to guzzle;
To guzzle: perchance to puke: ay, there's the rub;
For in drunkenness what blog entries may come
When we have shuffled off this sober veil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.

Should Superblog!! get shitfaced tomorrow? Vote now!

Photo #23: The Squirrel from Hell

Squirrels are per definition evil which was proven a long time ago here at Superblog!! Hmmm..I guess this one is almost evil enough to qualify for Superblog!!'s new exciting feature so maybe it will show up there too. The squirrel from hell stands on my porch planning mayhem and destruction. I haven't named it yet but I'm thinking that something like Dubya or Noam might be a good choice.

UPDATE: There' one squirrel that will be left out from my extermination scheme. Eventually.

Superblog!! Enemies, Part 1: The Man Who Stole Ghost World

When you're as cool and fearless as Superblog!!, naturally you make a lot of enemies. Thus: I hereby inaugur a new Superblog!! feature, Superblog!! Enemies, where we'll discuss people who have done us wrong in one way or another. The first one out is Rudolph the Fucknosed Fuckface.

Once I attended a party in the building where Rudolph lived at the time. The party was pretty boring, because I only knew a couple of people there, and them I didn't really like. And the rest struck me as not worth getting to know. So I was just sitting there, drinking, trying to avoid looking people in the eyes, discreetly scrawling great big FUCK YOUs in the host's guestbook. (It's one of my hobbies.)

Around midnight I left the site of the festivities and walked around in the building. Somehow I stumbled across Rudolph's apartment. I rang the doorbell, but the fat fuck wasn't in, so I decided to write him a note. Being drunk, and therefore HILARIOUS, I wrote something along the lines of "We came by to fuck you but you weren't in. Therefore you are gay." and signed it "Tiffany & Amber". This was a reference to a similar scene in Ghost World (both the comic by Dan Clowes and the movie adaptation). But it later turned out that Rudolph (the stupid moron!) didn't get the reference, because he wasn't familiar with either one. So I had to lend him my copy of the comic and the DVD. And you know what? Now it's been SIXTEEN YEARS and he still hasn't returned them. (No, it was just last year, but it feels longer.)

Anyway. I've given up hope of ever getting my stuff back. Now I just want someone reading this to kill Rudolph. If you're a professional hitman, or perhaps an ambitious amateur operating in the vicinity of Linköping, Sweden, please email a cost estimate to superblog2@hotmail.com. Serious offers only.

Photo #22: Josivaldo na Mira de Naza !!!

Finally on Superblog!! Brazilian Magazines! I never had the chance to buy any of these because the photograph was taken from a moving van. Too bad. I really would have liked to read about orgasmo do seu jeito. Luckily, I do a lot of research while blogging so I just found out that all of us can read about it at Ouse.

Superblog!! Proud providor of links to orgasmo do seu jeito.

When the Sith Hits the Fan

Sith!! Fuck!! Koala already did it! As a matter of fact that one was about episode II.. But you know, I'm pretty much seduced by the dark side so I will quote a few lines from Mark Steyn's review of episode III where Mr Steyn continues in Koala's footsteps about the shitty dialogue.

When Senator-Queen Padmé (Natalie Portman) reveals that she’s pregnant, her secret husband Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) reacts with an eerie glassy-eyed expression as if he’s hypnotised himself trying to remember the next line. Eventually, Lucas prompts him and he utters the words, ‘I’ll have the club sandwich.’ No, wait. That’s just what it sounds like. He actually says: ‘You’re so ...beautiful.’

‘It’s only because I’m so in love,’ says Padmé tonelessly, like a spy giving the reply password.
‘No,’ says Anakin. ‘I’m so in love. With you,’ he adds helpfully, just in case Padmé figures it’s the hot-looking Wookie strolling by in the background.

Okie dokie...that sums up the quality of the dialogue in the movie. Since Marky Mark is sort of a political columnist he also writes some stuff about the two seemingly similar über leaders Darth and Dubya.

‘I have brought peace, freedom, justice, security to my new empire,’ he cackles, trying to sound like one pithed Sith. ‘If you’re not with me, you are my enemy.’ Uh-oh. Anakin seems to be transmogrifying into Darth W. Bush.

‘Only a Sith deals in absolutes,’ scoffs Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Oh, put a lightsabre in it, will you?

The allegedly anti-Bush ‘subtext’ has won Lucas the unlikely approval of the Cannes Film Festival crowd, but honestly: how desperate do you have to be to applaud mockery of Bush for seeing everything in black and white from a guy who’s spent 28 years peddling a fairytale so basic the good guys and the bad guys are called the Good Side and the Dark Side.

KoalaCam: Multiple Homers

Hey, Sammy's not the only one who can post stupid photos and call it blogging! This particular pic holds a lot of significance for me because it features a bunch of people dressed as Homer Simpson, who was sort of my hero for many years (before he betrayed me).

I still remember exactly where I was when I took this photo - pretty much where I sit now. It was an August afternoon in 2004. I was watching an old episode of L.A. Law on TV4 for some stupid reason and suddenly I went, What the fuck?! Look at all the Homers!! (except in Swedish), and I knew I had to take a picture. Actually I took several photos, but I liked this one the best, and now I post it for you to look at.

If you like it, send money.

Photo #21: Man in Black

Today's photo is from ehh.. 1990? I drank so much those years so it's hard to tell. Anyway, the camera I used wasn't the best but that didn't stop me from taking timeless masterpieces like the above, or this!! Travelling took place by train (Viva Amtrak) and they had a lot of screwdrivers (Viva vodka) in the lounge car. I was in the US the year before too and that trip paid off well because I got some vouchers ($400) from American Airlines after the plane I was on had to make some kind of emergency landing in Goose Bay. We were stuck there for 12 hours and they stopped serving booze .. Assholes. But in the end that engine failure made it possible for me to go back. For me everything works out because I am loved by both Satan and God.