Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Photo #20: Hell on Earth

Today I got stuck in a firestorm!!! You could also just say that a car was on fire..but to me it looked like Armageddon. Maybe worse, I don't know for sure. Here's some embroidery. Looking at embroidery is a good way to calm down a little.

Women on the Internet

I want to dedicate this entry to Superblog!! fans Sara, Samantha, Ninni, Victoria, and Cindy-Lou. (I would link to you, except I don't feel like it.)

Thanks to Mr Chapman for sending in the pic.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Today's Photo: Kitty

Well, what do you say?! It's a cat! From Egypt, the land of sand. Once it was cute but now it's just being ugly in a museum in London. In other news. Koala says that I'm blogging like a bag lady and I think he might be right. The problem is that blogging sucks when you have lots of other stuff to do, like being cool and cutting people and so on and so forth. More on the cat. You can buy what looks almost like the mummy-kitty here but it is not for real !!!! Tomorrow I'll introduce new features in the Today's Photo section. There will be numbers associated with each photo. Don't miss it!!!

Emo, Hygiene, Chomsky, Weblog, Alcohol

I think our dear friend Pete linked to this image once, and I saved it because somehow it seemed to resonate with Superblog!!'s mission. Except we do drink a lot of alcohol, sometimes.

I... I don't really have anything to say at the moment. I'm still upset about Katie Holmes standing me up.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Today's Photo: Death

Ehh.. This is a skull. The photo is from the inside of this church. Skulls are necessary. We all have one.

16,000 Superblog!! Fans Cry During Orgasm

Remember last Tuesday, when we celebrated 15,000 hits? Well, that was NOTHING. I SPIT on 15,000 hits. 15,000 hits make me SICK. You see, a minute ago we broke sixteen thousand hits. Check this counter if you don't believe me:

As tradition demands, the celebratory image was stolen from some website. Which got me thinking. Why don't we have fans who send in pics they made to celebrate our greatness? (Okay, so we did get one fan drawing, once.) Is it because we heap abuse over you all the time, for instance by calling you ASSHOLES? Well, if that's the case, you know what I have to say about that? ASSHOLES! (Ha! You walked right into that one, didn't you?)

Where was I? Oh yeah: Stay out of my booze!

Superblog!! - Let it Bleed

Katie Holmes Stood Me Up

Bitch! Last night I was supposed to go on a date with Katie Holmes, star of such movies as Muppets from Space and Batman Begins (10 minutes of which are available here), and acting girlfriend for Tom Cruise (think Lisa Marie for Jacko).

And as I understood it, Sara and her slutty sister Tiffany would also partake, presumably resulting in a Weekend of Carnality.

Well, you know how it went. I spent the evening in the company of Sammy and Steve and alcohol, and none of the girls even called.

In retaliation, I vow to destroy their careers.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Today's Photo: Steve-O

I assume that all you motherfuckers are anxiously awaiting something to happen at Superblog!! Well, the joke's on you because here at the Superblog!! offices we are totally cool with it. Unlike you guys we have a life and we spend it watching the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Also we drink Cognac shoplifted from the Ålandsfärja. As you might remember Sammy gave it lots of credit but Koala thinks it's cool too.


The Crew

Friday, May 27, 2005

Today's Photo: Ganja Jesus

Ganja Jesus was painted like a thousand years ago by drunken Swedes when the buffalos still roamed the plains of lots of places. This painting tells us what I have known for a long time. Jesus was stoned all day long and for good reasons.

1. The Bible says that Ganja is good stuff.

Ganja is also seen by Rastafarians as the herb of life mentioned in the Bible. Rastafarians use of ganja is justified by the following Psalms 104:14 that says, "He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle and herb for the service of man, that he may bring forth food out of the earth." Rastafarians also say it was found growing at the grave of King Solomon in the Bible.

2. People in the (un)holy land were as crazy then as they are now so He sort of needed something to put up with all the stupidity. Crazy Jews, crazy Arabs, crazy Italians...

Go in peace now and don't forget to take the Bible Poop Quiz.

Three Cheers for Chapman!

Today we celebrate the birthday of Superblog!! fan Moocko Chapman. I forgot to send him a birthday card, so instead he gets some digital pie!

Moocko is a decent fellow who just wants to be liked, but for some reason bad things seem to happen to him all the time. For instance, there is something about the little creep that inspires, nay, demands verbal abuse. He manages to enrage me on an almost daily basis, and you know me - I'm not the kind of guy who loses his temper easily.

The Moockster's hobbies include stalking, treason, and stupidity. He has few, if any, friends. My guess is he'll spend this day alone and in tears. But surely he'll get some comfort from the vast honor of being mentioned on Superblog!!

