Thursday, March 24, 2005

Mr Garrison's New Vagina

Howdy! Since we are changing from penis-day to vagina-day, what could be more fitting than...some vaginoplasty? In South Park episode 901 Mr Garrison decides to get a sex change.

Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.

To fully appreciate the episode you should try to catch it ON TV or perhaps download it from somewhere. Until you succeed with that, here's some transcripts.

[Trinidad Medical Center, day. A very modern, futuristic-looking building is seen behind the sign. Inside, a doctor approaches a patient]
Doctor: Hello, Mr. Garrison, I'm Dr. Biber. I'll be performing your surgery today.
Mr. Garrison: [on the hospital bed, his legs on stirrups] God bless you, Doctor. I know you'll make me well again.
Dr. Biber: Now, you're absolutely sure you want a vaginoplasty?
Mr. Garrison: My whole life I've been a woman trapped in a man's body. A sex-change operation is my last chance at happiness.
Dr. Biber: All right, then let's begin. [POV changes to Mr. Garrison looking down past his groin. A nurse hands Dr. Biber a scalpel] Just relax, Mr. Garrison. I think if more people could just see a sex-change operation, they would know how perfectly natural it is. The first thing I'm going to do is slice your balls. [bends down to slice open Mr. Garrison's nutsack - a live slice is shown]
Mr. Garrison: Ough, ergh. Eww. [his eyes remain shut for the duration of the operation]
Dr. Biber: With the scrotum open, I can now discard of your testicles.
Mr. Garrison: So long, balls. [the vas deferens is shown being cut in two, severing the testicle from the rest of the body. A nurse dabs Dr. Biber's forehead with a towel to remove any sweat there]
Dr. Biber: Now, I'll just continue the incision up the shaft of the penis. [real-life footage is shown]
Mr. Garrison: Oh, that stings.
Dr. Biber: Now I'll just... turn your... penis inside out.
Mr. Garrison: OH! Oh jeez.

For a (perhaps) more serious approach to sex change you should visit

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