Friday, April 08, 2005

Why Linköping Sucks, Part #4,201

As those of you who have been following Superblog!! for a while know, we sometimes like to make fun of our hometown, even though, deep down, we actually harbor real feelings for it (such as hate).

And today I realized yet another reason why Linköping sucks! I had to go to the hospital because Superblog!! visitors have been draining all life from me lately. (Just kidding, it wasn't blog-related. OR WAS IT? Just kidding. OR AM I? Oh, stop it.) Anyway, as you can see from the topological map above, the hospital is located way the fuck up in the mountains compared to the rest of the city, which is flat as a marooned lesbian. Now, I'm young, gorgeous, and in pretty fucking excellent shape, but I still broke a sweat climbing that steep hill. Just imagine how many senior citizens and truly sick people must keel over and die on their way to the hospital, thereby saving the city a bunch of money. Is that a good thing? Yes, from a healthy tax-payer's standpoint I suppose it is, but it still strikes me as unethical.

So ever since I got out of there I've been wracking my brains on what's to be done about this, and I think there's really only one course of action that makes sense. To save innocent lives, the hospital must be destroyed. Or perhaps the rest of the city could be risen somehow.

That was the 4,201st reason why Linköping sucks, but before I go, let me tell you a little about another couple of landmarks visible on the map. First we have Linköping Cathedral:

Work on the Cathedral was started in 1230, with the main building works being completed in 1520. [...] Linköping Cathedral is the most impressive and expensive Swedish church building of the Middle Ages.

Yeah, wow. You know what they say about bragging, Linköping Cathedral? It makes you smell like pee! (Though to be fair that could also be because a lot of drunk people actually use the side of the cathedral as a toilet on weekends.)

The plane maneuvering the skies with the grace of a llama on stilts is the critically acclaimed war plane JAS 39 Gripen, manufactured in Linköping. It's more or less a commercial failure. (Though, presumably with the help of massive bribes, we did manage to unload a few of these to Czechija.)


Moocko said...

>I had to go to the hospital because Superblog!! visitors have been draining all life from me lately.<

Aw, come on. It's your AIDS, right?

Koala Mentala said...

What a wicked sense of humor you have. Truly you crack me up. Maybe you should try working in an AIDS hospice for a few months to see how fucking funny AIDS really is.

Uncle Sammy said...

So? What kind of a sick person are you ? Really?

Sara said...

I have type 1 Diabetes. I got it when about 14 years ago.

Koala Mentala said...

I suffer from a rare case of being totally AWESOME. Doctors have yet to find a cure.

No, actually I have fucked-up eyes. Sexy, though.

Cindy-Lou said...

Bah. It's not that rare. I'm totally awesome myself.

The Greek Princess said...

Koala and Sammy...where are YOUR pics!?!? we are all anxiously waiting! :-D

Koala Mentala said...

I'm not sure about photos, but rest assured that Sammy is as old and gray as I am young and handsome.

By the way, the rest of you should tell me what ails you, and I'll try to cure it. I'm currently working to fix Sara's diabetes.

Cindy-Lou said...

I have bad knees and OCD. Fix me! Oh, and if you put your hand on my head and say "sister, you are hee-yald" I will tell everyone you're a quack.

Koala Mentala said...

Maybe your knees wouldn't be so bad if you didn't get them dirty all the time? You need to wash more often and more thoroughly.

As for the OCD, I recommend a gradual withdrawal with the aid of hashish and alcohol.