Thursday, May 26, 2005

Tom Cruise is Very, Very Gay

Movie star Tom Cruise (you know, you saw him in Endless Love - playing the character of "Billy" - and Days of Thunder) has finally been conclusively revealed as homosexual. It happened on Oprah. Apparently Cruise was "acting crazy" to indicate how much he enjoys fucking Katie Holmes.

However, the plan backfired since he acted out his emotions in a manner which experts have confirmed is closely linked to homosexuality. Any day now, Cruise is expected to publicly admit that he's gay, as well as a lousy actor. Superblog!! applauds his braveness in finally coming out, and would like to use this forum to offer Katie Holmes a shoulder to cry on. Let's meet up in Linköping on Saturday night, Katie. (Friday I'm watching the last few episodes of Oz.)

More images in link. (Via the Beat.)


Sara said...

My sister went to high school with Katie Holmes.
It's a catholic all girls high school if that helps paint the picture.

Koala Mentala said...

Are you saying you and your sister will join Katie and me for a WEEKEND OF CARNALITY?

Incidentally, I haven't heard from Katie since I posted the message, so if you could use your connections to make sure she gets it, that would be super. Thanks.

Moocko said...

Katie Holmes is a fucking ugly bitch and I'd like to stab her with a knife and play with her blood.

Koala Mentala said...

Yeah, she's hot.