Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Lost Cowboy Found

Sadly, it seems that my speculations the other day may have been correct. Frequent SUPERBLOG!! correspondent Moko has intercepted a promotional image for Season Five of ABC's hit show Lost. The image, leaked by disgruntled former employees, shows a mostly-obscured but clearly cowboy-like figure hovering ominously near a bound Benjamin Linus. So, contrary to earlier reports, it now appears that Cowboy Joe's first appearance will be in the fifth season's debut episode (possibly titled "Not Your Average Joe", as per the tag line in the image). We can expect the show to suck until then, and then suddenly improve dramatically as soon as we hear Cowboy Joe's trademark whistling.

The promo image subtly hints at the possibility of forced sodomy. I'm told by sources close to the production that sodomy (forced and otherwise) will indeed be a major theme in the fifth season.

SUPERBLOG!! will follow this story as it develops.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Still No Joe :-(

Lost has returned - but whither Cowboy Joe? His absence is currently the show's greatest mystery. I know we were all terribly disappointed when the fourth season of Lost started airing in January and Joe was nowhere in sight, despite repeated promises from the producers. And then we hoped that the writer's strike would have given them a chance to get back on track and finally introduce The Man With No Name (i.e. Joe). But no. At this point, I guess it's even possible he's been pushed to season 5, which would suck.

Yeah, everybody likes Benjamin Linus but he's no Joe, is he? Unless he has a dual identity of course. Maybe when Ben popped into his Secret Hieroglyph Closet he activated a time-and-space machine and travelled to the Old West where he became Cowboy Joe? (After all, the first and last names of "Cowbow Joseph" contains exactly the same number of letters - just like "Benny Linus"! Coincidence?) And when Ben returned all smoky and we assumed it was just because he had activated Smokey the Smoke Monster, maybe he was actually covered in cowboy dust? Yeah, it's a theory.

If you had to kill off just one major cast member to make room for Joe, who would it be? You can't pick them all, sorry. Also, what kind of animal should he or she be eaten by? Don't say polar bear!

Saturday Fun: Ernst-Hugo!

Ernst-Hugo RULES!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Disfiguring Makeups

I pronounce this SUPERBLOG!!'s Site of the Day:

Featuring actresses in a variety of disfiguring makeups.
The head injuries sub-section includes a number of characters whose heads have been shaved for brain surgery but most cases of hair loss (whether through illness or shaving) are included in the hairless characters section.

Is it of scholarly interest or is it a fetish site or is it wholesome family entertainment? Or all three? U-decide!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Face of Fascism

A little-known fact about me is that I speak fluent German when drunk. Sadly, these days I'm mostly sober.

Three points to the first person who makes a clever remark that connects Heino's album, pictured above, with the word motherfucker.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Photo #152: Licorice Cat Alive and Almost Well !!!

Remember Licorice? Yes you do. Nobody forgets him. He returned and now he's limping around here having the time of his life.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Friday, April 18, 2008

Fuck Fuck Fuck You

Number Whatever in a series.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Fun #9: Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Look, up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane.

It's Superman.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sammy 65

Special day! SUPERBLOG!! junior partner Uncle Sammael was born X or Y years ago today which makes him a... Capricorn? Or some other kind of animal. I got him a bottle with a funny hat and a couple of lousy DVDs. (Boring, yeah, but last year me and some assholes got him an AWESOME, EXPENSIVE gift and he hasn't used it once!) A Capricorn is a milk-goat. Here is a glass of milk:

Saturday, April 12, 2008

How I Stole Philosophy from That Philosophy Dude

I just cut and pasted. That's how.

I've been warned that the intellectual's life is somewhat disheartening because we know too much. We are too aware of the flaws in life that living loses its idealistic magic. For example, long-term atheists will always have trouble ducking their heads under the water of spiritual awakening--we are too rational.

Since ignorance is indeed bliss, but willful ignorance is unheard of, what is the intellectual to do?

I suggest complete acceptance of the dirty truth. When our expectations of life do not exceed its capacity, we will hopefully get the same comforts of the person in fantasy-land.

