Free porn! Porn! Absolutely free! No strings attached!
It's time for an experiment. According to a recent article by John Dvorak, this entry's headline alone will result in massive traffic for Superblog!!, because, yes, people are THAT stupid. Or sex-starved. The article, "Free Porn Magic for You!" discusses a previous column, simply entitled "Free Porn":
Free porn! Actual women squirming with pleasure!
The column, written nearly two years ago, was an exercise in propaganda, done to prove that the use of the word "porn" in a headline would jack up the readership of any column. This was an assertion promoted by my previous online editor, Don Willmott, who revealed the trick to me after looking at years of online stats. He'd used it himself when he needed to pump up his own numbers.
Free porn! Hot teenage sluts hungry for sex!
I have my own tale of web fakery. When I first started making websites back in the mid-90s, I created a humble page (it may even have been hosted on Geocities), located at a horribly long and complicated URL, with pretty much nothing on it but a tiny image of an orange (reproduced a few dozen times), some boring links, and a hit counter. I also put "Pamela Anderson", "Baywatch", "X-Files", and a few other then-popular words and phrases in the meta tags, and then forgot about the page for two weeks. When I came back to it the page had gotten close to 20,000 hits.
Free porn! Straight, gay, lesbian, bi, tri, farm animals!
But to be frank, I didn't think that kind of scam worked very well in our enlightened age. It will be interesting to see if Dvorak is correct. As you may have noticed, I'm "cheating" somewhat, bettering the odds by putting the phrase "free porn" here and there in this entry.
Free porn! Kinky and bizarre! Sexy and disturbing!
However, as Superblog!! loathes false advertising, we are in fact - as you can see above - offering free porn. (Free porn! Free porn! Free free free! Porn porn porn!) By the way, if my Paintbrush masterpiece strikes you as anatomically inaccurate, it's probably because I have never actually seen a naked person of either gender. (Except on postcards, of course.)
Now we play the waiting game.
Superblog!! - Playing the Waiting Game and Offering Pro Bono Pornography Since 2005! Free! Free! Free! Porn! Porn! Porn!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Free Porn! Free Porn! Free Porn for You!
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2 comments:
You, Superblog 2!! I just gotta tell you this... I know that the pic is cartoonish and somewhat simple, but hell, I don't know... It kind of made me warm inside. But here in lies the first COMPLAINT about your otherwisely wonderful bloggie: I didn't reach climax, since the image wasn't gay. Now, this is one small complaint. The Batsie-pics are still fresh in memory, but wanking material is a perishable good. I'm looking forward to more of that kind of stuff. Plz, don't let your fag fans down! We are as important to you, as Peanut M&M's are to Richard Stallman (in other words - WE MAKE U PHAT!!!) Cheerio, guys!
Uh huh.
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