Almond Paste #2: The Ball Gag

2009 will be the year of almond paste. Happy New 2009!

Fun #26: Swedes

Today in FUN we'll be looking at some famous Swedes.

1 & 2. Lasse Berghagen (Lassie Mountainmeadow) and Loket (The Train). Two extremely popular and respected Swedish television personalities. The Train is the little fat one.


3. Pippi Lockstocking (with friends). Pippi is a fictional character and does not exist at all.


4. Lukas Moodysson. Lukas directed some movies before vanishing into obscurity. He was most famous for sometimes wearing bear-ears in public. In the photo he is using hand gestures to tell his critics to Shut the Fuck Up.


5. Lukas again, seen here with his posse of actors. To the right in the picture is Loa Falkman (Leo Hawkman), one of Sweden's top singers and racenteurs. Loa/Leo is also an actor and a baryton.


6. Bonus Swedish Fun Image! Is is a fake movie poster for a movie called "The Juwes are the men that will not be blamed for nothing" in Swedish. The title could be interpreted as anti-Semitic but I think it is just intended as some good old ripping FUN.

Currently Reading #27

Almond Paste #1: The Mixing

Yes. That's how it began. Me and my friends mixed caramel-paint with almond paste and with our creative minds we made ART. Sexual ART!!! More almond past pictures will surely come to this excellent blog !!

Currently Reading #23-26

Merry Lankar

If, like me, you prefer to spend the Holidays on the Internet instead of with loved ones, here are some hyperlinks you can click on. Each will bring up a different "site" on the World Wide Web! AWESOMA LINK MADNESS. (When was the last time you heard somebody actually use the words "world wide web"? Be honest.)

ALF VS. PREDATOR

Ultimate Fighting Championship FUNNY leg-kick (warning: pretty violent, but sports always are)

Watchmen: The condensed version (Comics for the lazy)

Tales Of The Black Freighter - reconstructed (Comics)

Achewood Just For Me: Cabs are a penny (Comics)

Presidents Izen-Hower and Nee-Xon (Comics covers)

Pass me the grafting serum (Comics)

Snorlax on YouTube (Those guys are trying too hard)

Cultural differences (Joke)

Noe: Ship of Fools (Some cover)

Overheard in New York:
10th wedding anniversary
Tons of coke
Airport

Commodore 64 game of the day (Games)

LOLcat SUPERBLOG!!

Erotic video: Japanese girl shows how to kiss

How many Asians can you fit on a train?:

(Video sent in by Racist Rudolph)

Shocking math: 3 to the power of 4 * 425 = 34 425!! (Math)

The Blog of Mapa Apa! (actually Ma Paapa)

Best name ever (Names)

NOTE: LANKAR is Swedish for links.

Any Day now!!! Almond Paste!!

Yesterday I almost blogged about almond paste! So this means big almond paste Day tomorrow!?
Meeri christmas to all of you from all of me!

The Season of Nutmeg is Upon Us

Ha ha! I was just kidding the other day, it's Christmas as usual - suckers! Have some nutmeg:

In addition to being a common household spice, nutmeg is known for its psychoactive properties as a deliriant. Deliriants are a family of strong psychoactive substances that include datura and amanita mushrooms.

Ha ha! It will fuck you up on Xmas Eve. Both royally and legally! WARNING: May cause dry mouth.

p.s. Santa is dead. Tell yr kids:

Ha ha! That's just a drawing on a 'plane and not an actual squashed Sandy Claws. Santa is alive and well. SANTA CAN NEVER DIE. Try and kill him all you want, it won't take.

Currently Reading #22

(And yes I know the "Recent Comments" widget is weirding out both here and elsewhere but nobody on all the internets knows why.)

Currently Reading #21

Xmas is Xancelled (Weak Fucking Shit)

I've had a horrible, horrible, horrible week. I mean horrible. Five filthy days full of fucking weak shit. Lord knows I've seen plenty of weak shit weeks before, but surely this was the weakest fucking weak shit week in recent memory. Or at least in the top three. Yeah, this week was some weak fucking shit. So: Fuck this week, and fuck Christmas. Fuck Christmas for all the boys and girls. Santa is dead.

God fuck us, every one!
- Tiny Tim

Fun #25: Animals Doing Stuff

A monkey smiling like a stupid ass:

A monkey using a typewriter - just like a human!:

A secret animal hidden in secrecy:

Duck babies dying (presumably):

A bull shoving its horn in a matador's ass (horrendous injuries LOL!):

A dog about to be eaten:

A message from maddox to vegetarians about animals he aims to eat. It would seem to be yet another monkey, a koala, and a bird of some kind:

Those are all the animals for now.

Fun #24: Cars

Look how much FUN you can have with CARS.

CARS.

Almond Paste!

Just so u know. Soon I will blog about almond paste.

