Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What They Made Me Watch in November, 2009

I quit writing actual film reviews for SUPERBLOG!! because I realized that no matter how hard I try, I'll never become ROGER EBERT. For one thing, I'm naturally slender. For another, I'm not an insane madman with capital-K Krazy taste in movies. Instead (and like last time) I'll just list the films in order of decreasing suckitude. You will like it just fine, unless you don't, in which case we are both the poorer. Such is life, and now on with the list:

The Limits of Control (2009) [it tried the limits of my patience! Ha! Amirite, ppl?]
Ink (2009) [didn't suck, just wasn't very awesome]
The Long Goodbye (1973) (R) [the only Altman film I've seen that I didn't like very much. It doesn't even get a link!]
(500) Days of Summer (2009) [okay, I'll shut up now]
Will Ferrell: You're Welcome America - A Final Night with George W Bush (2009)
The Frighteners (1996)
Zombieland (2009) [I'll give it three zombies, like so:]
The Mist (2007)
Funny People (2009)
Up (2009)
Du levande / You, the Living (2007)
Enchanted (2007) (R; previously reviewed by me here)
Superbad (2007) (R)

I also watched some seasons of television but I don't know how to fit them in. They were good though:
Mad Men: Season 3 (2009, 13 episodes)
The Shield: Season 4 (2005, 13 episodes)
The Shield: Season 5 (2006, 11 episodes)
The Shield: Season 6 (2007, 10 episodes)
The Shield: Season 7 (2008, 13 episodes) [Ronnie Gardocki, you will always be my hero, even if everyone else takes you for granted.]

All in all, November's watching gets three willises, like so:

Thus we bid farewell to both zombies and willises as ranking tools. Next time, maybe we'll do the same for our old friend Señor Michael Keaton.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Murphymass is Nearly Over

It's always sad when seasons end and now is no exception. Tomorrow Murphymass will officially be over and done with for 2009. And just a few more days of the year remain and then it will be 2010 and who knows what the future might bring? Further strife and poverty and starvation and homelessness and death, quite possibly. War and rape and violence, most likely. But even in the midst of all this sadity and worry, we have to smile and laugh and dance and sing. Because no matter how shitty our lives might be, we can be certain of two things:

  1. There are other people on this planet who have it even worse. (A dozen people starve to death every minute. A hundred children are born with AIDS every day.)
  2. In time, things will get worse for us as well. We probably won't starve, but any one of us could get hit by a car and die tomorrow. And even if no sudden catastrophe occurs, we (and our loved ones) are slowly deteriorating and dying. You're not just imagining it: time is running out.

And if those two thoughts don't warm your heart and make you sleep well tonight, I don't know what you want from me.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Ten Murphys of Murphymass!

It's Murphymass. Let's celebrate all the Murphys we know! These are the ten Murphys of Murphymass!!

1. Brittany. The best of all possible Murphys. She's in heaven now.

2-3. Alex & Sean. One was a robotic cop, the other a correctional officer. Neither of them existed, but were rather portrayed by professional "actors" who just pretended to be Alex & Sean. When this ugly truth was exposed, people were appalled and turned on them.

4. Bleeding Gums. One of the boringest of all Simpsons characters. And that's saying a lot considering how mediocre the once-excellent show has turned in recent years. Although the last season (#21) has so far been an improvement on the 20th. No thanks to Bleeding Gums!

5. Cillian. Slightly famous person who has, again, been employed as a professional "actor". The difference to Alex & Sean though is that in this case he himself is the actual Murphy, and the persons whose lives he acts out on screen are only pretend. There is no such thing as a scarecrow.

6. Brown. Unlike most people on this list, her FIRST name is Murphy. Totally crazy.

7. Can't remember her name. She's a model that popped up in Google Image search. But she deserves a spot on this Murphymass list as much as anyone.

8. Eddie. Of course! The star of Meet Dave.

9. Michael. Semi-known although mostly unknown for Robert Altman's classic Tanner '88 and its not-quite-as-good-but-still-worthwhile follow-up Tanner on Tanner.

10. Oakes. Obviously we couldn't leave the fourteenth Governor of Arizona Territory off this list. Learn all about his fascinating life on Wikipedia!

