Saturday, March 26, 2005

Jesus & Vaginas: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together

Saturday is neither Jesus Day, nor Vagina Day, but there were some things I wanted to talk about these last few days but never did. For starters, I wanted to bring up this guide to female masturbation as well as the "Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource". I also thought it would be educational to include this orgasm handbook, and this FAQ, answering questions such as "How can I tighten my vagina?". Furthermore, it struck me as imperative to mention this article on the clitoris during intercourse, and its importance to the female orgasm.

Regarding Jesus Christ, our savior and friend, I wanted to blog about the North Carolina church that got its Christ figure stolen:

Church member Shirley Heglar says it makes her mad someone stole their Jesus. She doesn't know if they'll be able to make a new one before the Easter Sunday sunrise service. But Heglar hopes some good comes out of the petty theft. She says maybe whoever took the Jesus will be thinking about what they did.
If so, I imagine they're laughing their asses off. More likely, they've already forgotten all about it and are currently watching DVDs and getting stoned. Still, the joke's on the them, because Jesus will surely punch them in the groin in the afterlife. Jesus is hardcore!

There have been a number of comic books starring Jesus, ranging from the straight-faced to the humorous. The 70s saw a title called The New Adventures of Jesus. (Not to be confused with Grant Morrison's The New Adventures of Hitler.) Of all the Jesus comics I've seen, I think this one ranks somewhere in the upper middle.

Finally, for your erotic Christian needs, there's Jesus Loves Porn:

No popups, blind links or bullshit! Just quality porn updated daily, viewable by text link or thumbnails :)
At this moment in time, I can't personally vouch for its quality. Still, it seems to me that if it's good enough for Christ, it should be good enough for you.


Anonymous said...

Blasphemy! You're going to burn in hell! You sperm-drinking maniacs! You Marilyn Manson-listening pot heads!

Anonymous said...

thats not jesus,jesus had dark hair!