I quit writing actual film reviews for SUPERBLOG!! because I realized that no matter how hard I try, I'll never become ROGER EBERT. For one thing, I'm naturally slender. For another, I'm not an insane madman with capital-K Krazy taste in movies. Instead (and like last time) I'll just list the films in order of decreasing suckitude. You will like it just fine, unless you don't, in which case we are both the poorer. Such is life, and now on with the list:
The Limits of Control (2009) [it tried the limits of my patience! Ha! Amirite, ppl?]
Ink (2009) [didn't suck, just wasn't very awesome]
The Long Goodbye (1973) (R) [the only Altman film I've seen that I didn't like very much. It doesn't even get a link!]
(500) Days of Summer (2009) [okay, I'll shut up now]
Will Ferrell: You're Welcome America - A Final Night with George W Bush (2009)
The Frighteners (1996)
Zombieland (2009) [I'll give it three zombies, like so:]
The Mist (2007)
Funny People (2009)
Up (2009)
Du levande / You, the Living (2007)
Enchanted (2007) (R; previously reviewed by me here)
Superbad (2007) (R)
I also watched some seasons of television but I don't know how to fit them in. They were good though:
Mad Men: Season 3 (2009, 13 episodes)
The Shield: Season 4 (2005, 13 episodes)
The Shield: Season 5 (2006, 11 episodes)
The Shield: Season 6 (2007, 10 episodes)
The Shield: Season 7 (2008, 13 episodes) [Ronnie Gardocki, you will always be my hero, even if everyone else takes you for granted.]
All in all, November's watching gets three willises, like so:
Thus we bid farewell to both zombies and willises as ranking tools. Next time, maybe we'll do the same for our old friend Señor Michael Keaton.
This week's watching:
It Happened One Night (1934)
"People in love are very seldom hungry". Brilliant. This is the 52nd IMDb 250 film I've seen this year, and it's the first one to seriously disappoint. It's about a slimy man and an ugly girl (rich) who fall in love. Some say it created the screwball comedy, but what do I care? Frank Capra must die.
Double Indemnity (1944)
In contrast, this was terrific, more or less. Grade: Three Michael Keatons and one Bruce Willis. He's a little bigger than Mike, but I'm sure he'll fit.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
I thought it was a solid three but the ending was great, like, four or five.
Le salaire de la peur (1953)
3 Willises. Hey, have you noticed I've stopped telling you what the movies are about? This one's about the wages of fear.
Diaboliques, Les (1955)
Another 3 Willises (Willis means I don't really mean it.) What do I care about French fuckers? I saved their ass in World War II!
Das Boot (1981)
At 4 hours, 41 minutes (the uncut original version), I should hate this with a passion. But I regard it as a TV series so it sidesteps my "all long movies suck" rule. Good on you, Boot! Anyway, it's a fully realized account of life in a German submarine. I've never forgiven the Germans for WW2, but since this has an anti-war message I'll be generous:
The Great Escape (1963)
Again, as much as I dislike long movies (this one's 2.45), this one just flew by. Very watchable.
Rashômon (1950)
Yojimbo (1961)
Seven Samurai (1954)
Very nice, not my cup of tea, never forgiven the Japanese etc, etc. I'll watch them all again some day and maybe they'll grow on me. I was disappointed in Citizen Kane the first time I saw it, too.
The Pianist (2002)
Haven't we seen it all before? The Holocaust was bad, right? Even for Jews in Poland? I guess I should say something about never having forgiven the Polish for folding in WW2 or whatever. Quite accomplished, but unimpressive.
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Typical Oscar winner: well crafted, sentimental, predictable. If you're an avid movie-watcher you'll likely be able to guess almost every detail of the last 20 minutes or so. My favorite moment: When Hilary Swank's character implicitly states she would rather die than go to college. I know exactly what you mean, Hilary.
Maltese Falcon (1941)
I prefer the book. The casting is perfect except for one major flaw: Mary Astor isn't a knockout.
V for Vendetta (2005) (repeat)
One of several Alan Moore comics to be idiotized for a mainstream film audience. I've written about it before (and misspelled "Hollywood" in the process, I see). There are some small parts that they haven't been able to drain completely of meaning. Valerie's letter is quite moving.