Superblog!! - Making People Happy

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Today's Photo: Rune Stone

Behold! The oldest blog in Sweden! The Instastone or the Rök stone (the Smoke stone) as some call it has some cool entries about war and death and if you're really really interested you can learn more here.

There have been numerous speculations written about the stone and its purpose. The most common include:
Varinn carved the stone only to honour his lost son. The inclusion of mythical passages was a tribute from fantasy. There is strong evidence to support this view, not the least being the fact that Thor is referenced; this use of a deity in this context is quite conceivably a prefiguration of what was to later become a common practice (anterior to Christianity), where graves were frequently inscribed with runic dedications such as þórr vigi, "may Thor protect you".

I bet that one day there will be similar speculations about Superblog!! How to interpret our mythical passages? What was our purpose? What was our problem?

Tom Cruise is Very, Very Gay

Movie star Tom Cruise (you know, you saw him in Endless Love - playing the character of "Billy" - and Days of Thunder) has finally been conclusively revealed as homosexual. It happened on Oprah. Apparently Cruise was "acting crazy" to indicate how much he enjoys fucking Katie Holmes.

However, the plan backfired since he acted out his emotions in a manner which experts have confirmed is closely linked to homosexuality. Any day now, Cruise is expected to publicly admit that he's gay, as well as a lousy actor. Superblog!! applauds his braveness in finally coming out, and would like to use this forum to offer Katie Holmes a shoulder to cry on. Let's meet up in Linköping on Saturday night, Katie. (Friday I'm watching the last few episodes of Oz.)

More images in link. (Via the Beat.)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Kerry's Kostume Komic

Here's something very strange and a little frightening:

Kerry's Kostume Komic has developed as a natural extension of what I have been doing on the web up until now.

For a year and a half I have posted pictures of me wearing my various lycra costumes in a variety of poses. But after awhile this has become a been-there-done-that activity.

I wanted to do something different. Something with a story and characters. And thus came the idea for doing a photo comic.
Photo comics are called fumetti with a fancy word. Kerry is "a straight, male crossdresser who loves to make and wear lycra costumes along with high heels, wigs, and latex masks which I make myself". I guess everybody needs a hobby.

(Oh, and by the way: if anyone should write comment alluding to John F Kerry, he or she will automatically forfeit his or her life AND owe me five beers. Such are the rules.)

Today's Photo: Ka-Baam !!!!!!

Yeah, that's what I heard when I was watching my semi-daily movie. Some shit-faced or just stupid birdie attacked my window (ka-baam) and almost got him/herself killed. I managed to get the picture above before it recovered and flew away to annoy other people. And the movie? Tonight I enjoyed Four shades of brown which is not a film starring black men and dildos but a high quality Swedish movie. It contains almost no nudity at all, just one scene involving naked people, a funnel and some Kellogg's Frosties. (seriously)
Here's what a Swedish dude said about it over at IMDb.

The closest equivalent in a US movie, I can think of, which then is far weaker in every respect, is the Royal Tenenbaums.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Today's Picture: Dictator

Right now Swedish socialist dictator Göran Persson is debating right wing teddy bear Fredrik Reinfeldt. It's totally obvious that the teddy bear mops the floor with the dictator.

15,000 Superblog!! Fans Will Be Executed At Dawn

Remember a month ago, when we celebrated 10,000 hits? Well, that was NOTHING. I SPIT on 10,000 hits. 10,000 hits make me SICK. Cos today we broke fifteen thousand hits, which is obviously much, much better:

And if each one of you 15,000 fuckers would just contribute a dollar - a fucking dollar! - I could retire and would never have to blog again. (Okay, so I'd have to move to Kenya or somewhere where $15,000 is a lot of money. And of course this assumes that I get everything and my co-blogger Sammy nothing. But that only seems fair. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.)

But you won't. You just take and take and TAKE. Assholes.

In accordance with tradition, I swiped the celebratory image from another website. Thank you, Japanese perverts!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Today's Photo: Fire

This is a typical Swedish fire. We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn

Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones

I watched this movie on television yesterday and thought it was pretty boring and directionless. It contains a lot of "action" sequences in CGI. At first they caused me to yawn, but I soon learned to appreciate them because the scenes with dialogue were worse.

Still, most of the actors (including Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman) do a decent job with an uninspired script and generally sucky dialogue. The only one who's embarrassingly bad is - unfortunately - the guy who plays the lead character, whatever his name is. (I looked it up: Hayden Christensen.) I guess he's an improvement over that poor little boy in the first movie, but that's not saying much.