So, here are some admissions. Get ready to "suck it up" as they say:

- Nobody will ever understand you completely.
- You can only speak for yourself.
- There will always be a major distortion between what you know, what you will be able to communicate, and what people will then comprehend.

- There is no such thing as perfect trust.
- Life does have no intrinsic meaning.
- Much of my life is directed by things preceding me and therefore out of my control.
- Your mind will always be polluted by public discourse (superego*).
- We impact everything, but yet we are often powerless to control.
- Discursive opinion will often not match reality.
- Perspectives and living are ephemeral and temporary.
- There is no perfect truth (save for maybe Math)
- You will always be irrational.
- Your emotions will always interfere with your sense of truth.
- Life is composed of layers of visible and invisible cliche's and story lines
- We are ultimately subject to forces beyond us, natural selection, laws of accelerating returns, etc.
- There is no perfect break from some vaguely deterministic path.
- What ppl tell you or how others view you will inevitbly affect you.
- No event or action is completely beneficial.
- You will always be an agent of some evil.
- You will never be beyond reproach.
- You will be the vehicle of stupid actions that are equally as inane as the sins of others
- You will always have bias.
- Outside of science, nobody knows. like politics. etc.
- We will always have to act on incomplete knowledge.
- There is no absolutely good action
- You will never be able to do precisely what you want to do
- There is no true home
- You can never be truly authentic
- There will always be so much more beyond your awareness.
- Not everything is possible
- You will always be part of an existing process
- You can never truly break from the trajectory, maybe nudge it around, but that'll ultimately be part of that trajectory
- Your weaknesses will always be betrayed by your actions at some point
- You will always be in some nature fake
- No event or meal or situation or conversation will be completely satisfactory
- Nothing will every be completely satisfactory
- You will never be completely comfortable
- Something will always be itchy
- The gravity of life will always be subject to potential subjection of risk to utter, stupid, and simple anniilation. Like a car accident.
- You will never have total control
- You won't be able to win them all. Someone will always hate you no matter what.
- There is no perfect art
- There are other lives within you that will carry on their own
- You won't ever be beyond your own embarassment.
- You will never do the optimal thing
- There is no true external should.
- There will always be a kryptonite.
- You cannot escape your emotions.
- You cannot forget the past.
- Something will always haunt you.
- Nobody is beyond temptation
- Knowing and doing will always be different

Added 4/11/04:
- You won't ever completely understand yourself or others.
- Some things you will never be able to get over.
- You will never rid the world of evil and cruelty
- You will never reach your full potential

Added 4/12/04
- You will always be subject to the needs of your containing vehicles: physical body, relationships, family, house, nation, car, etc..
- Because of the nature of time, everything that persists requires maintenence.

Look Out World

In Your Fucking Face.

In Your Fucking Fucking Face.

[Image stolen from Morrison/Jones: Marvel Boy (2001).]

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Oh God No

Now entering actively-digging-myself-into-a-deep-dark-hole mode.

See also:

  • lies
  • hopelessness
  • failure
  • madness

[Image stolen from the DMU MA Students Exhibition.]

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Freeeeeeuuud !!!

Tomorrow: Big Psycho therapy event fair thingie in Stockholm.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Fun #8: Sexy Bean

And when you've finished jerking off, here are some BONUS LANKAR:

Comics by Ellen Forney: How d'ya sew an amputated finger back on? and How to become a $ucce$$ful call girl! Incredibly useful advice, both.

300, The Cat Version (video)

Kalle Takes Knark: Den magiska amuletten (a Swedish Donald Duck comic)

How to confuse your neighbours (confusing)

Saturday, April 05, 2008

The Year of Definitely Not Watching Any DVDs: March, 2008

I have to watch a lot of stuff so that I may eventually stop watching so much stuff. You get me? Here's what I watched in March (R = repeat):

