Happy New Year

UPDATE #7. Jan 23. All apologies, peeps! The HUGE surprise we're preparing is taking longer than we originally thought. In the meantime, suck on this.

***

UPDATE #6. Jan 21: Sorry for the lack of updates, folks! We're busy working on something awesome behind the scenes. Exciting news coming, possibly as early as tomorrow!!

***

UPDATE #5. Jan 14: Look how strange Amy Adams looks! She must have done something to her hair.

***

UPDATE #4. Jan 12: Happy Tuesday, bitches! I hope you are oh-cay. [In kase u r not, i wish u a speedy rekovery.] As today is Tuesday, it is time for SUPERBLOG!!'s special Tuesday feature Tuesday Lankar, in which we go over all the internets in search of the most important sites right now. And here they are, in order of importance:

• Nic Cage as Everyone
• Photo of the Year: when you someone eat it (and here is the origin tale)
• Next time you jerk it to a movie, make sure it's to one of the 10 Best Masturbation Scenes!

***

UPDATE Jan 11: I smallified the image above. If we're going to be looking at it all year (and we definitely are), it shouldn't oughtta be so big as to hurt our eyes every time we see it.

***

UPDATE Jan 9: One day our old pal Mr Moko was sitting around photoshopping insect heads upon pictures of small children in his lonely cabin when suddenly he got an important phone call from the SUPERBLOG!! offices. It was a job offer. Moko's mission, should he choose to accept it, was to produce a film poster for that old movie in which Rutger Hauer is blind. Blind as a beaver. You know the movie, it's called Blind. Starring Rutger Hauer. Rising to the occasion, Mr Moko spent the next three weeks assembling this awe-inspiring masterpiece:

If you like the poster, DEAR READER, you can buy a lithograph of it from CafePress. Just tell them Rutger sent you. They'll hook you up.

***

UPDATE Jan 7: This year, instead of posting new posts all the time, I'll just update this particular post as the situation warrants. Good idea or great idea?

The History of Mankind by Milo Manara

Sex and violence - two great tastes that taste great together. Viewable in different form here.

Randomly connected: Michael Bay's keyboard.

Also... no, that's all I have.

Don't Slam Bradley!

ITEM! It's fashionable to speak ill of Bradley Cooper nowadays, but if you think about it honestly for a moment: Don't you suck just as hard? Maybe even harder, because Bradley has mountains of cash and a gold Lexus and gets whores aplenty (at a Hollywood discount, no less!). Whereas you cry yourself to sleep every night clutching an empty bottle of cheap bourbon.

ITEM! I should post a link to Dracula Part 5 because I believe I linked to the rest. Abhay Dracukhosla! You rock, somewhat.

ITEM! Xenomorph Enchantment Under the Sea, motherfuckers! Dance! Dance!


ITEM! 90s teen hearthrob Luke Perry makes naked Swedish film in the idyllic seaside village of Trosa AKA Panty (no shit), south of Stockholm (also probably true, consult Google Maps). Amazing! I liked it when they bricked him in in Oz. Will he be bricked in this time too? Very possibly.

ITEM! No more items.

Weak!

Have you noticed that SUPERBLOG!! has been weak lately? Oh so weak.

The Best Megan Fox Picture Ever (not really)

A lesson for The Pirate Bay (why didn't I post this link months ago? it might have been fun back then)

Funny or Die: The Ballad of G.I. Joe (mostly Die)

Abhay Khosla's Bram Stoker's Dracula Chapter 4! (if i were a better blogger i would link to parts 1 thru 3, or least a previous post linking to them)

SWINE FLU NOW.

Thursday is Thirst Day

Get it? It's a play on words. Let's see what the Internets have to offer today.

Picture above from Abhay Khosla's Bram Stoker's Dracula, of which you can now also read chapter two and chapter three. It's a strange coincidence that he started a new comic just as soon as I finally got around to reading his last one. Could it be that he is secretly monitoring my reading habits? Probably, yes.