Anakin's shitty performance would be a problem in almost any other movie, but Star Wars Episode Two isn't about acting. Actually, I'm not sure what it's about. I don't mean just plotwise (something about clones?), but also whatever the fuck it's trying to say. My guess: Nothing whatsoever. This seems to me to be pure entertainment, aimed at children and fat, retarded man-boys. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Questions for the filmmakers: Why was Jar Jar Binks given such a small role in this film? I thought he was HILARIOUS in the first one. (Just kidding.) Why no mention of the midichlorians? I thought they were AWESOME in the first one. (Just kidding.) Whatever happened to Darth Maul? I thought he was... oh, fuck it. BUT. There is one thing that's been bugging me since 1999. Doesn't Yoda look too young in these new movies? If he's 900 years old in Empire, shouldn't he be, like, 870 here? So why has he changed so much?

Other than that, this movie was AWESOME. I give it two Michael Keatons out of five.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Today's Photo: Howard Shore

Time to raise my nerd status a little bit. Last year I went to London to see the LOTR symphony conducted by Howie. It was very good.

So, all-in-all, another big success for Howard Shore and the orchestra, with many satisfied, even ecstatic, fans from all over the country and even outside the UK very glad indeed that they'd made the trip to 'the big city'.

Since I am a man of great personal wealth we had box seats and besides from taking that picture I think I was in spitting range from Mr Shore himself but I easily restrained myself. Would never dream about doing such a thing against such a nice man.

Howard Shore is a very nice man [...]

I was also afraid that the real hardcore fans would have eaten me alive.

The Crying Game

Gah! Tomorrow is monday so here's something I thought was FUN FUN FUN!! Different people eating different stuff while crying over different things. My personal favorite is Will. (Well, I haven't watched all of the crying videos, but he cries for a good reason)

What he's eating:Exotic Berry wine cooler, chips
What he's crying about:Not convinced by Anakin's turn to the dark side

(hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

Brainstorming Session in the Superblog!! Offices, Part 3 ??

I guess not, but had it been true then I would have been Saddam and Koala would have been Al. I was just in the mood to do my part in spreading fake Saddam pictures. The genuine poster boy is found here and on a million other pages.

Brainstorming Session in the Superblog!! Offices, Part 2

Remember yesterday, when you got to see an artistic impression of the daily creative process in Superblog!! Studios? Well, here we are again, with another glimpse behind the curtain of the awesome mystery that is Superblog!! Make with the clicky to see a larger pic. The dialogue is in Swedish, but I'm sure you get the gist of it anyway. And if not, well, who cares? (Also, if you experience the left hand side of the image as kind of darkish, you may need glasses.)

I'm the rat, Sammy's the hobo.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Today's Photo: Supercomputer

Today I present to you: World's largest processor fan! Yep, I had what some might call a little cooling problem but everything is fixed now (I'm on drugs) except that I really would like someone to give me a new PC. Anyone? No?!? Screw you guys, I can live with this one for a little longer (after all, we're speaking gigahertz and shit in my case). What annoys me the most, is that Koala (who is very very rich by the way) refuses to throw his old p133 out the window. Please, send at least $250 to:

Koala Mentala
Poste Restante
Big ass Post Office

I'll try to make him use the money wisely.

Brainstorming Session in the Superblog!! Offices

I asked our good friend Walter Sickert to paint a picture of what it looks like when Sammy and I get together to plan the month's Superblog!! entries. It's a psychologic portrait, so the characters don't exactly represent either of us. Rather, they stand for animus and anima, or yin and yang, or whereever I'm going with this. I think Walt did a remarkable job, and look forward to working with him again in the future. Thanks, Walt!

Friday, May 20, 2005

Unfortunate Choice of Logo

Boing Boing also points to this photo.

Jar Jar Binks Must Die!

Feel free to dance on his grave.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Today's Photo: Pancakes

Oh my God!! It's pancakes! Or is it the skin from the giraffe's back? Whatever. Everything tastes just fine with some whipped cream. Fuck this. I'm cracking under the pressure of blogging. You see, I'm in the middle of the best movie I've ever seen. So...eat pancakes, be happy and prosperous. It's time for me to continue my cinematographic extravaganza.

What's Dead and Floats in a Bowl of Cereal?

Oh, what a sad day. Frank Gorshin, the Riddler in the old Batman TV show, has died at the age of 72. Unlike Jim Carrey in that stupid movie, Gorshin's Riddler was cool and not very annoying.

