SUPERBLOG!!: Sucky Long Blog Entry

Here follows the word suck many times: Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck fuck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck and suck!! By now you know that I master the art of ctrl-c and ctrl-v, right? So let's move over to Kamprad. He's not the richest man in the world. He's the 6th richest man in the world. That means that he's able to buy Botswana and still have money left...

for sex
You may think you know how to make a baby. But do you really understand all the intricate details? Sure, you've got the basics covered — man meets woman, they both get naked and have sex, and nine months later out pops Junior — but there's a lot more to it than that (not to mention a host of modern variations on that theme). For instance, do you know exactly where sperm and eggs come from, or how these two microscopic miracle-makers ever find each other and combine to create a new life?

and drugs
Methamphetamine is a powerful stimulant that activates certain systems in the brain. It is closely related chemically to amphetamine, but the central nervous system effects of methamphetamine are greater. Both drugs have some medical uses, primarily in the treatment of obesity, but their therapeutic use is limited.

and rock'n'roll.
Rock-and-Roll (räk'n roll') n. first so used (1951) by Alan Freed, Cleveland disc jockey, taken from the song "My Baby Rocks Me with a Steady Roll". The use of rock, roll, rock and roll, etc., with reference to sexual intercourse, is traditional in blues, a form of popular music that evolved in the 1950's from rhythm and blues, characterized by the use of electric guitars, a strong rhythm with an accent on the offbeat, and youth-oriented lyrics.

When I researched sex and drugs and rock'n'roll I used the Ask Jeeves search engine. Don't do that! You'll get absolutely zilch when it comes to the more exciting aspects of life and death and everything.

In other news: Very fucking old dildo found in Germany. You don't need to click that link because I copied all of the text since this is meant to be a very long entry.

German scientists are tickled pink after unearthing one of the world's oldest sculpted phalluses - 20cm of polished siltstone lovingly created around 28,000 years ago.
The stone schlong was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Swabia, by a Tübingen University team. Professor Nicholas Conard, from the university's snappily-named department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, explained the excitment to the BBC thus: "Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare."
Indeed, although other examples of male genitalia - from France and Morocco - predate the Ulm member, to have "any representation of male genitalia from this time period is highly unusual".
There may be a good reason for this - the German sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap flints, and was reassembled from 14 fragments. Despite this abuse, and in a delicious leap of imagination, Conard speculates that the life-size member may have been used as a prehistoric sex toy. As he suggestively notes: "It's highly polished."
Those interested in the sex lives of our distant ancestors will be able to cop an eyeful of the Hohle Fels phallus when it goes on show at a Blaubeuren prehistoric museum exhibition entitled "Ice Art - Clearly Male".

Interesting, but I still need more to make this a long sucky blog entry. Maybe some hot steamy lesbian sex with Marilyn Monroe will do?

Concerning her one-night sexual encounter with Crawford, the paper quotes the late actress as saying: “Next time I saw Crawford, she wanted another round. I told her straight-out I didn’t much enjoy doing it with a woman. After I turned her down, she became spiteful.”

Not steamy at all! Disappointing Marilyn! We expected more from you. I even visited your grave when I was in L.A. Shame on you for messing with peoples sexual fantasies about you.

Right... that will have to be enough. Next mission will be to post a good short blog entry.

PS. Just to be sure. Let me be more precise about the word zilch (er... no need to click that link):

[Q] From Bill Penn: “My source books give me a totally unsatisfactory background on the word zilch. (Please note I resisted saying the books gave me zilch on zilch.) Can you help?”
[A] There goes a chance for a pun. Spoilsport ...
You’re right that dictionaries are almost uniformly cautious about the origin of this word, which means “nothing; zero”. It appears first in print in the mid 1960s (the first example in the big Oxford English Dictionary is from a slang collection at the University of South Dakota dated Winter 1966).
Some reference books suggest the Ballyhoo humour magazine, first published in 1931, was a possible source. This had as one of its characters a Mr Zilch (actually there were several of them: the front page of the first issue advertised “President Henry P. Zilch. Chairman of the Board Charles D. Zilch. Treasurer Otto Zilch”). The character was not actually pictured in cartoons in the magazine, but was obviously present, so he was “the little man who wasn’t there”.
This name may have come from college slang of the 1920s, in which Joe Zilsch was the archetypal average student—the average Joe, in fact, marching in the same column as Joe Blow, Joe Doakes and the more recent Joe Sixpack. That sense is still around and sometimes used in the same way as John Doe, to refer to an individual who is otherwise unidentified. In the 1920s, however, Joe Zilsch could also be an insignificant person or (in modern terms) a loser. The spelling suggests a European origin (and Zilsch is a real German surname of Slavic origin). The name was probably borrowed with zero and nil in the back of the creator’s mind.
But the years between the 1930s and the 1960s are a complete blank as far as the development of the word is concerned, so we have no way of confirming that this is the source. Indeed, the long gap might be indirect evidence that it isn’t. Alas, etymology is not an exact science, so this is yet another occasion on which I just have to say “Origin unknown”.