Next Murphymass: 10 different Murphys!* MERRY MURPHYMASS EVRYBUDY

*Or the same. Or none at all.

Monday, December 21, 2009

RIP Brittany Murphy, 32

First Patrick McGoohan, and then a bunch of people I don't care about, and now Brittany Murphy. Can there be any doubt that 2009 was the saddest year ever? Brittany or Britanny or however she spelled her name may not have been an A list star but I thought she was pretty great in a whole bunch of movies, chief among them Sin City and Spun, and The Dead Girl (which was good, but I guess she wasn't in it a whole lot). And as I recall, she was pretty hot in 8 Mile, although maybe not in Girl, Interrupted, or in Clueless, but that was a surprisingly fun movie if you're at peace with your inner girl. Which SUPERBLOG!! is. (And funness beats hotness most of the time, for hotness fades but fun lasts forever might possibly last a little while longer.)

And as a general rule, nobody who was in Freeway should be allowed to die! No matter how they squander their talent afterwards [*cough 24 cough*]. So this is yet more proof if any were needed that God is an asshole who doesn't play by the rules and therefore should be excluded from the celebrations this coming holidays. Accordingly, I hereby re-dub Christmas, 2009 Murphymass, 2009.

Merry Murphymass, everybody!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

THIS JUST IN: Patrick "The Stew" Stewart to Win Big Award

Yes! BREAKING NEWS. Shakespearean actor Sir Patrick Stewart will be knighted by British rock band Queen on New Year's Eve, according to Some Newspaper. And I believe it. Patrick, or, as his friends like to call him, Pat, is of course famous for starring as a MUTANT in the X movies, and also for being born in Mirfield, Yorkshire, the son of a weaver and an army officer. But his father beat his mother, Some Newspaper reports, and this turned Pat onto acting. Now he is the finest actor in all the land. He can act the shit out of everyone else. But he rarely does, partly because he's old and partly for hygienic reasons and also because when you're at PAT's level, there's really no reason to show off.

The Irish Beauty Blog has more information:
Now that wasn’t sciency at all. I took out all the hydra oxidisation atom bonding protein structure stuff for you and just put up some words “we can all enjoy”. In the style of It’s Pat. Remember that filum? A classic. Will never lose it’s hilarity.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Uncle Sammy and his New PC!

It’s a HP Mini 110 and it’s WHITE like my soul.

Pre-installed was a TOOL called Windows Live Writer.

We’ll see if it will make me more of a live writer. It will work or

everything will be BLACK again. That map will be black or

it’s gonna show the world where I got my HP Mini!!

Stupid blogger! Not showing cool map by nice microsoft plug-in!!

Instead i give you!!! Lank to cool map showing where I got my HP mini

I solve all and everything!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

KoalaScan: Marlon

Look what I scanned a few years ago! Part of a page from Alans Moore & Davis' D.R. & Quinch! And look, it's also Marlon!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Classic SUPERBLOG!!: Rislampa

I don't have a new post for you today so here's a blast from the past instead; one of your favorite SUPERBLOG!! moments from the last five years, according to reader polls:

KoalaCam #46: Rislampa

I hung this lamp over a bed. It is called a rislampa in Swedish. Rice lamp in English. Rislampur in Icelanndic. Lampe de riz in French. The lamp watches over me, but it doesn't shine.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

KoalaCam #46: Rislampa

I hung this lamp over a bed. It is called a rislampa in Swedish. Rice lamp in English. Rislampur in Icelanndic. Lampe de riz in French. The lamp watches over me, but it doesn't shine.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Alan Moore in Forbes Magazine

Long-time some-time SUPERBLOG!! contributing prag Moko Chapman (you remember him) (he drew this, among other stuff) created this picture in his computer because he is a genius! Mr. Chapman, I mean, not the computer (who is also male). Although the computer is very clever as well! The picture depicts a vision I once had of Alan Moore as a greedy Watchmen movie-money-grubby-grabbing greedy sort of fellow interviewed by Forbes magazine. The real Alan, who is nothing like that, is nothing like that. Although he wears a similar hat! Hats, Mr. Moore believes, are the seat of man's consciousness. Without hats we would be nothing.

Image © 2009 Alan Moore, Inc. and Michelle Forbes. Used with permission.