Happy New Year

UPDATE #7. Jan 23. All apologies, peeps! The HUGE surprise we're preparing is taking longer than we originally thought. In the meantime, suck on this.

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UPDATE #6. Jan 21: Sorry for the lack of updates, folks! We're busy working on something awesome behind the scenes. Exciting news coming, possibly as early as tomorrow!!

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UPDATE #5. Jan 14: Look how strange Amy Adams looks! She must have done something to her hair.

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UPDATE #4. Jan 12: Happy Tuesday, bitches! I hope you are oh-cay. [In kase u r not, i wish u a speedy rekovery.] As today is Tuesday, it is time for SUPERBLOG!!'s special Tuesday feature Tuesday Lankar, in which we go over all the internets in search of the most important sites right now. And here they are, in order of importance:

• Nic Cage as Everyone
• Photo of the Year: when you someone eat it (and here is the origin tale)
• Next time you jerk it to a movie, make sure it's to one of the 10 Best Masturbation Scenes!

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UPDATE Jan 11: I smallified the image above. If we're going to be looking at it all year (and we definitely are), it shouldn't oughtta be so big as to hurt our eyes every time we see it.

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UPDATE Jan 9: One day our old pal Mr Moko was sitting around photoshopping insect heads upon pictures of small children in his lonely cabin when suddenly he got an important phone call from the SUPERBLOG!! offices. It was a job offer. Moko's mission, should he choose to accept it, was to produce a film poster for that old movie in which Rutger Hauer is blind. Blind as a beaver. You know the movie, it's called Blind. Starring Rutger Hauer. Rising to the occasion, Mr Moko spent the next three weeks assembling this awe-inspiring masterpiece:

If you like the poster, DEAR READER, you can buy a lithograph of it from CafePress. Just tell them Rutger sent you. They'll hook you up.

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UPDATE Jan 7: This year, instead of posting new posts all the time, I'll just update this particular post as the situation warrants. Good idea or great idea?

"How'd It Get Burned?!?!!"

Compilation clip highlighting the best moments of the 2006 version of The Wicker Man, starring Nicolas Cage as The Bear. I laughed until the tears ran down my face and into my tear bucket.

(Please note that the original Wicker Man is an excellent movie 4 realz.)

KoalaCam #32: Nicolas Cage

Here is a photo I took of a famous actor named Nicolas Cage. Actually it's a photo of a poster with Nicolas Cage. Or actually it's probably a digital reproduction of a printing that features a digital painting of Nicolas Cage, or something. Everything's digital these days, and people are scared. They look to Nicolas Cage for support, but he's off fighting mummies or whatever.

The point is that I own this photograph and if you want to use it you have to pay me money.

The Year of Watching DVDs, Part 26 of 1000

I watched the entire IMDb top 250 list and now I'm watching everything else. All reviews so far.

This time, twenty-four tiny film reviews. You have to read them all, or you won't understand any forthcoming SUPERBLOG!! entries. And then you'll miss the chance to win fine prizes!

Edmond (2005)
This was, I think, the last movie I watched back in June, before I left for my vacation. I'd describe it as Falling Down as written by David Mamet. Which isn't very surprising, considering he did write it. Starring William H Macy.


About Schmidt (2002)
Moving dramedy by Alexander Payne, maybe a little too long. Nicholson has rarely been better.



Secretary (2002)
Unusual relationship comedy starring Maggie Gyllenhaal (whose last name the automatic spellchecker wants me to change to "Challengers") and James Spader. The last act wasn't very good, but otherwise I liked it.


The Color of Money (1986)
Scorsese's worthy sequel to The Hustler (1960) (mentioned in Part 8).


Grabben i graven bredvid / The Guy in the Grave Next Door (2002)
Mediocre/okayish Swedish comedy about the difficulties that arise when a dirty farmer and a middle-class librarian fall in love. The horror!


Risky Business (1983) (repeat)
The epic masterpiece with Tom Krus and whatshername. Featuring a young Joe Pantoliano as Guido the Klever Biznizman.


The Queen (2006)
It's about the Queen.


Hoffa (1992)
Okay. Jack Nicholson is very good as Hoffa, but Danny DeVito is wrong for his character, and the script is one of David Mamet's weaker.


Next (2007)
Nic Cage sees up to two minutes into the future, is hunted by Julianne Moore. Jessica Biel is girl of his dreams. Fascinating premise (based on Philip K Dick story), pedestrian execution. Like, you know, pretty much all PKD adaptations.


The Illusionist (2006)
Nice-looking but empty and predictable period piece about a stage magician named Edward "Emperor" Norton. Jessica Biel is girl of his dreams! I smell a sequel called The Next Illusionist, in which Norton and Nicolas Cage fight for Biel's favors.


I Heart Huckabees (2004)
How am I not myself? Existential comedy by David O. Russell.
See him flip out on the set, calling Lily Tomlin a "cunt". See Lily Tomlin pissed off as well, saying "Fuck you too" to Naomi Watts, and "Shut the fuck up!" to Dustin Hoffman. Ah, the miracle of the Internet. It saves lives, I'm sure I read somewhere.


8 femmes / 8 Women (2002)
Enjoyable murder mystery musical.



The Holy Mountain (1973)
By Alejandro Jodorowsky. Weird, unique. The ending sucks, but some parts rule. I think my favorite character was Fon, He whose planet is Venus.


The Birds (1963) (repeat)
It's about birds.


The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)
Orson Welles' follow-up to Citizen Kane. And as such it's disappointing, as it's not really in the same league. The happy ending is unconvincing.


To Catch a Thief (1955)
Starring Cary Grant as the thief. He looks colored, at least on my DVD. Maybe he's just sunburned. Grace Kelly is excellent and not too ugly.



When the Wind Blows (1986)
One of the best animated movies about coping with nuclear war I've seen in several weeks! Based on Raymond Briggs' graphic novel, which I once found among a bunch of children's books in an antique book store in Lkpg, Sweden. I can imagine it freaking out the kids, though it's actually a sweet story. Manages the trick of making WW2 seem downright quaint. Watch it on Google Video.


Ellie Parker (2005)
Shot on digital video, which may account for why it looks like shit. Naomi Watts is a struggling actress who goes to auditions and has love trouble. One or two memorable scenes, and Watts is good throughout, but there's no story here.


Cherish (2002)
Robin Tunney is unjustly incarcerated in an apartment in this drama thriller that seems interesting until she tries to clear her name and starts acting really stupid. Singer Liz Phair has a small part as a bitch. I like Liz Pfair.



Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)
Unsurprisingly, you have to be a Twin Peaks fan from before to appreciate this. But if you are, it's very good. One thing that bothers me a little is the absence (actually, replacement) of Lara Flynn Boyle. Bob and the Black Lodge scare me.


Requiem for a Dream (2000) (repeat)
Drugs are bad, apparently.


Rear Window (1954)
Possibly Hitchcock's best film. Hitch the Bitch hated to go on location, so many of his movies look extremely fake today. (They're still good, though.) Rear Window is one of the relatively few who don't suffer from that at all.


El Espinazo del Diablo / The Devil's Backbone (2001)
Stylish but slowish (horror) drama by Guillermo del Toro.


United 93 (2006) (repeat)
Paul Greengrass' emotionally draining account of the plane which went down in Pennsylvania on 9/11. Already reviewed in Part 4, and it was just as good this time. The DVD has audio commentary by Osama bin Laden. No! Hey: Too bad Marky Mark wasn't on the flight. Or he'd have saved everyone, I mean.


OMG what day is this?