Monday, May 31, 2010

Bernard Calsong (1803-1845)

If Bernard Calsong hadn't created underwear back in the 1830s, it's not entirely unlikely that we all would be convered from head to toe in piss and shit at this point. Please tell your children about this great inventor and read more on Wikipedia:

And if you enjoy Wikipedia and inventions like underwear, please consider making a donation.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

SPOILER: It is piss

Not Lost, Lost is good. Jack sure likes golden showers. That is his one character flaw. Therefore he had to leave the island for a while. But then he had to go back! But first he had to take a shower, because he STANK. That is how Lost (SPOILERS) ended.

What? When did he take the shower? I don't understand.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Films in Order from Good to Bad, February-March 2010

Something like this, maybe not exactly:

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) (R)
There Will Be Blood (2007) (R)

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) (R)
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Rachel Getting Married (2008) (R)
Moon (2009) (R)
An Education (2009)
Raise the Red Lantern (1991)

Tape (2001)
The Spanish Prisoner (1997)
The Informant! (2009)
Sita Sings the Blues (2008)
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010)
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) (R)

Women in Trouble (2009)
Monsters vs Aliens (2009)
Creepshow 2 (1987)
The Box (2009)

2012 (2009)
The Descent: Part 2 (2009)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Ugo Boncompagni

Happy 448th (or whatever) anniversary of when Ugo was turned into a Pope by God. It was today, on the 14th of May (That rhymes!). They called him the Pop Pope because he listened to popular music while healing the sick. Of course, the music that was popular back in Ugo's day was utter SHIT and wouldn't be very popular today if people were allowed to hear it. Also, while healing the sick may sound like a nice thing to do, historians have been able to prove that it was Ugo himself who gave them the disease in the first place.

Ugo: Disease-spreading popular healer POP pope.

Saturday, May 01, 2010


I'm gonna shoot my disgusting spider-sauce right in your stupid faces. Just you wait and see.

It's May Day today.