Saturday, February 26, 2005

Gays are Trying to Ruin Our Kids

You know who Jack Chick is? Of course you don't. You don't know anything. That's why you come to Superblog!! - To learn.

Jack Chick is... hell, I'm too lazy to go into it. Here's Wikipedia:

Jack Thomas Chick (born April 13, 1924) of Chick Publications is the creator of comic-style tracts and larger comic books for the purpose of Christian evangelism in a fundamentalist theology. Jack Chick is an Independent Baptist and a dispensationalist.
He has currently started the Children's Series of the tracts. Lessons in these tracts have included Chick's view that evolution is false, and that homosexuality and celebrating Halloween are immoral.

His website has tons of brilliant online comics ("Chick Tracts") that tell you how you MUST live your life if you want to get into Heaven. Apparently, his followers leave the printed versions around in phone booths and train stations, so that a lot of people will receive God's message.

The tracts are quite bizarre. A lot of the time the arguments are counter-intuitive. Often footnotes supply Bible quotes that aim to "explain" why something is evil, but they mostly confuse. And the tracts make explicit that whether you're a Good Person or not is irrelevant to where you go after death. The important thing is that you subscribe to exactly the right branch of The One True Faith.

Among the many, many things that Chick - and thus God - finds Evil with a capital E are...
Catholics (they're not true Christians)
sex outside of marriage (did you know that it gives you AIDS, even if you wear a condom?)
rock music (including Elvis and the Beatles)
and partying.

It's hard to pick a favorite, because they're all so great. Seeing as how homosexuality is a recurrent theme on Superblog!!, however, I want to give special mention to "Birds and the Bees", from which the above image was taken.

Go read, welcome Jesus into your heart, renounce your evil ways, and be saved.

Your brother in Christ,


Superblog!! doesn't feature as much violence and perversion as the Bible, but we do try.


Moocko said...

Christianity's good, but what happened to the homoerotic superheroes? (PS: The Supes-Covers were a blast!)

Koala Mentala said...

They broke into your home and stole your tv set while you were asleep. Then they went to Spain on vacation. While I'm typing this, they are plotting to destroy your marriage by paying attractive hookers to ambush you on your way to work.