Superblog!! would like to honor Gorshin with this picture of a pie.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Today's Photo: Happiness in a Bottle

Cachaca!!! I'm speaking about the bottle to the left of the little wine bottles. Bought it in Sao Paulo. Cheap stuff, and strong. Would make an excellent grand prize for our next contest but more likely it will be consumed by me. Any day now...

The most typical spirit drink in Brazil is cachaca, made from distiled sugar cane; alcohoolic grade may reach 50 GL (as much as whisky or tequila). There are cheap cachaca from R$2 a liter (much used by the poor people to booze their problems away) and luxury cachacas of R$100 a liter; cheap cachaca is certain to cause hangover.
Cachaca goes down much smootherly when mixed with lime and sugar; this drink is called caipirinha, much appreciated among Brazilians of all social levels. Replace cachaca with sugar, and the caipirinha becomes caipiroska. Replace the lime with other fruits, and you have caipifrutas, also commonly found in restaurants and clubs.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Today's Photo: DVD-R

The Life Aquatic.

See it because it is really, really, really good.
Five out of five Michael Keaton's.

And five Michael Keaton's for me for writing such a splendid review and for taking that nice blurry picture.

Black People are Laughing at YOU

Some time last year, I made this image (really I just put some text next to a piece of clip art) to prove a point. But now I've forgotten exactly what the point was. Thus, this makes a poor blog entry indeed.

Cheers, Superblog!! fans!

Monday, May 16, 2005

On Popular Demand!! Today's Photo: Ouzo!!

Yippie!! The wasted shall inherit the Earth and they will puke all over it. Ouzo!!!

If you don't like black licorice, you will never like Ouzo. End of story.

Like it??? Bull crap!!! Everybody loves Ouzo. End of story.

Today's Photo: Cancelled!

No photo today. I would never dream about competing with Jar Jar Binks.

Nerds Shall Burn in Hell

Good evening, Superblog!! fans. Or good whatever-it-is -when-you-read-this. You may have heard that a movie called, of all stupid things, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, is about to premiere. Or has it already come out? I don't know.

Anyway, Superblog!! already wrote about this movie a long time ago (in a galaxy far far away hahaha oh shut the fuck up), way before anyone else had heard about it, so I just want to take a minute now to point you in the direction of this review, or whatever it is, cos I think it makes a few interesting points:

Is Star Wars actually a kind of antidote to the pessimism of the post-Vietnam, post-Watergate generation? A movie that allows conservatives to believe in a just war and liberals to believe that resistance can, finally, lead to victory? A movie that reassures both sides that good deeds need not come at the expense of personal happiness? [...] But what, then, is the context of the current trilogy? What is it that compels millions of fans to shell out billions of dollars on tickets and movie-related paraphernalia for three of the worst films to plague theaters in recent memory?
Yeah, you'll have to go read it to find out, I guess.

Bonus! Here's the answer to the question you never dared ask: Do Manga Characters Look "White"?

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Today's Photo: Deadly Threat

Hello all. This be lethal Swedish snake. It threatened me today but I ran away after the photo session. We call it koppar orm. If the snake lived in...Australia, the aboriginals over there should call it magic Copper snake. But since it's from Sweden it's a koppar orm. Not very lethal at all. Very cute. Lives in my back yard. Until I kill it and eat it.

Robin's Big Date

Here's a pretty funny seven-minute superhero comedy starring Justin Long as Robin the Boy Wonder and Sam Rockwell as "the Bat-Man". Quicktime MOV format, circa 20MB. (Link via The Beat.)

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Today's Photo: Ass

Evening to you avid reader. Sweden just lost against the Czech Republic in the world cup hockey tournament.
Shit! Fuck! Anyway, today's photo features Scrooge McDuck proudly showing his ass at our very own Disneyland of Linköping.

It Needs To Be Said So Very Often

Someone sent me the URL to this image and I thought it was potentially quite useful in online conversations. But later, when I wanted to use it, the pic was gone! So I figured I had to make it available here on Superblog!!, as a public service.

Wing's World

Learn it. Love it. Live it.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Today's Photo: King

Looky, looky, a Swedish King! It's Carl XIV Johan. He was also called King Schnapps since he encouraged the Swedish farmers to produce a lot of vodka instead of just growing potatoes. The mighty statue is placed in Norrköping. That's a town north of Linköping where people are dumb and ugly. But that's a story for another day. More info on King Schnapps can be found here.

Carl Johan proceeded to take his forces across the Swedish-Norwegian border and after a short war the Norwegians agreed to elect Carl XIII as king with Carl Johan as his successor. Carl XIII died in 1818 and Carl Johan now became king of both Sweden and Norway.

Norway is a country west of Sweden where people are dumb and ugly. Except for Runar. He's very fucking dumb and ugly.