Thursday, September 29, 2005

Britney's Ugly Baby Hungers for Human Flesh, Scientists Say

Aaaand that's the third one. Three truly excellent blog entries in one evening. You know, I think we can all agree that the last week has been a high point in Superblog!!'s long and glorious history, and these last three entries were the pudding on the cake (or whatever). Surely it would be pushing my luck to try and top them?

Thus, I won't try. Instead, I will depart for a few days, leaving you once more in the capable and sweaty hands of my uncle, Sammy.

But if everything goes according to plan, I'll be back next week.

Keep it real, kittens!

What the Fuck are You Smiling About, Carla Gugino?


Shit! Me Forgot to Blog!

The problem: my mind, it's so full of stuff. Also I have stuff to do. You will hear about this stuff eventually, maybe. (No!) Thank you for your concern. Especially Goo, I guess.

But just for this, I vow to blog ten times today. This day. Today! It will be awesomeness incarnate.

No, wait. Three times. That's more than enough. And this one counts.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Where's Koala?

Has anybody seen him? Is he dead?

Three koalas were still clinging to the branches of one tree almost devoid of leaves.
A dead koala was found hanging from a branch and more carcasses were scattered on a dirt track.
"This is disgraceful," Mr Martin said.

Former super villain Rudolph, responsible for fucking up my broadband connection, bragged today about fucking up Koala's connection aswell.... Maybe he should be put on our death list again?

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Photo #57: Sammy's Fire. Dang!

Koala is slacking off, most likely because he's preparing for his departure to the northern parts of Sweden. He will stay there for like 15 years and we all know that this might be the end to Superblog!! Anyway!! Tonight Koala was responsible for blogging and since he made a no show I made that piece of art. If you're using it commercially, please let us know.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Photo #56: Trainspotting #5

Begbie.... I like him. For your convenience that lank gives away the ending but what do I care?
Goodnight now.

Francis Begbie is an aggressive pit bull terrier, a monstrous, brawling hard man ready to explode at any moment, at anyone, for any reason.
The slight-framed Robert Carlyle seemed an odd choice as this violent sociopath but his mini-psycho, brimming with bravado, makes the character all the more frightening. Begbie isn't afraid to test his fighting prowess against the largest of opponents. "Begbie didn't do drugs, he did people," says Renton.

Photo #55: Trainspotting #4

C'mon, give it another go.

Photo #54: Trainspotting #3

Eat me.

Photo #53: Trainspotting #2

Hey! You understand that this is photograph no 2, right? 'Cause you're not fucking stupid are you?

Photo #52: Trainspotting #1

I watched Trainspotting tonight. Again. I have never tried heroin so in order to compensate for that I will post lots of pictures from Trainspotting. Quantity before quality is my modus operandi you know....

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Today's Math Problem in Swedish

Yeah, I went to university for about a billion years*. I studied every subject known to man, and some I invented myself. But I didn't learn much, because I spent my days scribbling. I'm the master scribbler. Here, presented for your edification, is a math problem I scribbled on a piece of paper. Paper is good for scribbling. The math problem is in Swedish, the language of champions. If you're a fan of Superblog!!, I'm sure you'll find out what it says somehow.

*I'm still young, though. Honestly.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Superblog!! Back to Dashboard Help Sign Out

That sums up my feelings for tonight. Really. Sometimes blogging is way too much hard work.

Sometimes I run Sometimes I hide sometimes I'm scared of you But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy, uh-uh Everytime I am alone I wonder why

That song makes me cry and stuff. It's mostly stuff nowadays. Yeah.... but luckily for me Swedish socialists are funny most of the time. Like yesterday when Bosse Ringholm (also known as the human parrot) said something new.

Sweden's deputy prime minister faced calls to step down on Tuesday for calling the police "bloody lazy" in a conversation with an aide that was overheard by a journalist who had just interviewed him.
Bosse Ringholm complained police were poor at catching shopkeepers running illegal slot machines.
"It is not so difficult for the local police to go in and check it, but they don't. They are so bloody lazy!" Ringholm said to the aide after failing to hang up his telephone properly following an interview with TV4.
He was recorded calling one unnamed Stockholm policeman an "idiot" and, when the aide commented that police do not take burglaries seriously, said: "They prefer doing nothing because then they don't risk making a mistake."

