Friday, February 29, 2008

KoalaCam #28: Spider-Man Drinking Alone

Continuing the series of mobile phone camera photographs of astonishingly poor quality from last Summer, here is a somewhat bloaty Spider-Man enjoying a solitary drink. I dedicate this SUPERBLOG!! post to Spider-Man's keeper, the manboy known only as Spidercrazy (no hyphen), in whose kitchen the picture was taken.

Recently Spidercrazy hurt me deeply by accusing me of being too negative (me, of all people!). I am currently plotting my terrible revenge for that insult, Norman Osborn style.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

KoalaCam #27: A Message to the Finns

I think I took this around the same time as #25, like a week or so after. Because last Summer I first visited Scotland, and then Finland. Or was it the other way around?

The message* is not written in Finnish but in Swedish because Swedish is an official language in Finland, even though it's only spoken by like 5 percent of the population. For most of its history, Finland belonged to Sweden, and, God willing, we will reclaim it soon. Then we'll destroy it. Then we'll sell Nokia to the Russians. Then we'll leave the EU. Then we'll all dance, a clever little dance of hope and joy. Then everybody will give their money to me.

God willing.

*"Finns, go back to the Ural Mountains!"

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Everybody Hates Heroes

What do all the good and decent people in the world have in common? Aside from being good and decent? They all hate the TV show Heroes. Here's preeminent comics writer Alan Moore in a recent interview in Word Magazine:

I was persuaded to watch it by people who said it nods to Watchmen but God, what a load of rubbish! It's a late-70s X-Men at best and full of terrible ideas and characters who've all been done to death. Beyond death. And the writing shows such contempt for the viewer. The climax, a man who is going to explode is carried off into the air by his brother... did anybody bother to compare the effects of a groundburst with an airburst nuclear explosion?

I'm impressed Moore actually seems to have watched it all the way to the climax. (Maybe he went straight to the finale?) Anyway, here's Tom Spurgeon (commenting on an analysis of the same interview):

Heroes -- an awful TV program made worse but its open mining of "serious" superhero comics 1975-1990 while denying this is being done

Here's my own review of the first four episodes, from last Summer. (And if you thought I was picky, Geoff Klock noticed many more things to hate in the pilot.)

Now, why am I so obsessed with proving that Heroes sucks?

Image: TV Guide cover scan via fan site Watching Heroes.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Life is Hard

What's the word for when an out-of-print movie you've always wanted to see finally pops up on torrent sites but then it turns out that some disgusting creep has dubbed it into Spanish?

Monday, February 25, 2008


It's here now.

Everybody Hates SUPERBLOG!!

Have you noticed how, lately, very few people actually comment on SUPERBLOG!! posts, even though our traffic remains constant? (Indeed, it seems to have actually grown a little this year.) I have. Why is that? Is it because we have successfully alienated everybody who used to like it? Is it because WE never comment on other people's blogs anymore (I used to do that regularly, a long time ago). Is it because BLOGS are a thing of the past and the future of the Internet is STATIC WEBSITES? I think so. Should we replace SUPERBLOG!! with a single unchanging web page called SUPERPAGE!!? Do you feel like voting on that suggestion? If so, please comment below. Please. You can even be anonymous. Please. Please! Don't you like us? Why don't you comment. COMMENT! IDIOT! COMMENT NOW! I'LL KILL YOU!!

Image: From a sitcom called Everybody Hates Chris, inspired by the teenage experiences of Chris Rock. Sundays at 7 divided by 6 cents.

I am Telling You

It is time to get this show back on the road. Every day from now until Christmas: A new SUPERBLOG!! post. How about that? Do you believe that? No, seriously. 4 real. Every day, starting now.

Sam, I command you: A blog post entitled What Happened 2 Me 2 Day. It will be about what happened to you today. Or you will not share in the SUPERBLOG!! spoils.

Monday: A new dawn.
Tuesday: A day like any other.

UPDATE, 15 minutes later: Bah. I take it back. It was a bad idea.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

I'm reading SUPERBLOG!! now

It's full of crap. I can't read anymore. I'm going to bed.

I'm reading Superman now

Superman was a Jew and he did not like Hitler at all.

Superman is Kal-El of the family that had been known on Krypton as "The House of El," in Hebrew Beit El, which means "The House of God." Over the nearly seven decades since Superman first appeared, there have been numerous Jewish connections from Jewish creators Siegel and Shuster to Jewish director of Superman Returns, Bryan Singer.

