THIS JUST IN: Patrick "The Stew" Stewart to Win Big Award

Yes! BREAKING NEWS. Shakespearean actor Sir Patrick Stewart will be knighted by British rock band Queen on New Year's Eve, according to Some Newspaper. And I believe it. Patrick, or, as his friends like to call him, Pat, is of course famous for starring as a MUTANT in the X movies, and also for being born in Mirfield, Yorkshire, the son of a weaver and an army officer. But his father beat his mother, Some Newspaper reports, and this turned Pat onto acting. Now he is the finest actor in all the land. He can act the shit out of everyone else. But he rarely does, partly because he's old and partly for hygienic reasons and also because when you're at PAT's level, there's really no reason to show off.

The Irish Beauty Blog has more information:

Now that wasn’t sciency at all. I took out all the hydra oxidisation atom bonding protein structure stuff for you and just put up some words “we can all enjoy”. In the style of It’s Pat. Remember that filum? A classic. Will never lose it’s hilarity.

U R Dumb

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Holm

Ladies and gentlemen, for the last time ever: Mr Patrick Stewart! Altered for your excitemtn!

I mean excitement.

Kholm

Once again, I have transformed bland Shakespearean actor Sir Patrick Stewart into something interesting and terrific and attractive. Now he's better equipped for love than for war!

Remember that episode of Star Trek: Episode Nein where Captain Patrick Stewart encountered the terrifying alien race known as the "Kholm"? Remember that one? And how they accidentally ate his face, and he had to have a new face sewn on? And then he blew up the Kholm planet with his Enterprise Starship? Remember that episode?

Ckholm

May the horse be with you! I have photoshopped (some might say bettered) Patrick Stewart. I made him handsome and capable. My Patrick Stewart smells of vanilla.

Interestingly enough, I once had a school chum called CK (Carl Kenneth) Holm. At least I think that's what his name was. I use "chum" in the very loosest of senses. But anyway. This one's for you, Calle Holm!

Ockholm

May the whores be with you!