Speaking of reading comics online on these here Internets, yesterday I also finally read Inio Asano's Nijigahara Holograph, a fairly awesome manga about... about a lot of stuff, really. I don't know how to describe it. Wait, I do: It's 292 pages long.

My erstwhile SUPERBLOG!! partner Uncle Sammy very rarely clicks on links because he is an enemy of the Internets, but he'll click on this one: Conservapedia! Yes, it's Wikipedia for rightwing nutjobs. Beyond bizarre.

Superboy says ‘Know Your Country!’ Kids hate Scandinavian Sigrid because she eats kottbuller! (It's köttbullar, idiots!)

YouTube: Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue Part One - animated drug prevention television special introduced by George Bush Sr. (There's some further info on Wikipedia but sadly not on Conservapedia.)

Just sad: I love you, failed viral marketing campaign for Beth Cooper!

Michael Jackson Public Domain Countdown (also): Only 70 years and 141 days to go! Obviously copyright laws are completely sane and don't need to be reformed at all.

What. Have. I. Done.

I have allowed this blog to descend into complete suckitude. Some might say I even killed it. Yes, Uncle MacSucky is the greater criminal but I goaded him into it. It's true. I told him,

when SUPERBLOG!! is asleep (whereto the rather shall its day's hard journey soundly invite it), its two chamberlains will I with wine and wassail so convince that memory, the warder of the brain, shall be a fume, and the receipt of reason a limbeck only: when in swinish sleep their drenched natures lie as in a death, what cannot you and I perform upon the unguarded SUPERBLOG!!?

That's what I said. And now I need to wash my hands and maybe even kill myself off-stage.

In other news:

Forthcoming novel: Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters (yes, a follow-up to that zombie book)

Wikipedia: Baron Brain, neurologist (that's an aptronym - see, you learned something new today)

YouTube: Wonderman

What does one TRILLION dollars look like? (and also)

100 Things Your Kids May Never Know About (stupid kids!)

And that's not all. Oh wait, it is.

Videos and Piracy and Comics

Oops, I forgot to blog for a bunch of days. That will be rectified in the following days and weeks and long, dark years. We start today with a few links to things and places on the Internets:

YouTube: My Dick By Mickey Avalon (Lyrics). This was apparently playing over the end credits to episode 2 of Hung, which I downloaded from the Internets. But the evil release group had cut the end credits, as they often do. This is why piracy is wrong.

Speaking of piracy: You wouldn't go to the toilet in a policeman's helmet is satire but at the same time an authentic Don't Copy That Floppy sequel promises prison beatings for copying (via Unfitting). Oh what a world, what a world.

Piracy in Swedish: Kalle Anka utbildar dagens unga i upphovsrätt and pirate remix of same. As I said, it's in Swedish. But still.

Vintage comics: I Loved a Teenage Beatnik (via Journalista)

Another vintage comic, as in from 2007/08: Left Field, a 200+ page baseball comic (I downloaded it six billion years ago but finally got around to reading it. It's good. Incidentally, and just to relate this to the overarching blog post theme of piracy, the author is responsible for this quotation, which is funny even though I personally don't entirely stand behind it. I believe in piracy, just like I believed in Harvey Dent.)

Colonel Colonial's Hideous Hideout

"Colonel Colonial's Hideous Hideout". I've always wanted to use that as the title of a book I'm never going to write. And I already did! So I may as well also use it as the title of a SUPERBLOG!! post. This SUPERBLOG!! post, in fact.

And what a SUPERBLOG!! post it is. The shittiest kind of all! Composed solely of INTERNETS LINKS, ranging from...

the marginally entertaining:
John Hodgman at Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner.

via the somewhat interesting:
30 ROCK is a rip-off of THE MUPPET SHOW!

to the (very) slightly amusing:
Gay for Justice?

Only three? Yeah! That's all you get and you'll shut your face and like it. This is summer, so plenty of not many lankar at all (and lousy ones at that) is par for the day. Ha ha summer suxxx & suxxx 2 b u baybee.