I shall try that strategy when blogging. Perhaps.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Photo #68,503: Magical Super-Horse

Pardon me for jumping ahead a little bit. This picture will be taken by my esteemed co-blogger, "Uncle Sammy" (his real name is unpronounceable by human tongues), on Christmas Eve, 3006. More than a thousand years from now! During this particular era, Uncle will be working as an undercover photographer for the extraglobal newspaper The Earthly Fuck-Stick, trying to expose weird secret government experiments. And what could be weirder than a magical super-horse?!

Just to be clear: I did not steal this image from a guy or girl called Dziedzic. That's just a nasty rumor, spread by one of Superblog!!'s many enemies. Possibly YOU!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Photo #51: The Flame in Flames

Good evening. This will be the final installment in my fire photographing trilogy. It all started back in May with this typical Swedish fire . The damn good sequel involving more action was published eight days later: hell on earth. The houses burning here is a place called Flamman which in English would be: the Flame. I think that's funny.

What is F.R the flame?In Linköping, that a number exists neighbourhoods that contain rooms that are intended for students. The biggest is Ryd, Lambohov, Irrblosset and of course the flame. Each such neighbourhood has a so called confidence councils whose information is to safeguard the domiciled comfort in the area. You that lives on the flame can easily to become member in Förtroenderådet the flame through solving a member card, the so called Flammankortet. Many of your has without doubt both got and moreover used this when you will down on the association's own pub and disco that lies in the cellar during input 22.

It's almost some sort of a fraternity house but there are no Greek letters on it... We don't have like fraternity houses in Sweden? Anyway, that was my trilogy. Thank you for paying attention.

PS. Nobody died, which is good since students are human beings. DS.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Hey, 50,000 Visitors! That's Not Dog Shit!

In fact, it's not any kind of shit! It's gold! Pure gold! We're golden! You're golden! Everything's golden! Pure love! Electricity in the air! I feel good! Do you feel good? Look at the picture! It's poop! Funny! How funny poop is! You know what else is funny? That at least a few hundred people will come to Superblog!! today expecting something great (as usual), and what will they get for their trouble?


Saturday, September 17, 2005

Famous People I Have Met

Today I found out that I know one of the participants in the breathtaking Swedish reality show Expedition Robinson! I haven't seen her in many many years and back then she was....somewhat strange. I translated a few things she told about herself and it goes like this:

Once, I willed go to Stockholm and to see Simply ridded. I went up to Stockholm and took drum electricity banana to Globen, but when I came forward labeled I that must have read the text on my ticket little careless for the each Simple Minds that willed perform. Then, I began to cry.

Very close to reality I must say, only better. Here's one of my first posts translated:

IDG hostar from itself a reflection over São Tome and their. pc decision even which evidently is used hårt of Africa's porn factory owners. A thorough review shows that not only pornografiker is tempted of. the pc domain!!
The one!
Advice (free of charge) on free and easy urlar is and!!

That's one rocking translator tool. Now I'll do all my posts in Swedish and run them through that amazing tranz-a-lizer! (FYI, I'll never see that Robinson movie and once I met this famous guy.)

Friday, September 16, 2005

Cock Boat Revelations

From the ReadMe file for the font "Cock Boat", linked to in a recent entry:

Apparently, the phrase "Here comes the cock boat!" was used in an off-color Dilbert parody online somewhere, and Rogue had found the term charming.

That's true. Well, I don't know about Rogue finding it charming because I don't know who the hell Rogue is. But the first part's true. The strips were created by Tristan Farnon for one of his ambitious Leisuretown comics in the late 1990s (at least, I remember reading them back then). They were also published on rotten dot com, but taken down after Dilbert's syndicate sent a cease-and-desist letter (and then another one). Farnon discusses this in an interview with The Comics Journal. There were a bunch of strips but the relevant one is posted above. All the strips keep popping up here and there.

However... I didn't have the comic strip in mind when I carved "KUK BÅT" (Cock Boat in Swedish) into the beer bottle on the way to Åland. I just thought the boat sucked. (And no, I wasn't drunk - yet. The boat had yet to set sail so the beer was just the third or fourth I'd had that day. Sammy was a beer ahead, I think. I realize that makes Superblog!!'s creators sound like alcoholics, but, you know, you only travel to Åland once in your life. Or, at most, a few times a year.)