24 Hour Party People (2002), Eastern Promises (2007), Ghostbusters II (1989) (R), The Thing (1982) (R), Superman: The Animated Series: Season 2, Episodes 1-15, 19-28 (1997-1998), Kirikou et la sorcière / Kirikou and the Sorceress (1998) (R), The Day of the Jackal (1973) (R), Superman: The Animated Series: Season 3 (1998-2000, 13 episodes), Zodiac (2007), The Hudsucker Proxy (1994), Citizen Ruth (1996), Girl, Interrupted (1999), The Black Dahlia (2006), Rome: Season 2 (2007, 10 episodes), Catch Me If You Can (2002), Lost in La Mancha (2002) (R), Insignificance (1985), The Masque of the Red Death (1964), Cast Away (2000), Saving Private Ryan (1998) (R), The Fantastic Four (1994), RoboCop (1987) (R), Fifty Pills (2006), RoboCop 2 (1990) (R), The Man from Earth (2007), From Hell (2001) (R), RoboCop 3 (1993), Closet Land (1991), Batman Returns (1992) (R), Threshold: Season 1 (2005, 13 episodes), Superman II (1980) (R), Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006), Famous Studios' Superman (1942-1943, 8 episodes), Superman III (1983) (R), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) (R), Spanking the Monkey (1994), Superman Returns (2006) (R), The Apartment (1960) (R), Tideland (2005), Pollyanna (1960) (R), 13 Tzameti (2005), Sixteen Candles (1984), Some Like It Hot (1959) (R), The Age of Innocence (1993), Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942), All the Real Girls (2003), Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982/2007) (R), Tin Man (2007, 3 episodes), Chapter 27 (2007), The Office (US): Season 1 (2005, 6 episodes), D.E.B.S. (2004)

I was going to arrange these in order from Good to Bad, but the demarcation between Pretty Good and Pretty Bad didn't seem very clear.

Best of the month: Lots of repeats so there was plenty of stuff I liked, but nothing that really bowled me over.

Worst of the month: Maybe RoboCop 3? The Tin Man mini was pretty awful. Return to Oz is 60 times better.

Best Wikipedia Sabotage Ever

From the Trivia section of the Wikipedia page for Professor Ratigan:

In SuperOobi and His Amazing Friends (Star Wars) Episode VI: Return to the Autobiogeographerm, Shark Skywalker's father, Ratigan Skywalker living in the fiery hot planet, Mustafar. In addition, He battle his son. Sir Shark slice-a-dice his two legs and right arm and he's burning by the fire.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Happy April Fool's Day!

Many fell for SUPERBLOG!!'s April Fool's Day joke this year. Personally I think it's one of our very best April Fool's jokes ever. But throughout history there have been a tiny handful of jokes that reached the same level of greatness. Some of them are mentioned in the Museum of Hoaxes' list of the Top 10 Worst April Fool's Day Hoaxes Ever. Such as Uday Hussein promising people bananas when really, there were no bananas. (Yes! They had no bananas.) I like this one too:

#2: Releasing The Prisoners
Imagine reading that your husband or brother who has been held in a squalid Romanian prison for years is finally going to be released. You make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!' This experience happened to sixty people in April 2000 who read in the Opinia newspaper that their loved ones were going to be released from the Baia Mare prison in Romania. They made the long journey to the prison, only to learn that the paper had played an April Fool's joke on them.

There's also something to be said for running your April Fool's joke on March 28, because the readers "would've seen through this had I posted it on the 1st" (quoted from the Comments). Brilliant. Every day can be April Fool's Day if you want it to.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Fun #7: Mer-Man

Today's fun is Mer-Man. Here are his appearances and here is his Wikipedia entry:

Mer-Man is apparently the king of a species of amphibious humanoid creatures who inhabit at least some part of the oceans of the planet Eternia. Sometimes it is stated that Mer-Man is not just the ruler of his own race but also the ruler of all that lies beneath the sea.

I guess that wasn't very fun but you can't expect each and every fun to be super.

Tomorrow: April Fools jokes!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Photo #151: Licorice Cat!!!

This is a cat called Licorice which means lakrits for Swedish licorce eaters. It's not my cat but it visited occasionally. A month ago it sat outside the window, no Licorice jumped around outside the window and he took a bad fall and I carried him home because he got a limp. Haven't seen him for a while now. What happened to Licorice? Nobody knows. When I know, I will blog about it.


I got you, didn't I? Tell me I got you.