Tomas Nosferatuström

Shut up! Here are lankar (goodspeak) AKA links (American) AKA lenkur (Icelandic):

Typical Danish Humor on YouTube. That's Dirch Passer, "Denmark's greatest comedian". I kid you not. Not for nothing are the Danes our arch-enemies.

[Historical aside explicating the class division among Nordic countries! There are five of them: Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland, and Iceland. But:

1. Iceland is so far away from the rest (geographically and mentally) that nobody has ever really cared about their doings. They could start an atomic war and nobody would notice. Sad but true.
2. Finland used to be a (neglected) part of the Swedish Empire, until we lost Finland to Russia in 1809 and then some time later the Finns apparently won their independence.
3. Norway used to be a part of Denmark until we won Norway fair and square in a war in 1814, and then out of the kindness of our hearts we gave them independence in the early 1900s. This was before anybody knew what oil was.

So you see, the only Nordic countries that matter historically are Denmark and Sweden. And there is some bad blood there, partly having to do with the reign of Christian the Tyrant in the 16th century, and also Aqua. Isn't history fun?!]

Darkseid Minus New Gods

[Historical aside explicating class division among the New Gods! No, just kidding.]

Bros before pirates

Spider-Man pissing against a wall

Bill Murray is truly the King of Kings

Fråga 2007/08:968 Filmen Trolltyg i tomteskogen av Karl Sigfrid (m) till justitieminister Beatrice Ask (m) (Swedish)

Why men are never depressed

Some links courtesy of Moko and Spidercrazy, my ONLEY SB FRIENDS, apparently. Moko also made the image above, portraying UNBIASED RODENT Tomas Norström.

This has been a remarkably excellent SUPERBLOG!! post. You are welcome.

Let There Be Lankar

Lankar is Swedish for Links. On the Internets.

Today's most important link is unquestioningly Patrick McGoohan Rotating in his Grave when he thinks about the forthcoming Prisoner remake. Sure, could be good. Ian McKellen isn't cat shit. But it's unnecessary, and you know McGoohan wouldn't have liked it. Or maybe he would, admittedly he was an unpredictable kinda guy. Oh, Patrick McGoohan! You died so that the world might live.

YouTube: Budweiser Porn Ad and an accompanying article in TIME, which references a previous ad, Swear Jar. If you haven't seen them before you can see them now, because this is the Internets.

Horror movies in the news! Inside and Final Destination!

Oh noes, I'm afraid those last linx were in terrible taste. Patrick McGoohan would have killed me! Or at least stared angrily at me. I may as well round out this FAILED link post with an article about sexy Nazi bad girls and a picture of a pussy? Wait, those Nazis aren't sexy! I've failed yet again.

Internets

OMG: Charles Rocket Saying Fuck (WMV from SNL) (History spoiler: he was fired and 24 yrs later he killed himself)

Jughead's hat

The Most Depressing Cartoon Ever? (No)

Spider-Man in Il revient et il bave ("It is up and drool" says Google Translate)

Should have been The Pirate Bay defence: 'Twas My Clear Understanding That Me And The Lads Was Only Running Some Kind of Cruise Ship (Oops, I spoiled the fun and blew this link)

Internet memes: The Boxxy Story

Shermlock Shomes in The Hound of the Basketballs, MAD, October, 1954

Linkage 9/22

Meta #2: Det bästa nån nånsin sagt om PowerPoint (från några dagar innan SUPERBLOG!! kom till)

SUPERBLOG!!: Marinated in sexual tension. And beer and sometimes in scotch and 7up.

CosbyPlay

Hello, I'm Bill Cosby. No I'm not. You will now play The Bill Cosby Fun Game. I conquered it with ease. Because I am super.

Legal filesharing may be an alternative when the MAN is hassling The Pirate Bay.

Super-Fatso! would save us all if he existed outside of our dreams.

Come on, it wasn't THAT bad!

Rorschach Reviews Watchmen. You remember Watchmen, don't you?