And just so you know, here is how you draw a basic cock boat:

\8=========D/ COCKBOAT

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Uh Oh! Gotta Go!

Howdy y'all! It came to my attention that Dubya needed Condi's permission before he could shake the snake/point percy at the porcelain/water the dragon. So what? There's nothing wrong with being polite as long as you never hesitate one second before blowing up other countries.

At one point during the Council's debate on international security and UN reform, Mr Bush picked up a pencil and wrote a short note to Condoleezza Rice, the Secretary of State.
"I think I may need a bathroom break? Is this possible?" the note read.
The photograph, taken by a Reuters photographer, was widely reposted and discussed on the internet - including a piece on the influential Drudge Report under the title "Bush Needs to Go Potty".

I also like that red fraggle! It reminds me of Koala during his commie days. Die commie Koala! Die!

Just kidding!

PS. Golda Meir once said: A leader who doesn't hesitate before he sends his nation into battle is not fit to be a leader.

Haha! I just proved you wrong Golda!! Haha! Try again!! DS.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Superblog!! Rewards Its Flunkies

As predicted by Zenmonki, our friend Agfe is the first (and most likely the last) recipient of the Ultimate Superblog!! Flunky Award. I know I speak for Agfe when I say that this is an incredible honor for him and the greatest thing ever in the history of everything.

The reasons for this vast honor can be found here. I'm not happy with him referring to it as a temporary name change, though. That's just not cool. Agfe, take the step and make this a permanent change in your life. It's the path to a brighter future, and you know it.

For those of you scratching your heads, the rest of the sordid story can be found in the comments sections to this and this and this blog entry (Did I miss any?). To those among you who feel that you're the Ultimate Superblog!! Flunky, and you've been unjustly passed over, I say... Try harder!

Say, here's a gallery of lesbian movie scenes.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Photo #50: Cock Boat!

Photo #50!! You know, I already wrote this post but my computer just died on me!! Haha! What a surprise!
I will buy a new one. Tomorrow. Or next month. Like I just said, I took that picture and Koala scribbled some BS on a beer bottle. I'm very good with a camera and Koala is outstanding when it comes to scribbling. The scribbles say: COCK BOAT. But in Swedish!!!!! I guess it refers to the cock boat of death also known as the ship of death also known as the great big white Cinderella of the seas.

Life is indeed full of surprises. Cock Boat seems to be a popular font. For your typing pleasure, download Cock Boat now. I know I will!

Monday, September 12, 2005

I Love You, Adolf Hitler!

No!! I don't! I just put this up to take some of the edge off this post. In a "two wrongs make a right" kind of way. (It also goes nicely together with this stupidity.) You get the idea, right?

Did it work, or have we just upset even more people?

The Greatest Man Alive

To be all scientific about it I tried to google some before posting.

Bush best = 99,600,000 hits.
Bush worst = 25,800,000 hits.

What can I say? Obviously Google supports my hypothesis. Bush is the greatest man alive.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Tell Me This Image Doesn't Freak You Out

It sure froke out me. Like Gay Batman, Tom Cruise (also probably gay) is a recurring character in the glorious stage-show that is Superblog!!, but I'm too lazy to list examples.

Remember when we used to post semi-pornographic Tara Reid pics? Now it's all gayness. Is Superblog!! a latent homosexual blog? Should it be allowed to adopt?

Happy Anniversary, Usama bin Laden!

Just kidding. I don't like you, Usama. If you're reading this and think you have found an ally in Superblog!!, think again! We will not aid you in any way, shape or form. I even crossed you off our Christmas card list.

Speaking of lists, I wonder if Superblog!! just got put on some kind of FBI watchlist. Assuming we weren't already on it.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

«Call a friend, call Superblog!! sexy smart.»

Or how about:

«Every Superblog!! fucking awesome has a story.»
«Can you feel it? weird cool Superblog!!»
«There's only one true Superblog!! fucking !»

Make your own cool Superblog!! slogans at

You could also try this one. Haha, another perfect steal from Sara.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Lick It Up!

Yeah, I did what I promised to do. I laid down....and watched a movie. The Grudge by Takashi Shimizu. Now I'm feeling kinda scared for everything Japanese. Japanese people are scary looking. All of them. Especially the kids. Sorry for being prejudiced towards the great nation of Japan but since everything I said was true I don't think it matter much. Just in case, here's a link to one of them tolerance sites.

