Sunday, April 03, 2005

The John Paul II Obituary

John Paul II, outrageous standup comedian and homophobic pope, died in a Vatican hotel room April 2, 2005. He was 84. Like his hero, John Belushi, John Paul II died of a drug-induced heart attack. His crowd-pleasing, funny-guy antics won him wide appeal.
He was born somewhere in Poland a long time ago and grew up in the hood. He was the great-grandson of slaves, grandson of a sharecropper and son of an insurance salesman. His close family was always joking around and John Paul II was always making the kids at school laugh.
John Paul II made many TV appearances: HBO's "Larry Sanders," "Dennis Miller Live," MTV's "Road Rules," "The Late Show with David Letterman," "The Tonight Show," and "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." He will be missed by millions but not by me. He never answered my calls.

I suggest that the cardinals elect David Letterman to be the next pontiff. They did listen to me yesterday (about pulling the tube) So, who knows...


Koala Mentala said...

Seeing his many accomplishments listed like this is humbling indeed.

My eyes are watering. Why do the good always die SO young? JP2 (my pet name for him) was like the 21st Century's answer to Hank Williams.

spidercrazy said...

Hahahahaha... fuckin' priceless, man!