Justine Lai:

In Join Or Die, I paint myself having sex with the Presidents of the United States in chronological order. I am interested in humanizing and demythologizing the Presidents by addressing their public legacies and private lives.

That's real art. I wish we had time and place for a few more links but we don't. Goodbye now, boys & girls. See you some other time. Next year, perhaps.

Get Me the Head of the Balrog

Random linkage is the best kind of linkage.

Balrog monument (Merchandise)

Don't tell me what I can't do (Lost tattoo)

Egyptian Deity Kuk (only funny in Swedish)

Redesigning the Stop sign (YouTube)

Obama Ero-Manga

Megan Fox nose job

A Jury of Our Peers

Grimace Project

The eternal question

Obama icon

Presidential Debate

Joe Blow

Christian Bale Soundboard

Hilda the Hippo eats dwarf (pwned!)

Groundhog Dreams (Strangest ad campaign evar?)

The Hoaxmaster

Q: Pink -- why feminine?

Norm MacDonald on Conan and also Norm Macdonald - Outtakes (Bob Saget roast) part 1 (of 3) (YouTube) (p.s. Norm MacDonald file sharing)

Insipid Tales

If my name was Mahershalalhashbaz Gilmore I would definitely change it to Mahershalalhashbaz Ali. It's easier to say.

Sad Trombone

Watchmen Fun Linkage

It's easy to make fun of Watchmen but it still has to be done.

Saturday Morning Watchmen (video, also on YouTube)

I dit it!

Nite Owl & Rorschach in Presidential Trouble!

How The Studios Would Have Ended 'Watchmen' (A Storyboard) (yes, a storyboard)

Dr Manhattan condoms (actual promotional item)

104 Ways to Hilariously Ruin the Watchmen Movie (photoshop contest)

Just Imagine... Stan Lee Creating Watchmen

Social Media's Watchmen (brilliant)

10 Reasons the Watchmen Movie Will Suck (I really should have posted this before the movie)

Avenue: An illustrated history of Watchmen from page to screen (not humor either)

Producer Don Murphy calls Alan Moore "a hypocrite" and "a liar" (hilarious news item)

Merry Lankar

If, like me, you prefer to spend the Holidays on the Internet instead of with loved ones, here are some hyperlinks you can click on. Each will bring up a different "site" on the World Wide Web! AWESOMA LINK MADNESS. (When was the last time you heard somebody actually use the words "world wide web"? Be honest.)

ALF VS. PREDATOR

Ultimate Fighting Championship FUNNY leg-kick (warning: pretty violent, but sports always are)

Watchmen: The condensed version (Comics for the lazy)

Tales Of The Black Freighter - reconstructed (Comics)

Achewood Just For Me: Cabs are a penny (Comics)

Presidents Izen-Hower and Nee-Xon (Comics covers)

Pass me the grafting serum (Comics)

Snorlax on YouTube (Those guys are trying too hard)

Cultural differences (Joke)

Noe: Ship of Fools (Some cover)

Overheard in New York:
10th wedding anniversary
Tons of coke
Airport

Commodore 64 game of the day (Games)

LOLcat SUPERBLOG!!

Erotic video: Japanese girl shows how to kiss

How many Asians can you fit on a train?:

(Video sent in by Racist Rudolph)

Shocking math: 3 to the power of 4 * 425 = 34 425!! (Math)

The Blog of Mapa Apa! (actually Ma Paapa)

Best name ever (Names)

NOTE: LANKAR is Swedish for links.

Uncle Sam Took a Hand!

Election Hangover! These so-called links are still funny or interesting but they'll cease to be so very soon.

You're probably wondering: Has President Obama Been Assassinated Yet?

Video: Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’. In six months, nobody will remember Cindy McCain. She'll join Tipper Gore and the rest on the failed-First-Lady garbage heap. But she'll still be richer and more powerful than you.

Comics: Steve Brodner's Red, NY and Blue. That Brodner is a caricaturist of immense talent fo shizzle.

