Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Future Events Such as These Will Affect You in the Future



A 1967 vision of 1999. Email! Internet shopping! Multiple flatscreens! Husband paying wife's bills!

Snopes has some info:

The video clip shown above - an excerpt from a 1967 Philco-Ford production entitled "Year 1999 A.D.," starring a young Wink Martindale - did a fairly good job of anticipating some ways (if not the specific forms) in which technology might be used in daily life more than three decades in the future. Concepts such as "fingertip shopping," an "electronic correspondence machine," and others envisioned in this video anticipate several innovations that became commonplace within a few years of 1999: e-commerce, webcams, online bill payment and tax filing, electronic funds transfers (EFT), home-based laser printers, and e-mail.

Via a commenter on this article on the AV Club.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Photo 161? Here I am!


I am high

Monday, July 28, 2008

Gugino Pinup



What did I tell you? Via Ain't It Cool and others, here's James Jean's Vargas-style pinup of Carla Gugino as Sally Jupiter (as seen in the Watchmen trailer).

You know, if someone would have told me back in the late '80s that one day Carla Gugino would star in a film adaptation of my then-favorite graphic novel, I would have said, "Wow! Who's Carla Gugino? And why make a film out of Watchmen? What a silly idea."

Friday, July 25, 2008

Aronofsky on RoboCop IV


Here's something: Darren Aronofsky, director of Pi and Requiem for a Dream and The Fountain (also co-screenwriter of the submarine thriller Below, which I watched a while ago but probably haven't gotten around to reviewing in a DVD 2008 post yet) will direct a new RoboCop movie.

The original film, released in 1987, was directed by Paul Verhoeven and written by Edward Neumeier and Michael Miner, who both went on to do pretty much nothing of interest. (Okay, so Neumeier wrote the Starship Troopers adaptation, also directed by Verhoeven, but that's pretty much it.) The sequels were written by Freaky Frank Miller, which is fitting considering I re-watched all the movies recently and realized that the first one seems very influenced by Miller's 1986 Batman graphic novel, The Dark Knight Returns (and some other stuff, like Judge Dredd. Here's a picture of the Judge and a friend:



). Nevertheless, the first sequel sucked hard, and the next one even harder, and Miller swore off Hollywood until Robert Rodriguez tricked him into making Sin City. Sin City is, of course, most famous as a film Carla Gugino appeared in. My next SUPERBLOG!! post will be about Carla Gugino.

Yeah, that's what I had to say about RoboCop. The image at the top is from the comics adaptation of Miller's original screenplay. It's not very good either, but at least it's better than the movies.

Tariff Reform Law

Oh noes! Unky Sammy has gone on hiatus! However will I cope all on my own?! Here is a photograph of Sambo and his dog and some child he's trying to feed to the dog:

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Hiatus !


I'll go up north to visit my inner self for a week or so and I am not so sure if I'll be able to blog as much as I'm used to. Bear with me. I'll be back before you know it. Come come a la!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Jeff is Better Than You



I had to go away for a bit and then I visited one of my worst enemies for a few days and then I've been busy with important stuff but soon my Deadly Summer Vacation will end and SUPERBLOG!! will be back, better than ever and with 150-175 percent more Goldblum. And if I'm just full of shit and it isn't, well, who the fuck cares?

Ma, I feel the old mischief creeping upon me awful strong. You'd better give me a licking.
- Buster Fucking Brown

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

When Jeff Taps, He's Happy



Enjoy the smell of Simply Jeff Goldblum. From The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, which was a television program of wildly varying quality, I seem to remember. But I'm old now, and it's getting harder to remember stuff. (Link via Abhay Khosla, who writes like an angel sings.)


SUPERBLOG!!: Just Another Crappy Link Blog Nowadays, Apparently.

Fun #13: Daring Thief

Good evening. Here's a story from your local newspaper about a daring thief who stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants. He learned that crime doesn't pay when the frisky creatures gave him a vasectomy.





Fun: Every single day from now until I grow bored of it, I post a picture that will make you laugh. If it doesn't make you laugh, you will get your money back. If you don't get your money back, I will post a new picture the following day. Such is the SUPERBLOG!! QUALITY WARRANTY.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Little Lake



Fun #12: Computer Humor

OMG what could be more Fun than computer humor? Here are some more images I found on the Internet a few years back. If any of them make you laugh, you have to pay me ten dollars. If any of them make you cry, I owe you ten dollars.







Okay so maybe it wasn't very Fun but I'll post something better tomorrow.

Clinton vs Obama

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hush!



This is How it Will Work from Now



Koala, my best littlest friend will provide you with long somewhat readable posts and I will continue to upload pointfull and pointless little pictures from my cell phone. GOOD FOR U EH ???? In your faces !!! hahahahahaha!

ps. Obama is a traitor. You better believe it. ds.

Share the fun!!


La la

Haha!?


Yeah

Sunday, July 13, 2008

KoalaCam #31: Admiral Ackbar Wrapped in Plastic



I had a birthday recently and got some presents from some people. Probably the cheap-ass-est but possibly the most thought-out present was a tiny figurine (or whatever, I don't know the technical term) of Admiral Ackbar from the Star Wars movies. (Star Wars sucks!!) Actually it turns out the Admiral was only in Return of the Jedi, in which he was portrayed by world famous thespian Timothy M. Rose. (I'm kidding, he's totally unknown.)

