Thursday, January 20, 2005

Norwegians Ask People All Over the World to Assassinate President Bush

As we've established, both God and Karl Rove hate Sweden. Sweden, for God's sake! A land that wouldn't hurt a fly! Why, we're so pacifist we even refused to take sides against Hitler! One would think nobody would even bother taking notice of us, let alone walk around hating us.

And all the while, a truly dangerous Scandinavian country continues to operate beneath the radar. I am, of course, talking about Norway, home of the famed website KillHim.Nu. ("Nu" is Norwegian for "now".) The site's banner asks, "Can someone shoot this man?"

Uh-oh. This just in: A minute after revealing Norway as America's true enemy, I realize Sweden might not be quite as innocent as I thought. Check out this subliminal message from Sweden's biggest tabloid:

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and I will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Hmm. At least it looks like they're doing it to help America.

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