Hitler did not like Superman (big no no) but he really really liked Snow White.

The director of a war museum in northern Norway claims that he has discovered cartoons of Disney characters that late Nazi leader Adolf Hitler drew during World War II.
William Hakvaag said that he found the drawings hidden in a painting signed "A. Hitler", which he purchased at an auction in Germany.
According to him, the coloured cartoons were of the characters Bashful and Doc from the 1937 Disney film 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs', which were signed A.H.

Walt Disney was not a Jew. Some say he was an antisemite but the Jewish Chronicle says that he was cool. If you're a jew you can enjoy Disney movies without guilt.

First, Disney hired Jews, lots of Jews. Disney was not himself Jewish, of course, but the success of his business owed a great deal to a Jew. The bedrock of Disney was Walt’s merchandising partner, the Jewish Kay Kamen, the man who helped make Mickey Mouse into a cult and who once remarked that Disney had more Jews in it than the Book of Leviticus. This was not an accident, occurring against Walt’s wishes. When Harry Tytle joined the studio as a production manager and told Walt that he was half-Jewish, Disney replied: “It would be better if you were all Jewish.”

I'm reading aftonbladet now

Friday, February 22, 2008

Stay Alert !!

Also: Keep your head down, your powder dry and shit like that (get down, really, I mean it). Tomrrow is BBD - Big Blogging Day. You'll be AMAZED and mentally sodomized. Seriously.

KoalaCam #26: Breakfast That Time

This is a digital photograph of a breakfast I had once. It fucking rocked.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Happy Ultimate Wolverine Vs Hulk Day!

This picture was used once before on SUPERBLOG!!, for something else entirely I think. Here it is in its appropriate context, because this blog post exists only to congratulate Lost showrunner Damon Lindelof and all SUPERBLOG!! readers on this special day:

it has been two full years since Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk #2 was unleashed upon the comics buying public, leaving us with four issues to go.
When the television writers strike occurred, there was a brief moment of wide-eyed optimism, that perhaps the TV writer in question responsible for this series would be able to find the time to script four more issues of Hulk and Wolverine beating the tar out of each other...but I haven't heard anything about it.

So, yeah, the last monthly issue of the series is 22 months late and counting. But I heard we'll be getting 13 episodes of Lost this season and that's good. COMICS IS* FOR SISSIES, TV IS FOR HARD MEN.

Drawing by Leinil Francis Yu. (Don't worry, Wolverine was fine. And he doesn't exist.)
*Yes, I'm a McCloudian.

Why Sammy Sucks, Part 2

The response to yesterday's first part in the series 1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks! has been enormous. Not only have we received a startling amount of email and faxes from fans and casual readers, but we've also been contacted by several people with first-hand knowledge of the subject - including some members of his family. They are not surprised to find out that Uncle Sammy sucks, but they find it convenient to have access to a comprehensive list of exactly WHY he sucks. If this keeps up, I can see this feature running regularly for the remainder of SUPERBLOG!!'s existence. OR UNTIL UNCLE GETS HIS SHIT TOGETHER.

Today's reasons:

#5: He is old.
#6: He is contagious.
#7. He is descended from apes.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks!

Seeing as how my supposed co-blogger Uncle Sammy seems to have stopped blogging AND he may have infected me with DEATH (or a cold), I hereby inaugurate a new recurring feature called 1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks! It will run for the next couple of years.

Today's reasons:

#1: He is fat.
#2: He smokes.
#3: He doesn't believe in global warming.
#4: He doesn't believe in evolution.

Tomorrow (or soon): Even more reasons why Sammy Sux!

Cartoon © Maybe Chris Riddell.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Vampires in Offices

It's good to have friends but if you don't have real friends you can have PRETEND friends on the Internet. And those can create videos that they put on YouTube and one of them is SUPERBLOG!! fan Matthew P, who is a SCAB because he recently made a PILOT for a television series and here is that pilot and it is called Weird Office Tales and it has Dracula:

Go Matthew! Go vampires!

(I am a tiny bit inebriated because I had a few beers with my real-life friend Xerxes, but mostly I am tired. That is why this blog post is less expertly composed than my usual brilliant entries.)

(p.s. Who has the worst work ethic? Death match in the comments here.)

Friday, February 15, 2008

Photo #150: Rubber Tubbing!!