There will be no linking to tolerance without linking to some horrific satanist music.

Don’t wanna wait ’til you know me better
Let’s just be glad for the time together
Life’s such a treat and it’s time you taste it
There ain’t a reason on earth to waste it
It ain’t a crime to be good to yourself
Chorus:Lick it up, lick it up, it’s only right now¨
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh yeah
Lick it up, lick it up, come on, come on
Lick it up, lick it up

Because of the scary Japanese folks starring in it, I give the Grudge four Keatons out of five.

Super-Sexy, Ultra-Hot, Mega-Gay, All-Man Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder

This was widely reported a few weeks ago, and I boycotted it because the news were simply everywhere. But I suddenly realized a lot of Superblog!! visitors don't read the news (some don't even visit any other websites), so here goes:

DC Comics has ordered a New York gallery to remove pictures which show Batman and Robin kissing and embracing.
The Kathleen Cullen Fine Arts gallery was told it would face legal action unless it removed watercolours of the superhero by artist Mark Chamberlain.

Of course, this was the best thing DC could ever have done if they wanted homoerotic Batman art to get free publicity. You can see some of Chamberlain's work here.

Batman's sexlife is, of course, a recurring theme on Superblog!!. Previous entries have included:

Photo #49: Outdoor Swimming Pool on The Hotel Rooftop

I am sailing, I am sailing!!!! Not really. I am posting this photo from this fine hotel in Rio. Once upon a time I was swimming in that pool (It's a swimming pool!!!) but now I'm here in Sweden where things are about to rot and die. I'm not feeling very well.... so I better lay down now. Bye!!!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Shit!! Fuck!! Glue!!

Merde! This happened again. When all the gluing is done there will be blogging like never before. Good night friends and assholes.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

My Favorite Realtor: Mr Richard Head

I don't know him, but I like his name. I wonder if he was teased at school?

There are of course other people in the world similarly named, including this slightly grumpy-looking professor. In fact, that guy seems so stern I'm almost afraid to mention him here on Superblog!! (But he kinda looks like that guy in CSI... you know who I mean. He had a bit part in Primary Colors as well.) It's possible he'll be offended and try to sue Superblog!! into oblivion, or at least complain to Blogger and have us removed from their server. Or maybe he's an easy-going guy with a great sense of humor. You never know!

Still... could this be the end of Superblog!!?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Poop Blaster!!

I only have one link. Shoot some poop.
Now, what does that link have in common with Superblog!!?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Suck My Links

Listen, kids, I'm just gonna throw out some links and you're gonna eat them up. Deal?

Swimming Sperm (movie clip)

Fahrenheit 9-11 for free (the entire movie)

German Postcard of Batman and His Little Bat-Buddy (sexy picture)

Abandonia: Abandonware DOS games (for the nerd in you. Found by Sammy)

Buffy's swearing keyboard (courtesy of the Mook, I think?)

The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife (ditto)

Biblical principles in managing God's money (for the Jebus in you)

Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia (see for instance the War on Terra)

Dubya Bin Laden (because someone complained there's not enough politics on Superblog!! nowadays)

A funny joke (via the TCJ board)

Really boring movie reviews from Statler and Waldorf (I mean it, this link sucks!)

The Other Turing Test (learn something you didn't know)

Now, what do all these links have in common?

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Almighty Lumberjacks of Death

Soon the world will flames. I'm speaking of the time (any year now) when Superblog!! controls all and everything. The concept of global domination has long been a popular theme in the (glorious) history of Superblog!! Until then, why not start a rockband?

1. Name your band!

Anal Genocide
Curious George and the Homophobes
Illy Lonford & The Pornographic Fireheads

2. Play that funky music.

3. End in flames.

Word Verification: The Pussy's Choice

We were getting a lot of comment spam so, as you may have noticed, I've recently added word verification:

What this does is to prevent automated systems from adding comments to your blog, since it takes a human being to read the word and pass this step.

Or a very clever monkey. Anyway, as you've also maybe seen, even legitimate commenting has dropped, possibly because word verification is a hassle. For placing this additional burden upon Superblog!! fans, Lamar Owens (the man responsible for 95 percent of all comment spam, according to the FBI) will surely burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity.

Also, did you know that masturbation makes you old before your time?