Anyway. I just wanted you to see him. I keep him in a bag to protect him from dogs.

SUPERBLOG!!: A daily blog

Sunday, July 06, 2008

The Year of Definitely Not Watching Any DVDs: May, 2008 (Part 3)



Oops. We're well into July at this point and I said that The Year of Definitely Not Watching Any DVDs: May, 2008 (Part 2), posted just about a month ago, was "To be continued..."

Rest assured I watch, like, a couple of movies every day and I almost always jot down some quick notes on them, so I can write them up on SUPERBLOG!! later. I just never get around to it. That's partly because I know a fair number of our readers actively dislike these posts, and most of the rest just don't care one way or the other. Pearls before swine.

But what do I care? This blog is for me, not for you. So here are some thoughts on all the rest of the movies I watched in May:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001)
Gaymericans call it "the Sorcerer's Stone" because they are totally uncultured slobs. (I can say "Gaymericans" because many of my best friends are Gaymericans. But if anyone else were to use the term, it would be offensive.) Here's what I want to know: Why is this children's movie 2½ hours long? I thought today's children all had short attention spans? (And what's with all the Wikipedia links? It needs to stop.) I was mildly entertained for about the first half, but then it grew kind of boring. And what's with awarding Gryffindor fuckers all those extra last-minute points? Slytherin was robbed!

Hud (1963)
Paul Newman is the sort of man we all strive to be, but his family doesn't respect him. Moral: You can't please everyone.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Chris Columbus directed this one as well and it was about the same level of quality. Features Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart. Even longer than the first one; almost fatally overlong. Moral: It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Directed by Alfonso Cuarón, of Children of Men fame (reviewed by me here somewhere). Much better-looking, darker, and generally better acted. Yeah, better in just about every way than the first two installments.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Nearly as entertaining as Azkaban, although the storyline is slightly muddled and parts seem rushed - obviously from trying to compress a long book into a 150 minute movie. I think this is generally a problem with these movies - the filmmakers don't dare to delete too much of the novels outright so instead they leave just a little bit of everything in. Anyway: this one is darker still, which is good, and features further improved acting from the kids (the adults are great as always).

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Pretty good, considering nothing much happens. It's a transitional movie. Directed by David Yates, who will apparently do the next couple of movies as well. Different screenwriter (Michael Goldenberg) than the rest of the series. Plenty of underused actors, we barely catch glimpses of Helena Bonham Carter, Maggie Smith, David Thewlis and Alan Rickman. Also: Why does Voldemort have no nose?! Will it be revealed in the last movie that Harry bit it off when he was a baby, and that's why he's so pissed at the Potter family? If so, I sympathize with him, I would be angry too. Fucking nose-biting babies.

(Q: Voldemort has no nose, how does he smell?
A: Awful!)



(Fucking... nose-biting... babies!)

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999)
Direct-to-video "sequel" of the Tarantino/Rodriguez masterpiece. I use "masterpiece" semi-ironically because I don't think it's one of their better movies but compared to this one it almost seems like a masterpiece. It makes little sense, and is mostly crap. Danny Trejo has a small part (in fact, he may be the only actor that's in all three Dusk films) but disappoints. Bruce Campbell and Tiffani Thiessen are also in it - for the first 3 minutes. The camerawork is reminiscent of the Evil Dead movies, and it turns out the director, Scott, Spiegel co-wrote Evil Dead 2. That means something.

From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter (2000)
Somewhere between six or seven times better than Part 2, due largely to Michael Parks supremely cool portrayal of Ambrose Bierce.



(I swiped the pic from this review.)

Akira (1988)
Impressive if greatly abbreviated adaptation of the classic manga. Apparently there's a live-action version on its way too, possibly starring Leo! Moral: Don't experiment on kids. (They have eerie powers.)

Judas Kiss (1998)
Playful thriller about a kidnapping gone wrong, starring Sexy Carla Gugino, directed by her boyfriend. Unconvincing but fun. Synchronicity: Emma Thompson & Alan Rickman are in this and in the Harry Potter films and in a lot of other stuff as well. Okay, so that's weak synchronicity. But still. Check it out. Here they are:



Lost: Season 4 (2008, 13 episodes)
Hey! This is not a movie. So I don't have to review it.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Inappropriate Film/Terror Comparison of the Day



IMDb board commenter terencefisher on the admittedly shitty remake of Sleuth:

The last time I saw something this offensive was September the 11th, 2001.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th of July!



Good day. Something like fifty percent of SUPERBLOG!!'s visitors are Americanos, so I thought it would be a nice gesture to wish them all a very happy Indie Day. The picture above is of course from the movie that inspired the list 40 Things I Learned From ID4 That I Never Knew Before. (But the image was most directly swiped from an article called Will beaming songs into space lead to an alien invasion?) That was a very, very shitty movie.

Fuck. Three years ago.

Maybe it's time to end SUPERBLOG!!? It would be a mercy kill at this point. :-(



UPDATE: Never mind me. I've been saying this for years. SUPERBLOG!! will be with you always. Even to the end of the age.