Wednesday, February 28, 2007


So that's how it is. Everybody likes Sammy's stupid tree post that took him 2 minutes to create, nobody likes my stupid film post that took me 30 hours. How IRONIC. Like a broken leg at Christmas. Or urine in your mouth on a Tuesday. (Yes, I went to the Alanis Morrissette School of Irony.)

I take some comfort in knowing I'm the author of probably the most popular SUPERBLOG!! post of all time.

SUPERBLOG!! Site of the Day: Wikipedia's entry for Wikipedia.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Photo #124: A Stupid Tree

I said yesterday to Koala that I should blog or give him a DVD from Statoil. By posting that stupid tree I saved 59 Swedish crowns. It has come to this.... I really must fool myself into blogging crap. How can blogging ever be funny again?

Sunday, February 25, 2007

2007: The Year of Watching DVDs, Part VII: Swashfuckling

This week's watching:

Green Mile (1999)
Oooh, bad start. Actually, it was pretty entertaining while it was going on but a lot of stuff was just a little bit annoying, and I'm certain that, were I to watch it again, I'd find them very annoying. Because to enjoy this movie you have to swallow an amazing amount of shit. Some of it's standard for Stephen King: the good are Good and the bad are Bad, and no character is allowed to have more than one dimension. King is seemingly incapable of creating a work populated with anything resembling real people. Coffey's unconvincing Jesus-powers are also par for the course. But other problems are more specific to this story. Like the bogus race relations. And the over-the-top, completely unrealistic, execution scene. And the fact that Good Tom Hanks tries exactly nothing to get Jesus Coffey's case reopened. And the constant emotional manipulation and sentimentalism.

Marie Antoinette (2006)
I... like it. Sofia Coppola (who almost singlehandedly managed to destroy Godfather III, lest we forget) has an irritating habit of endearing herself to me by picking some of my favorite songs to accompany key sequences in her films. So I can't help but loving her movies, even when they suck. And I don't think this one sucks. What's wrong with using pop video aesthetics in a historical drama anyway? Everyone should do it.

Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
Everybody in this movie is gay, except Claude Rains, who is super-mega-ultra-gay (SMUG). I don't mean gay as in homosexual, I mean gay as in jolly. No, wait, I mean both. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Gandhi (1982)
One of Ben Kingsley's three greatest movies. The other two being Schindler's List and BloodRayne. It's hard to pick a favorite among them, but I think I like this one best of all. Even though it's super long.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)
So much of this movie is genuinely excellent, so it's unfortunate that it's covered in schmaltz. I also don't understand what the American flag has to do with World War II. Is this a film for people who believe the war started in the 1940s or what? But that's Señor Spielbergo for you. Still, I think this is one of his bestest films.

Gone With the Wind (1939)
Stupid Irish bitch in the South marries some fucker and then another fuck and then maybe she falls for a smug fucker or something. Usually when I watch movies I pay attention but I just had this on in the background on the computer while surfing and doing stuff. So I guess I won't rate it. I'll try it again before I die.

Der Untergang (2004)
Is 75 percent of the movies on the IMDb 250 list about World War II, or is it just me?

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Annie Hall (1977)
Woody Allen's bestest film.

La Belle et la Bête (1946)
Beautiful. (Yeah, I hate the French, but you can watch it with the sound off.)

Raging Bull (1980)
Ferdinand vs the cork tree.

Nights of Cabiria (1957)
Guiletta Masina is charismatic but I find parts of this movie irritating and predictable. Then again, I'm not a huge fan of Fellini. I'll use the Willis Weapon.

Harvey (1950)
Insanity is the solution! This is a sort of prequel to Donnie Darko, starring James Stewart as a nice drunkard.

Apocalypse Now Redux (1979/2001)
Since I'm a firm believer in Less Is More, I'd probably like the old version better. For instance, the added scene with the French fuckers was probably unnecessarily long. But I've never seen the original so I was very impressed with this version. Interesting tidbit: You know, when you watch a lot of fucking movies in a row, invariably there's some weird cases of synchronicity. One character in this movie mentions the name "Elwood", which is the name of Jimmy Stewart's character in Harvey. What does that mean?

Twofifty update: 184.