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Uncle Sammy And The Chocolate Factory

Now I've seen it! Lots of squirrels in it! Without the squirrels it would have got four Keatons but because of all the squirrels Superblog!! gives Charlie and the chocolate factory five Keatons out of five.

The Michael Jackson pallor. The unnaturally white teeth. The smile stretched with insincerity. Johnny Depp's deliciously demented take on Willy Wonka, the candy man of Roald Dahl's book, demands to be seen. Director Tim Burton surrounds Depp with miraculous visuals of spun sugar and creeping menace. Their missionary lunacy is a treat for twisted children of all ages.

For your information I'd like to mention that the character that I identify myself most with is little Augustus. I eat a lot of chocolate and I have a creepy accent. I'm not very fat though.

Photo #48: One Funky DJ

This is the DJ of a place called FUN CLUB aboard the ship of death and while you are busy imagining how fun such a place can be I'm gonna watch Charlie and the chocolate factory. I'll be back in two hours.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Koala Takes the Blogaround Challenge!

The Clandestine Critic points out that Superblog!!, nominally a comics blog (I know, I didn't believe it either!), has had very little to do with comics in quite a while. To correct this oversight, I'm following his example and taking the Blogaround Challenge (it's sort of like the Pepsi Challenge for nerds):

I'm throwing the gauntlet down. If you are a genuine comic book blogger, you ought to be able to spare one post for this challenge. [...] Go to the Comics Weblog Update-A-Tron 3000 and click through to at least ten comic book blogs. You can do more, but ten is the minimum. I would also stick with blogs that have been updated within the last couple of weeks, but that's not a hard and fast rule. As another loose rule, go for blogs you haven't visited before, if you can. The goal of this challenge is to meet new bloggers and see new stuff.

Got it. Here are Superblog!!'s ten picks:

1. Fanboy Rampage
Fuck, I fail immediately! Because it changes the title slightly every day, I accidentally picked a blog I visit all the time. It's a place to snark about comics.

2. Adlo! Novelti Librari
What the...? I don't get it. I'm sure it's fine, though.

3. Trash Heap
I like it because it led me to this exchange, which demonstrates that Rob Schneider is an idiot and Roger Ebert is kind of cool (in an uncool way).

4. DC Conspiracy
This blog angered me, because you know how I feel about squirrels!

5. Noticias Universeo Marvel
Again, not in English. My favorite part is this trading card. "Kang is not unique." Says it all. You're not so fucking special, Kang!

6. Innocent Bystander
I'm a busy man, so I didn't have time to read this blog. But I did check out the owner's Amazon wish list, and he seems like a decent guy. At least he doesn't wish for any Nazi paraphernalia.

7. Trusty Plinko Stick is doctorin' the TARDIS
This blog sounded promisingly weird, but sadly it seems that there was just a typo or something in the title. The owner asks to be sued, since it isn't September. But now it is!

8. PV Comics
Comical books in bloggy form. My favorite strip is about a Penis Cake (unless I misread it). The concept appeals to me.

9. TwentySevenLetters (A)
I think it's impressive that so many of these blogs have their own domain name. But this site's a bad example because it's much more than a blog. Anyway, why is Superblog!! still hosted on Blogspot? How weak!

10. comikado!
Awesome! We end the excursion with yet another foreign-language blog. I can read a little German, so I understand some of it, but not everything, If you want to brush up on your German, I heartily recommend this blog.

Wow, that was hard, but now it's over and I feel a better man for having taken the Blogaround Challenge! Are you impressed? If so, indicate this by offering yourself to me sexually. (Girls generally preferred.)

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Please join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

The Face of An Anal-Copulator

This is Phelps, the sodomite. Recently he or one of his man lovers wrote some kinky stuff about the Swedish royal family.

The King looks like an anal-copulator, & his grinning kids look slutty & gay! You jackass Swedes just don't get it. Once you have laws to chill Bible preaching, we don't give a rat's tutu whatever else you do or say. You are drippings from the Devil's own penis - a veritable sperm bank for Satan's queers. "To me belongeth vengeance and recompence...for the day of their calamity is at hand." Deut. 32:35.

That's almost as interesting as the fact that Phelps looks quite a lot like the reverend dude from Poltergeist II. That must mean something, right?

Bonus lank: Discussion about Phelps and Sweden over at where I, Sammy the neocon, spend most of my free time.