Bill Murray Sings Star Wars

via videosift.com

Bill Murray as Nick the Lounge Singer from Saturday Night Live back in the day. Awesome video and audio quality.

Fun #17½: Allah Ackbar!

That's all. Go back to work.

(No. 2 in a series.)

KoalaCam #31: Admiral Ackbar Wrapped in Plastic

I had a birthday recently and got some presents from some people. Probably the cheap-ass-est but possibly the most thought-out present was a tiny figurine (or whatever, I don't know the technical term) of Admiral Ackbar from the Star Wars movies. (Star Wars sucks!!) Actually it turns out the Admiral was only in Return of the Jedi, in which he was portrayed by world famous thespian Timothy M. Rose. (I'm kidding, he's totally unknown.)

Anyway. I just wanted you to see him. I keep him in a bag to protect him from dogs.

SUPERBLOG!!: A daily blog

Best Wikipedia Sabotage Ever

From the Trivia section of the Wikipedia page for Professor Ratigan:

In SuperOobi and His Amazing Friends (Star Wars) Episode VI: Return to the Autobiogeographerm, Shark Skywalker's father, Ratigan Skywalker living in the fiery hot planet, Mustafar. In addition, He battle his son. Sir Shark slice-a-dice his two legs and right arm and he's burning by the fire.

Everybody Loves Kristen Bell

It has been pointed out to me by machine-elves from a higher level of reality that my well-documented and perhaps irrationally strong loathing of NBC's Heroes may be inconsistent with my professed love for Veronica Mars, starring Kristen Bell. Because apparently she's in Heroes too.

Certainly, I would sell my own grandmother for a chance to lick the cheek of Kristen Bell. (My grandmother is dead so I have little use for her. If she were alive I would not sell her.) Wait, that's just creepy. But I was heartbroken when Cy Tolliver bashed her brains in. (Kristen Bell's character in Deadwood, not my grandmother.) But that doesn't mean anything because there are other actors I like in Heroes as well, such as Clea DuVall and that guy from Profit. And Malcolm McDowell remains a favorite of mine, even though probably 98 percent of his filmography is shit.

Plus, as if Bell wasn't firmly enough established as Nerd Princess as it was, she's in Fanboys, the upcoming Star Wars thingie that Darth Weinstein is trying to destroy. And I hate Star Wars almost as much as I hate Heroes.

I don't remember where I was going with this post. But here's the main reason to love Kristen Bell:

[Interviewer:] Are you a typical blonde?
No, because I’m not stupid.

The Year of Watching DVDs, Part 34: Schle Collection + Related

I watched the entire IMDb top 250 list and now I'm watching everything else. All reviews so far.

Hello and welcome to another installment of this insanely popular SUPERBLOG!! feature. This time, it's all about a limited distribution DVD collection I got my hands on, called The Schle Collection. It contains a variety of movies, most of them fairly mediocre (none of them get more than 3 Keatons). But they were still a pleasure to watch! Also, some of the DVDs directly led the way to other movies I wanted to see, which I'll list here, even though they're not part of the Collection proper.

* * * * * * *

Good Plus
Blood Diamond (2006) (repeat): Previously reviewed in Part 17/18.
Kunglig toilette (1986) & Potatishandlaren (1996) (repeat)
Whale Rider (2002): Actress was also in SW3, see bottom of the list.

Good

Blood Work (2002): Eastwood in an oldskool detective story with an 00s sensibility. A tad too many touches of sentimentality and I guess it's pretty implausible, but it's just so NICE. Completely laid back, and most of it takes place in daylight.
Children of Men (2006) (repeat): Previously reviewed in Part 10.
Chocolat (2000) (repeat)
Honogurai mizu no soko kara / Dark Water (2002)
Leende guldbruna ögon (2007) (mini series, 3 episodes)
New Nightmare (1994): Fifty percent Elm Street, fifty percent Scream.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) (repeat)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987): Either the best or the second-best Elm Street.
Ocean's Eleven (2001)
Ocean's Thirteen (2007): Completely ridiculous, but great fun.
This Is England (2006): About a tiny little skinhead. Nicely realized, if surprisingly lightweight.

* * * * * * *

Strong Okay
Babel (2006): I liked it, but I also hated in a little bit. Here are some selections from 1000 thing that i learned watching 'Babel':

30. When a Mexican nanny learns that her charges' mother has been shot, is going into surgery, and may be near death, she will immediately take those children out of the country and render them incommunicado for the next 24 hours, thereby ensuring that (at the very least) she will lose her job.
31. When a tour group of Westerners sees one of their group shot and in life-threatening circumstances, no member of the group will show any regard whatsoever for the well-being of the victim. They will instead leave her to die, citing vague fears about the surroundings and the need to take their medicine.
32. When Morrocan police investigating a shooting encounter persons of interest who try to flee, they will open fire with intent to kill and continue to fire even after the suspects are pinned down, ensuring they will never discover the perpetrator. However, when they eventually get some return fire from a 13-year-old novice shooter, the Morrocan police will cease fire, cower behind cars, and wait for the suspects to surrender.
33. In Morroco, only ambulances can take injured people to hospitals. For some reason, tour buses, police SUVs, and cars will not work.
46) cells phones are just a myth, nobody uses them, actually.
57) don't give marrocans stuff, they WILL sell them
82. When you can't travel 4 hours to a hospital, travel 1 hour to the nearest underdeveloped village and wait there for 10.
92.It's tough to be deprived of hearing, more so than you'd think.