It's a tub made in rubber and it has bubbles. Tub, rubber, bubbles.
Tubber, rub, bubber, tubbles, bub.... Lot's of fun words can me made of those!
Why am I Sammy (I am) blogging about something named Lay-Z ?? I'm not Lay-Z !!!
Rubbles !!! Hahahahahaha! Go John McCain!!!!

MJ Hibbett: "Alan Moore"

I don't know who MJ Hibbett is but he's written a song about everybody's favorite comics writer Alan Moore and this is that song.

Sarah Silverman: "I'm F*cking Matt Damon"

Sarah Silverman sings "I'm F*cking Matt Damon" on Jimmy Kimmel Live 1-31-08.

Full interview, Part 1 and Part 2 but you don't have to watch those.

The * stands for U, so actually it's "fucking".

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

happy name day, u non-blogging prick

I have a friend who never blogs. Today is his name day. Happy Name Day, Non-Blogging Scum!

Plus and also! Here is a t-shirt you can buy somewhere:

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

RIP Steve Gerber

Tom Spurgeon has a nice eulogy of sorts. Mark Evanier has been posting on Steve Gerber's blog.

As a tribute to Mr Gerber, I plan to download the horrible 1986 movie adaptation of Howard the Duck illegally, and not watch it anyway.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Good Day 2 U Ppl!

SAMMY: I will get a Schnauzer! That's a dog! And I'm in Falun, some call it Hades but I call it Falun.

KOALA: Get away from me, Sir! You are full of coughing germs! And viruses (viri?).

SAMMY: You are a VIRUS Sir. We look at Withnail and I and we drink gasoline.



KOALA: Now 2 find a picture 2 match this EXCELLENT blog post.

Painting © 1653 Sir Toby.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Operation Monster (Based on a True Story)

You must* now all read "Operation Monster" from Chamber of Chills #5 (February 1952). It will teach you about medicine, as explained by Polite Dissent:

If you touch the wrong part of the brain, you can turn your patient into a monster. Not just figuratively, but literally, with sharp fangs, pointed ears, and green skin

*Actually, as of this writing, I haven't read it myself so I don't really know if you must read it. But I looked at it for awhile, and it seemed like something you must all read. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, in which case I apologize.

Illustration © Harvey Comics? Or maybe it's public domain?

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Hidden Lost Ads in Comical Booklets

I like Lost a lot and in my dreams I am one of the Oceanic Six but this Marvel Comics crossover/marketing effort (click on the "View" link) is just sad and pathetic.

It's enough to make me pick up my television set and throw it in the oven, if it weren't for the fact that the very next episode of Lost features Cowboy Joe!

Comic panel © 2008 The Evil Marvel Comics Empire and/or Maybe Whoever Owns Lost.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

2008: The Year of Definitely Not Watching Any DVDs

After 2007: The Year of Watching DVDs, I vowed to stop the madness. Yeah, that went well. Here's what I watched in January:

Superbad (2007) (R), Blood Simple (1984), Hard Candy (2005) (R), From Here to Eternity (1953), The Squid and the Whale (2005), The Fountain (2006), Guess Who's Coming To Dinner (1967), All In (2006), Forrest Gump (1994) (R), Shane (1953), Lost: Season 3 (2006-2007, 23 episodes) (R), Go (1999), The Elephant Man (1980), Spun (2002) (R), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) (R), Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over / Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003), The Parole Officer (2001), Art School Confidential (2006), Giant (1956), American Graffiti (1973), Aberdeen (2000) (R), The Prestige (2006) (R), King Kong (2005) (R), Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (1937), Ripley's Game (2002), Ripley Under Ground (2005), Oz: Season 3 (1999, 8 episodes), Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006), Der Amerikanische Freund / The American Friend (1977), Fantasia (1940), Plein soleil / Purple Noon (1960), State of Grace (1990), Pinocchio (1940), BASEketball (1998) (R), Ghostbusters (1984) (R), Wonder Boys (2000) (R), Scrubs: Season 2 (2002-2003, 22 episodes) (R), Elf (2003), The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) (R), Mr. Woodcock (2007), Weeds: Season 3 (2007, 15 episodes), Withnail & I (1987) (R), Adaptation. (2002), Saved! (2004), Being John Malkovich (1999) (R), Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005), Tell Your Children / Reefer Madness (1936), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) (R), Garden State (2004), Justice League: The New Frontier (2008), Veronica Mars: Season 1 (2004-2005, 22 episodes), Veronica Mars: Season 2 (2005-2006, 22 episodes)

R = repeat

Any questions?