More comics: Uncle Sam vs the Mad Poet. Rhyme ruins nation! Above pic taken from this link.

Pat Oliphant cartoon: Ready to rejoin the world? Ha ha!

Wikipedia (not election related): Because of Michael Crichton's death, I found out about the small penis rule (also, I watched Crichton's fun Westworld and its dumb sequel Futureworld. I recommend the first one because it is fun but not the latter, because it is dumb.)

Plus and also, here is a Peter Arno cartoon I like: Old Whittington!

Tomorrow: More asbestos! More asbestos!

J is for Judge Death

Joyless Judiciary! This and others, in Garen's A-Z of comic strip characters. Kid Marvelman and Yoko Tsuno! Comic books! Is there anything better than comics in the whole wide world?

Yes, maybe. Alcohol! The cause of, and solution to! As Homer said. Read the A.V. Club Taste test: Bacon-infused vodka and then try it for yourself and get back to me.

Halloween video: Freddy Krueger, Registered Offender. It's funny because it's what would actually happen if Freddy Kreuger moved into your neighbourhood. But, sad to say, Freddy Kreuger doesn't exist. We'll have to invent him.

Test Your Color IQ. I got an 8, which isn't great but probably pretty good. Maybe I'll try it again sober.

Sarah Silverman in The Great Schlep which "aims to have Jewish grandchildren visit their grandparents in Florida, educate them about Obama, and therefore swing crucial Florida vote in his favor." But it's not necessary because Barack will win this one easily. Bradley effect my ass. Speaking of which, will SUPERBLOG!! blog Election Night even though it's in the middle of the fucking night? Maybe it will.

The Fancy Pants Adventure is one of the list of 150 Best Online Flash Games. But it's not one of the 149 other games on the list.

Lover!

Lover! Have you ever noticed how there are a lot of links on the Internet nowadays? Today I feel like posting five of them and they are all comic book-related because everybody loves comics! (Especially the Japanese.) (Even vagrant women.)

1. Herbie Popnecker is the hardest and most powerful and sexiest superhero ever. A billion examples in the link.

2. Walt Disney's Sin City

3. Pokemon tarot

4. Watchmen characters Simpsonized

5. Watchmen Poster Comparisons

That's five links. That may not seem like much but it's five more than you would have got if I hadn't posted any. It's also twice as many as you would have got if I'd only posted two and a half links. Math.

Secret Fish

Typical: I proclaim this week Lazy Blogging Week on Monday, and follow that by posting more frequently than I have in many months. That's so fucking SUPERBLOG!!. (Is what I would say if it wasn't an extremely nerdy thing to say.) (And Lord knows I'm no nerd. I'm cooler than cool. My code name in the CIA would be Cold Fish. Secret Agent Cold Fish.) (Illustration.) Not only have the posts been frequent, but they've all been of stellar quality. Maybe too good. So to even things out, I want to announce that next week on SUPERBLOG!! will be Worst Blogging Week Ever. See you there and then.

p.s. Some links:

I used to dislike Fox News but now I think they are awesome! Chutzpah! is the word. Or childishness.

For Swedes: Obama Academy!

Worst comic strip ever: Loki, Your Fuzzy Forest Friend

Pictured: Cool McCool.

Laugh or Cry or Try New Things

Good day Sir or Madam or somewhere in between. Here is some more stuff I once meant to blog about but never will. Not even if I live to be a THOUSAND! (By the way: Remember when I almost blogged a thousand times in one day? I didn't either! Those were the days.)

Comics: Worse than Hitler!

The Greatest Nancy Panel Ever Drawn (Megaupdate: Journalista links to a YouTube video based on the panel.)

Comics: Al Columbia's Pim and Francie

Science: Researchers reveal how the brain handles sarcasm

History of Sweden: Murders galore

Transgender Graphics and Fiction Archive

Useful: How to suck your own dick

Useful: What's the font?

Wikipedia: Friday night death slot

Cinemorgue

Image taken from.