The Hunted (2003)
Wimbledon (2004)

Okay
Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

Beerfest (2006) (repeat): Reviewed in Part 15.
Bullitt (1968): I don't think I get it.
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Coach Carter (2005): I gave it an entire blog post in Part 32!
Cold Mountain (2003)
Dances with Wolves (1990)
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005): Starring Dexter's sister.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981): Pretty much the perfect encapsulation of so many slasher movie clichés. bathing naked in the middle of the night, "I'll be right back", and so on. And you just know that the guy in the wheelchair has to buy it, cos Jason is an equal opportunity killer.
Inspector Morse: The Death of the Self (1992) (TV movie)
Jackass: The Movie (2002)
Lucky Number Slevin (2006): Reasonably entertaining, but annoyingly "clever". The dialogue brings to mind Moonlighting (you know, were everything was said three times). On the plus side, I did learn the word ataraxia.
Ocean's Eleven (1960)
Ocean's Twelve (2004): I dislike Julia Roberts playing herself and all the "coincidences" (Catherine Zeta Jones just happens to be the oops that would be a spoiler).
One Hour Photo (2002)
Prime Suspect 4: Inner Circles (1995) (TV movie)
Secret Window (2004): Slow and less than engaging Stephen King adaptation. It's a little unusual to see an actor of Johnny Depp's caliber do something this bland.
Shall We Dance (2004)
Sweet Home Alabama (2002): Likable romantic comedy. The ending is a foregone conclusion.
Tears of the Sun (2003)

Weak Okay
Firewall (2006)
Gothika (2003): Partly effective thriller that falls apart completely in the last act.

It (1990) (miniseries, 2 episodes): Oh, that fucking clown. Interesting: Image Google for [stephen king it] and you get a suggestion to try [pennywise].

The Passion of the Christ (2004) (repeat): An insane man is brutally tortured for 90 minutes. Is that supposed to be edifying in some way? Competently made, but sick and disgusting. I recommend South Park's "The Passion of the Jew" as a companion piece.

* * * * * * *

Bad
Eight Crazy Nights (2002): Sucky animated feature with Adam Sandler.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003): A very good review.
Friday the 13th (1980): This one too.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985): It's not much of a revenge when it's different people he's harassing, is it? It's good that instead of going the Friday way and just repeating the same plot, they tried for a different approach. It's bad that it's not good.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005): I like the way General Grievous (see picture at the top) looks and moves. That's about it.

My Summer, Part 4: DVDs & Scotland

SUPERBLOG!! Link of the Day: Boring Harry Potter Personality Test. I was Gilderoy Lockhart.

Summer continues. Lost of Wikipedia links this time. Aren't those FUN?

