Saturday, August 27, 2005

Why Linköping Sucks, Part #4202: Stadskampen



Hooray! Today all eyes of the nation are upon the hometown of Superblog!!, as the gigantic TV spectacle Stadskampen ("Battle of the Cities") comes to Linköping! (If you click on some of the video clips available here, you may or may not get a view of where I live. Incredible!) I've never actually watched it, but from what I gather it's a kind of gameshow where a few contestants represent each city, and the townspeople are supposed to help them out somehow. The sports include Holding Your Breath, Peeing in a Jar, and the hardest one, Smearing Yourself with Peanut Butter and Letting Pitbull Terriers Lick It Off. Or maybe I just made those up because I don't know.

In connection with this, there are a lot of entertaining events:

- Lattjo Lajban kl. 15.30
- Idol kl. 16.30
- Uppträdande med Amy Diamond kl. 17.30
And to think, people used to say nothing exciting ever happens in Linköping! How wrong they were!

This all takes place at Cloetta Center, "Sweden's third largest entertainment arena". I've always hated Cloetta Center, partly because Cloetta Fazer is an enormous chocolate manufacturer with pockets as deep as the Grand Canyon, and yet they got to purchase the right to name the arena (paid for by Linköping's tax payers) for just a couple of million Swedish crowns. That sounds like a lot of money, but you should bear in mind that Swedish currency is almost worthless. To put the millions in perspective, a Big Mac menu costs around 60 crowns in Sweden. (I don't know the exact price, I don't eat at McDonald's. Mostly for obscure political reasons, but also because I hate looking at fat people. Fat people are the most disgusting thing in the world. I say that knowing full well that a great many fat people are reading this, including some of my friends. Listen, guys, I love you, but it's time you faced up to the fact that you're despicable and vile and should be put to death for the good of the nation.)

What was I talking about? Oh, fuck it.

16 comments:

Sara said...

The cross dresser from M*A*S*H was born in my hometown and The Daily Show did a segment on it(my hometown, not Jamie Farr) a few years ago.
Yeah, my hometown rocks out loud.

zenmonki said...

I don't know why you think Linköping sucks so much, but you would know better than me. You guys are there, so it must have something going for it.

Anyway, if you hate it so bad, you could always move to Fucking.

Moocko said...

Last time I was at McDonalds, I got two cheeseburgers, one coffee and one Sprite for only 40 crowns. I think it was okay. Isn't a BigMac Meal at 45 crowns or something?

Koala Mentala said...

Your story is full of lies.

If I lived somewhere else, I would probably hate it there too.

spidercrazy said...

There are no fat people on Mars, as far as I know. No battle of the cities, either. You could always move there. I'm sure you would like it.

Koala Mentala said...

No, I wouldn't. I hate everything and everybody.

Moocko said...

You mean you LOVE everything and everybody! :-D

The Stalker said...

It could be worse, you could live inPittsburgh

Sara said...

You got SPAMed!

Koala Mentala said...

Yeah, I deleted all the spam comments just now. I probably shouldn't bother. It's just Lamar Owens trying to act cool.

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Koala Mentala said...

Fuck you too, Lamar.

Moocko said...

You mean "LOVE you too, Lamar" :-D