Saturday, January 31, 2009

1, 1, 1, 3, 5, 30, 454


These are the new NUMBERS. I changed them. Remember them always. 1 and 1 and 1 and 3 and 5 and 30 and 454. Play them at the lottery and win $1,113,530,454.

Also: here is the new Hurley:


Post #1467

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Fun #30: W for Work

Working isn't fun, it's absolutely horrible. Don't let anybody tell you anything else. It's no way for a human being to live. Work is for animals and subhuman creatures. So I say it's time for all us humans to quit our jobs and let society pay. Because what are we accomplishing anyway? Even if we DO do something right, don't we just feel dirty afterwards? Because we know in our hearts that work is Wrong.







Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wolfgang



His music is very inspirational. Today is his birthday. He is not with us anymore.
But what he did in life echoes in eternity.

Mozart Sketch

Update Alert!

This is to inform you that this blog will be updated tomorrow.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Fun #29: V for Victim




Friday, January 23, 2009

Head O State!



FUN FUN FUN & GOOD GOOD GOOD!!!! Buy your blue (or golden) Obama Sex Toy Now!
Proudly endorsed by Joe the plumber.

Currently Reading #31: More Space


Sequel and prequel of 30.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Fun #28: Gifs

We're rapidly approaching the end of FUN here at SUPERBLOG!!
It's been a remarkably lazy and dull feature and I'm happy that's it's over. Well, within say five installments at least. Or six or so. This time, the subject is GIFs. GIFs from the Internet.

Dobbsheads:


Ewok:


Chicken:


Female brain:


Male brain:


Homer:


Kim:


Rapey banner:
'

This has been a SALUTE TO GIFS.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Turderland

This is not Sweden's national anthem but it should be. I mean the whole world's.


type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344">

Original lyrics. Machine translated:

Turderland, Turderland, tuning now your people!
Let the blade of the kings!
Turderland, Turderland, open your HULK!
See all snowflakes flake!

Pour all the forests and mountains in a valley
Replace all the fires on cakes!
Force soldiers into the case,
until they get women and children!

Turderland, Turderland, fly now your buoy!
Run like a crane in July!
Turderland, Turderland, embed your bunk!
Sell your eggs to a COOLY!

Stand in the way of speeding up the club!
Bend your Bible to read!
Crucify the fule with dyckert and nail!
Love yourself and your nose!

Turderland, Turderland, carve a tree
endangered species!
Turderland, Turderland, now spread your loins!
Find your OS starts!

Chisel a fin of lost wind!
Stay in the newborn cradle!
Wash a dragon Gåtornas at the gate!
Hoist a hollow flag!

Turderland, Turderland, here is my hand!
Take it, shake it like!
Turderland, Turderland, you are my country!
I am your shining star!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Fun #27: Movie Stars

A list of the top 10 greatest film stars of this or any generation!

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger, governator and beard-mongerer. Seen here with his friend Ronald.


2. Tom Cruise, scientologist. Click on pic to make it move!!!!


3. David Hasselhoff, alcoholic. Seen here with Gary Coleman, who suffers from a congenital kidney disease causing focal segmental glomerulosclerosis.


4. Cameron Diaz, blonde.



5. Mr T, cool. Seen here with his friend JFK and Governor John Connally.


6. Lisa Kudrow, friend. Seen here with her murderer.


And that's ten exactly!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Noooooo!


Our greatest hero, Patrick Fucking McGoohan, dead at a way-too-young 80!

You bastards! You should have kept him alive with prayers!



Friday Update: The AV Club has an excellent piece up about P McG's screen persona (which probably mirrored his real-life attitude):
McGoohan faced us in a state of perpetual irritation—sometimes softening to tolerance, more often blossoming into full blown rage, but always with a foundation of contempt for everything and everyone, the fury of a man who judges the world and finds it perpetually wanting.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Currently Reading #30



"Currently Reading" is the recurring SUPERBLOG!! feature you people care the MOST about, right? Well, that's business. Praise the profit.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Almond Paste #4: The Paste Fucker!



There you go! It aint no damned copy & paste fucker. It's the genuine, one of a kind, PASTE FUCKER!! I guess that was the final almond paste installment. Here you'll find one two three earlier installments.
I hope we can find some use for the paste fucker in the future since it was delicate work to produce him. That goes for the tits too. Semen felt like no problems at all.

Semen is an organic fluid, also known as seminal fluid, that usually contains spermatozoa. It is secreted by the gonads (sexual glands) and other sexual organs of male or hermaphroditic animals and can fertilize female ova. The process of discharge is called ejaculation.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Lost Chapters of the Book of Koala


[Hey, longtime readers! Remember The Book of Koala? It's a book I was once writing and publishing on this blog. We left off at chapter 36 like three years ago, but going through my FILES (Yes I have FILES) I discovered I had actually written a little more. So here's the last of it. It's surely complete suck but probably no worse than the rest of it and here at SUPERBLOG!! we strive not for excellence but for completeness. Even though it's short I can't be bothered to read through it to check for typos and inconsistencies or unfinished sentences. Do of it what thou wilt:]




Chapter 37: Dog Dick

Standing in line for opera tickets, Melissa realized that she didn't love her husband, and perhaps she never had.
"Mike's a nice guy", she thought to herself. "But he's not like Scooter."
Scooter was the family dog. A large St. Bernard, ever faithful.

"There's no use kidding myself any longer. Sure, when I close my eyes during lovemaking, and make him wear the oven mittens, I can imagine his hands being huge, hairy paws. But it's just not the same."

Melissa was, like, totally okay with being labeled a "dogfucker" at work. In fact, she wore it as a kind of badge that she was proud of wearing. As a kind of badge, you know. She wore it. A badge. She fucked dogs. I don't know where I'm going with this story, so let's agree to drop it, okay? She fucked dogs!




