I used stripcreator to create a comic strip about a Tanzanian Witch Doctor who buys a house in the Hamptons and then visits a friend to tell him all about it, and the misadventures that happen. Here are parts one through four:
You'll notice that it ends on a cliffhanger. I'm hoping to one day expand the strip into a full-length graphic novel and have it published by Fantagraphics or someone.
Taking advantage of recent legal developments, here is a new and wonderful comic strip I like to call Snopp-Pie the Sailor! In this first installment, we are introduced to our principal players. If you click on the strip very carefully, you will make it a little bit bigger.
This is the last and crappiest Marco Polo story ever. I probably held off on publishing it for so long because it's so sucky. But pay attention anyway, you might learn something. Parts 1 thru 3 are in the list below.
Evil Comics is all about being true to yourself and spreading joy. If you're unfamilar with Marco Polo's adventures, you should probably start with part one and continue with part two and then go back and read the part that is staring you in the face right now, and then you should go to sleep for a great many years and when you wake the sky will be full of flying cars and unhappiness will be a thing of the past, thanks to HAPPYPILLSTM, which will be distributed via fax machines right into people's homes.
Such is my vision of future life on this planet, and here are all previously published Evil Comics:
#1: Superblog!!'s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (cover)
#2: Superblog!!'s Girl Friend, Lois Lane (cover)
#3: Jimmy Olsen's Fist of DOOM! (cover)
#4: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part One
#5: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part One
#6: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part Two
#6½: Countdown to Absolutely Static, Hayfever-Inducing Normality (cover)
#7: Superblog!!'s Bitch, Lois Lame (cover)
#8: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part Two
#9: The Cleverest One Yet! (cover)
Aside from changing Superman's line and the text of Lois's diary entry, I have made a number of subtle alterations on this cover. Can you spot all the changes? A cookie for you if you can! Well, can you?
Previous Evil Comics:
#1: Superblog!!'s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (cover)
#2: Superblog!!'s Girl Friend, Lois Lane (cover)
#3: Jimmy Olsen's Fist of DOOM! (cover)
#4: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part One
#5: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part One
#6: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part Two
#6½: Countdown to Absolutely Static, Hayfever-Inducing Normality (cover)
#7: Superblog!!'s Bitch, Lois Lame (cover)
#8: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part Two
Who was it that said Internet campaigns never pay off? Because I'd like to hunt him down and rape him with a fire extinguisher. If there's one group of people I can't stand, other than Malaysians, it's pessimists. Where would we be if George W Bush had listened to the naysayers and abstained from invading Iraq? Well, Saddam would still be in power and Iraq wouldn't be the model democracy and tropical paradise it is today, that's for sure. Also there would be a lot of terrorists running around Europe, bombing civilians.
That's why I've finally decided to give in to fan demands and grace Superblog!! with the second chapter in the sordid yet childish ongoing story of Marco Polo. I think it sucks, what do you think?
Previous Evil Comics:
#1: Superblog!!'s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (cover)
#2: Superblog!!'s Girl Friend, Lois Lane (cover)
#3: Jimmy Olsen's Fist of DOOM! (cover)
#4: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part One
#5: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part One
#6: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part Two
#6½: Countdown to Normality (cover)
#7: Superblog!!'s Bitch, Lois Lame
Jeez, this one kind of sucks, but I felt I had to do it before I could move on to bigger and better things. To get it out of my head, you know.
Previous Evil Comics:
#1: Superblog!!'s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (cover)
#2: Superblog!!'s Girl Friend, Lois Lane (cover)
#3: Jimmy Olsen's Fist of DOOM! (cover)
#4: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part One
#5: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part One
#6: The Origin of Superblog!!, Part Two
Countdown to Absolutely Static, Hayfever-Inducing Normality (cover)
Please note that these comics are aimed at a mature, college-educated audience.
I know you probably don't understand this one, and it's too stupid to explain.
If the crisis is infinite, wouldn't that actually be the normal state of being? They should change the title to INFINITE NORMALITY. Or, to avoid redundancy, just NORMALITY.I later amended it to the current title, because you can shorten it to CASH-IN. Amusing, yes? No. Because jokes are never funny when they have to be explained, dammit. Also, this is nerd humor, which doesn't work outside its natural habitat. My apologies to all Superblog!! readers.
Plus, COUNTDOWN TO NORMALITY is a good title.
I hope you read Part One before this one, because otherwise it's completely incomprehensible. Really. Anyway, this story was ripped off from Superman #1 (June, 1938).
Previous Evil Comics:
#1: Superblog!!'s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (cover)
#2: Superblog!!'s Girl Friend, Lois Lane (cover)
#3: Jimmy Olsen's Fist of DOOM! (cover)
#4: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part One
To make up for the low level of evilness in the last edition (I mean, what's "evil" about Marco Polo being butt-fucked?), this one features child abuse! I ask you, is there anything more evil than child abuse? Probably not. And it's all done with language!
This is the first half. I'll post Part Two tomorrow or so. The original story was published in Superman #1 (June, 1938).
Previous Evil Comics:
#1: Superblog!!'s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (cover)
#2: Superblog!!'s Girl Friend, Lois Lane (cover)
#3: Jimmy Olsen's Fist of DOOM! (cover)
#4: Marco Polo's Journey of Fucking, Part One
Okay, so once again, not very evil. But this masterpiece prompts me to ask a couple of questions:
Question #1: Could Sven Elvén, presumably a cartoonist of Swedish descent, ever have guessed that some of his work would be distorted and abused on an international weblog run by two Swedes some 67 years later? If so, would he have appreciated the irony? (Yes, we're talking the Alanis Morissette brand of irony here:
She exclaims, "Isn't it ironic...don't you think?" My answer: "No!" I have critically analyzed her lyrics and have found only 1 ironic episode therein.)
Question #2: Was Marco Polo, as all evidence (see pictorial depiction above) seems to indicate, primarily concerned with copulation? And was he gay or just experimenting?
The original comic was published in Action Comics #1 (June, 1938), but that version sucked. This one rules.
Previous Evil Comics:
one
two
three
Oh God. I'm so sorry. I realize I'm going to Hell for this one. To the kids in the audience who may be confused and frightened: there is no such thing as an AIDS fist.
Cover taken from Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #120 (June, 1969).
This is the third Superblog!! Evil Comic in a series of 6000. Here's number one and number two.
Okay, so this one's not particularly evil. Unless you're of the opinion that clowns are inherently evil, which maybe they are.
(Incidentally, following up on that last entry: googling for "clownogram" still renders exactly one hit. Now, the attentive Superblog!! visitor may wonder how the fuck that is possible when Superblog!! itself has written about clownograms. The answer, of course, is that Google is fucking crap and should be destroyed. Yahoo Search gives us six "clownogram" hits as of this writing, three of which are from Superblog!! Then again, the supremely sucky MSN Search can't find a single page with the word. Burn in hell, Mr Gates.)
Huh? What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the cover was ripped off from Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #126 (September, 1972).
This is the second Evil Comic in a series of 800. Here's the first one.
Update @ 19:55, Monday: For the purposes of web-searches, let it be known that this blog entry is about a clown-sized penis. Alternate spelling: clown-size penis.
(Actually Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #124, bitched up by me to freak out the squares!)
