I watched this movie on television yesterday and thought it was pretty boring and directionless. It contains a lot of "action" sequences in CGI. At first they caused me to yawn, but I soon learned to appreciate them because the scenes with dialogue were worse.
Still, most of the actors (including Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman) do a decent job with an uninspired script and generally sucky dialogue. The only one who's embarrassingly bad is - unfortunately - the guy who plays the lead character, whatever his name is. (I looked it up: Hayden Christensen.) I guess he's an improvement over that poor little boy in the first movie, but that's not saying much.
Anakin's shitty performance would be a problem in almost any other movie, but Star Wars Episode Two isn't about acting. Actually, I'm not sure what it's about. I don't mean just plotwise (something about clones?), but also whatever the fuck it's trying to say. My guess: Nothing whatsoever. This seems to me to be pure entertainment, aimed at children and fat, retarded man-boys. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Questions for the filmmakers: Why was Jar Jar Binks given such a small role in this film? I thought he was HILARIOUS in the first one. (Just kidding.) Why no mention of the midichlorians? I thought they were AWESOME in the first one. (Just kidding.) Whatever happened to Darth Maul? I thought he was... oh, fuck it. BUT. There is one thing that's been bugging me since 1999. Doesn't Yoda look too young in these new movies? If he's 900 years old in Empire, shouldn't he be, like, 870 here? So why has he changed so much?
Other than that, this movie was AWESOME. I give it two Michael Keatons out of five.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Posted by Koala Mentala at 5:55 pm