Day 16: Bought another fuckload of comics. Continued my nostalgic superhero binge with Secret Wars, which, to my great surprise, held up very well. Weird.
Day 17: Left Lickpig, went back to my apartment in Falun for the first time in 19 days, read Don't Go Where I Can't Follow. Reread The Authority: Kev, and The Authority: The Magnificent Kevin.
Day 18: Read A Man Called Kev, the last part of the Kev Hawkins tetralogy, or whatever you'd call it. Went shopping for food. Reread Punisher Max: From First to Last and All-Star Superman Vol 1. Both fairly excellent. (Level of intoxication: 0.9.)
Day 19: Read Shiny Beasts - pretty fun. Watched Equilibrium (2002) - sucked. Watched About Schmidt (2002) - a moving dramedy, maybe a little too long. But Nicholson has rarely been better. (Level of intoxication: 1.1.)
Day 20: Watched a bunch of episodes of NewsRadio - not very good, but I love some of the actors, especially Phil Hartman. Read The Three Paradoxes - slightly disappointing, cos it's fine but I expected more. (The title refers to Zeno's paradoxes). Watched Secretary (2002), an unusual relationship comedy starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. The last act wasn't very good, but otherwise I liked it. Watched The Color of Money (1986), Scorsese's worthy follow-up to The Hustler (1960) (given a one-word review in Part 8 of The Year of Watching DVDs). (Level of intoxication: 1.3.)
Day 21: Finished I Shall Destroy All the Civilized Planets - The Comics of Fletcher Hanks - brilliant and insane. Watched Final Destination (2000), which I got from Sammy for my birthday. Dr Arzt from Lost and Ali Larter from Heroes (dissed in Part 19 of my DVD-watching extravaganza) are in it. The tacked-on ending super-sucks. The alternate version, available on the DVD, is much more satisfying and and gels better with the rest of the movie. A short documentary featuring interviews with the film executives on why the ending was changed is an interesting case study of how to suckify your movie to reach it's commercial potential. Watched Hoffa (1992) - okay, not great. Jack Nicholson is very good as Jimmy Hoffa, but Danny DeVito is wrong for his character, and the script is one of David Mamet's weaker ones. Watched Next (2007). Nic Cage sees up to two minutes into the future, is hunted by Julianne Moore. Jessica Biel is girl of his dreams. Fascinating premise (based on PKD story), pedestrian execution. Like, you know, pretty much all PKD adaptations. (Level of intoxication: 1.3)
Day 22: Left Falun, went to Sthlm, continued to Nyköping and then Prestwick, Scotland. Then Tiny Troon. Hung around in a hotel bar. (Level of intoxication: 3.6)
Day 23: Left Troon, went to Glasgow. Wandered around. Bought 5 DVDs and a book. (Level of intoxication: 2.5)
Day 24: Left Glasgow, went to Skavsta and then to Lkpg. Bought a book and a DVD.
Day 25: Didn't do much. Watched a few eps of Ugly Betty and Veronica Mars for reasons that remain hazy.
Day 26: Went out. Finished Thinks... by David Lodge.
Day 27: Never left the house. Watched more Ugly Betty. Read some.
Day 28 (yesterday): Finished Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen. It was okay, I guess, but not very good. Cover by Charles Burns! Went to Ryd and watched The Illusionist (2006) with some people - fun evening but somewhat disappointing film.

2007: The Year of Watching DVDs, Week VIII: Before the Catastrophe

If I hadn't damaged myself on a trip, this blog entry would have been published exactly eight days ago. See, it's the eighth weekly installment of this ever-popular SUPERBLOG!! feature. Since I'm a bit behind, I guess I'll be back later this week, say, Wednesday, with the update for Week IX. Then, on Sunday or so, it's time for Week X.

If you're reading this in the future you can disregard the last paragraph and read all about the films I saw before everything fell apart:

Smultronstället (1957)
AKA Wild Strawberries, for those among you can't read Swedish (losers!). It's a weird road trip. Very interesting, but not much fun. They watch this in film classes all over the world, you know. Suckers! But you know what's amazing? How much Swedish society has changed in just 50 years. Today you'd be hard pressed to find a single polar bear on the streets of Stockholm. It's sad, really.


Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
Wilderian courtroom drama.


The Hustler (1961)
Absorbing.


Cinderella Man (2005)
Based-on-a-true-story story of a stupid, proud boxer who's stupid and proud. And who boxes. Directed by Ron Howard, starring Russell Crowe and Renée Zellweger. So that's three reasons to hate it right there. But it's actually kind of okay. I'll give it two Keatons and one Willis.


Tengoku to jigoku (1963)
AKA High and Low. Yeah. I'd be interested in seeing these old Kurosawa movies with restored picture and sound on a big screen some day.


Kumonosu jô (1957)
AKA Throne of Blood. Favorite line: If you build a mountain of corpses, build it to the sky.


All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Did you know War Is Hell? Me neither! But this film was probably one of the first to say it. What do I know? Why are you even reading this? Are you seriously telling me my "reviews" have an influence on what you choose to watch? Didn't think so, no.


Three Kings (1999)
Non-stop adventure in the Iraqi desert! I like it a lot even if the second half lags and the ending half-sucks.


Out of the Past (1947)
I couldn't really tell you why, but, like The Wild Bunch, this film completely fails to involve me, despite it having a bunch of ingredients I like. Maybe it's Robert Mitchum's fault? But he's dead now so I forgive him.


Kakushi-toride no san-akunin (1958)
AKA The Hidden Fortress. I'm told (by my friends in the industry) that it was a major influence on Star Wars (though probably not as major as Jack Kirby's New Gods). Whatever, dude.


The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
Pretty great for a movie of its time, but pretty weak compared to the book. Of course, you should never compare the movie to the book.


Crash (2004)
Featuring: Crackers! Niggers! Spicks! And even chinks! Almost every single one of which is a stupid asshole, at least at the onset of the film. Along the way, some characters will learn an important lesson, some will develop in predictably ironic fashion (i.e. white racist saves black life, etc.), while others will remain underdeveloped. On the whole I'd call it a good story but I couldn't help but think that it could have had a lot more resonance in the hands of, say, Paul Thomas Anderson.


And this is where I had to go away on a bizniz trip and during my trip I HURT MYSELF. I'll be back later this week with the rest.

You know what I suddenly realized might make these reviews a tiny little bit more fun? If I add an image to illustrate each film. But that's hard work so I won't do it now. But maybe next time? If you want me to do that, please give me absolutely no sign.

Thy will be done.