Thursday, June 02, 2005

When the Sith Hits the Fan



Sith!! Fuck!! Koala already did it! As a matter of fact that one was about episode II.. But you know, I'm pretty much seduced by the dark side so I will quote a few lines from Mark Steyn's review of episode III where Mr Steyn continues in Koala's footsteps about the shitty dialogue.

When Senator-Queen Padmé (Natalie Portman) reveals that she’s pregnant, her secret husband Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) reacts with an eerie glassy-eyed expression as if he’s hypnotised himself trying to remember the next line. Eventually, Lucas prompts him and he utters the words, ‘I’ll have the club sandwich.’ No, wait. That’s just what it sounds like. He actually says: ‘You’re so ...beautiful.’

‘It’s only because I’m so in love,’ says Padmé tonelessly, like a spy giving the reply password.
‘No,’ says Anakin. ‘I’m so in love. With you,’ he adds helpfully, just in case Padmé figures it’s the hot-looking Wookie strolling by in the background.


Okie dokie...that sums up the quality of the dialogue in the movie. Since Marky Mark is sort of a political columnist he also writes some stuff about the two seemingly similar über leaders Darth and Dubya.

‘I have brought peace, freedom, justice, security to my new empire,’ he cackles, trying to sound like one pithed Sith. ‘If you’re not with me, you are my enemy.’ Uh-oh. Anakin seems to be transmogrifying into Darth W. Bush.
‘Only a Sith deals in absolutes,’ scoffs Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Oh, put a lightsabre in it, will you?
The allegedly anti-Bush ‘subtext’ has won Lucas the unlikely approval of the Cannes Film Festival crowd, but honestly: how desperate do you have to be to applaud mockery of Bush for seeing everything in black and white from a guy who’s spent 28 years peddling a fairytale so basic the good guys and the bad guys are called the Good Side and the Dark Side.

2 comments:

Koala Mentala said...

If he's following in my footsteps (which he is), why doesn't Steyn credit Superblog!!?!?!?!? EVIL.

And is/was/be Padmé the same as Amidala or what??!?! What was that fucking stupid scene in Ep 1 supposed to mean?!?! EVIL.

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