Chapter 38: Portrait of the Artist as a Skanky Ho

The red-throated loon of death was flying around merrily, singing to itself. It was singing "Mona Lisa" by Britney Spears, a very catchy number that doesn't get the recognition it deserves. Why is it that the true ARTISTS (like Britney) always have to labor in obscurity, while talentless HACKS like Donkey Kong, Jr. (you know, he of video game fame) get all the attention and money and whores? Is it just because Mr Kong is an ape, while Britney is a human (well, barely) woman? Is it? There's a word for that kind of behaviour and that word is RACISM.

Incidentally, doesn't that KONG movie look fucking great? I liked Naomi Watts in "Mulholland Drive" and I liked King Kong in "King Kong". This could turn out great.

[NOTE: This was obviously written before Peter Jackson's King Kong movie premiered.]




[BONUS INSERTED REVIEW THOUGHTS ON KONG FOR A BLOG POST THAT NEVER HAPPENED:

The Passion of the Kong

Kong is a Messianic figure. He is King and God of a small island, captured and brought to civilization, nailed to a cross and photographed. There should have been a scene in the movie where Kong, standing atop the Empire State Building, yells at the sky: "My Father, why have you forsaken me?". And then he's killed by airplanes.

If I had a problem with the movie, it was all the bloodless mayhem, most glaring in the dinosaur stampede. Just like in Return of the King, it's weird and disturbing to see scenes of major violence without a single drop of blood spilling. But other than that, most of the film worked. The actors were fine, and I enjoyed the ironic yet loving references to the original movie. I guess I have to deduct a few points because, although it's strongly implied that the girl and the ape are lovers, we never actually get to SEE them have sex.]




Chapter 39: Panjo, You Piece of Trash!

"Shut your filthy pie-hole and drop and and give me head! I mean twenty."

Said the Drill Sergeant. He hadn't been feeling well lately and was prone to saying stuff.

The drill sergeant was a large, burly man, capable of extreme violence when provoked. Suddenly he was provoked!




Chapter 40: The Excitement Never Ends

Having won the Wimbledon, I travelled to the stars and was met with complete indifference.




Chapter 41[?]: Mrs Asshole

By the time you read this, Judah Constantinople will be long dead. He had a lot of adventures before he died, though.




Extra Lost Chapter: George Clooney Was A Batty Crapman




Chapter 45: Gun Drama

"I have a gun in my pocket.

But don't worry, I'm just speaking metaphorically. Actually it's a penis.

I took it from a dead man.

He had no use for it, and I had a knife, so I figured... what the hell." The salesman paused.

"Yeah, that makes sense." said the guy standing next to him in line for opera tickets. He smiled uncertainly. "Is that a dead guy's penis in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" The salesman laughed uproariously.

"Both!" smiled the salesman.

"I'm crazy with hunger!!"




[And that's the end of it.]

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Friday, January 09, 2009

Currently Reading #28: Groucho!


Who knew?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

The Year of Definitely Not Watching Any DVDs: December, 2008

The Wire: Season 5 (2008, 10 episodes)
Safety Last! (1923)
Surveillance (2008)
Rosemary's Baby (1968) (R)
Eskiya (1996)
Chinatown (1974) (R)
The Happening (2008)
À l'intérieur (2007) (R)
The Village (2004)
Otesánek / Little Otik (2000)
The Squid and the Whale (2005) (R)
Lady in the Water (2006)
Koara kachô / Executive Koala (2005)
The Sixth Sense (1999) (R)
Nashville (1975)
Mononoke-hime / Princess Mononoke (1997) (R)
Generation Kill (2008, 7 episodes)
Margot at the Wedding (2007)
Oz: Season 6 (2003, 8 episodes) (R)
The Incredibles (2004) (R)
Ghost Town (2008)
Spiklenci slasti / Conspirators of Pleasure (1996)
They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969)
Dexter: Season 3 (2008, 12 episodes)
Double Indemnity (1944) (R)
Double Indemnity (1973)
The Simpsons Movie (2007) (R)
Body Heat (1981)
JCVD (2008)
Los Cronocrímenes / Timecrimes (2007)
The Glass Key (1942)
Munich (2005)
About a Boy (2002)
My Left Foot (1989)
The Crying Game (1992)
Northern Exposure: Season 3 (1991-1992, 23 episodes) (R)
Pushing Daisies: Season 1 (2007, 9 episodes)
Rogue Trader (1999)
Stardust (2007)
The Dark Knight (2008) (R)
Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta / Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986)
Night at the Museum (2006)
Switchblade Sisters (1975)
Four Rooms (1995) (R)

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

First Appearance of Snopp-Pie the Sailor!


Taking advantage of recent legal developments, here is a new and wonderful comic strip I like to call Snopp-Pie the Sailor! In this first installment, we are introduced to our principal players. If you click on the strip very carefully, you will make it a little bit bigger.


Snopp-Pie and all related characters and elements are trademarks of and © SUPERBLOG!! Bloggy Features, Inc.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Now We Can Truly Fuck Popeye Up

Alright! It's a new year* and it couldn't have started better - Popeye just entered the public domain!:

Elzie Segar, the Illinois artist who created Popeye, his love interest Olive Oyl and nemesis Bluto, died aged 43 in 1938 and an EU law that protects the rights of authors for 70 years after their death is about to end.
The copyright expiry means that, from Thursday, anyone can print and sell Popeye posters, T-shirts and even create new comic strips, without the need for authorisation or to make royalty payments, the Times reports.

Free Popeye money, bitch! But the trademark is still active so we can't sell stuff using the name "Popeye" or his likeness. So let's call him Snopp-Pie instead! If we can't be fren's we'll be emenies!

*2009

Saturday, January 03, 2009