The Year of Definitely Not Watching Any DVDs: November, 2008

The Wire: Season 4 (2006, 13 episodes)
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Mad Men: Season 2 (2008, 13 episodes)
GoldenEye (1995)
Love Story (1970)
Låt den rätte komma in / Let the Right One In (2008)
Breaking the Waves (1996)
Mauvaise graine (1934)
The Innocents (1961)
Tomie (1999)
Tomie: anaza feisu / Tomie: Another Face (1999)
Tomie: Replay (2000)
Tomie: Re-birth (2001)
Westworld (1973)
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Futureworld (1976)
Le Locataire / The Tenant (1976)
Tomie: Saishuu-shô - kindan no kajitsu / Tomie: Forbidden Fruit (2002)
The Shout (1978)
Ne le dis à personne / Tell No One (2006)
Shutter (2004)
Les Triplettes de Belleville / The Triplets of Belleville (2003)
Little Big Man (1970)
Saturday Night Fever (1977)
Morte a Venezia / Death in Venice (1971)
Klute (1971)
Falstaff (Chimes at Midnight) (1965)
Don't Look Now (1973)
Shaft (1971)
The Immortal Story (1968)
Fyra nyanser av brunt (2004)
Straw Dogs (1971)
The Exorcist (1973) (R)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Hollywoodland (2006)
Marathon Man (1976)
The Passenger / Professione: reporter (1975)
Enter the Dragon (1973)
Il mio nome è Nessuno / My Name is Nobody (1973)
Macbeth (1948)
La Cage aux folles (1978)
Filming 'Othello' (1978)
Frantic (1988) (R)
L'Aile ou la cuisse / The Wing and the Thigh (1976)
Supervixens (1975)
Die Ehe der Maria Braun / The Marriage of Maria Braun (1979)
Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (1979)
Die Blechtrommel (1979) (R)
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
The Great Gatsby (1974)
Lifeforce (1985)
Le Charme discret de la bourgeoisie / The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)
Don Quijote de Orson Welles (1992)
There Will Be Blood (2007) (R)
F for Fake (1974)
Ultimo tango a Parigi / Last Tango in Paris (1972)
Kes (1969)
ShakespeaRe-Told (2005, 4 episodes)
Jaws (1975) (R)
Karen Sisco (2003, 10 episodes)
The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Laura (1944)

The Good: I don't have to keep telling you how great The Wire is/was, and likewise you probably already know that Mad Men is just about the best thing on television right now. When it comes to movies I watched a lot of 70s classics and most hold up well. Among my best "discoveries" were Don't Look Now and The Shout (from which the image above was taken). The Triplets of Belleville is among the very best animated movies of recent years, and Fyra nyanser av brunt is probably the best Swedish film since... I don't know, Fucking Åmål? (Or... How good was Sånger från andra våningen? I can't remember.) Oh, and There Will Be Blood reigns supreme.

The Bad: The Tomie films were massive disappointments (stick with the manga). Futureworld was, as I said, seriously dumb. GoldenEye, too. But they all pale next too Orson Welles' (not really) Don Quixote - the suckiest fucking movie ever (and I love Orson Welles).

The Ugly: You.

Great Balls of Fire

I'm thinking today we could maybe listen to Jerry Lee Lewis and his pumping piano:

Mr Lewis ruined his career by accidentally marrying his 13-year-old cousin-or-whatever when he was like 22 or 23. Nobody wanted to listen to his rock music after that because they thought he was creepy. Luckily, he found a second career in country music, where his creepiness was a benefit!

His nickname was "The Killer" because he sometimes dressed up as a clown and killed people.

Bonus linkage: Here he is a million years older!

Currently Reading #20

KoalaCam #36: Some Headless Guy

Here's a picture of some headless bastard I met in a hotel room. One thing led to another and I took his photo. What's he doing with his HAND?!? That's not normal.

Currently Reading #19

Fun #23: Lucia Bukkake

Saint Lucy's Day:

Saint Lucy's Day (Sankta Lucia, Saint Lucia) is the Church feast day dedicated to St. Lucy and is observed on December 13. It retains traditional forms of celebration mainly in Scandinavia, parts of the United States and southern Europe. It is celebrated in Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Norway, Finland, Italy, Bosnia, Iceland, and Croatia.

Bukkake:

Bukkake is a sexual practice that features a person being ejaculated on by multiple men.
The term has been used more recently, courtesy of the explosive growth in pornographic films, more expansively to include one or more subjects - either male or female. Bukkake in porn-parlance, also refers to mass ejaculation on any part of the body (not just on the face), or into various types of containers for the purpose of ingestion by the woman.

Fun #22: Only Fun in Swedish

And maybe not even then!

Currently Reading #18: 70s

Attentive SUPERBLOG!! readers may have noticed that I watch a lot of movies so when I accidentally bought Taschen's Best Movies of the 70s and realized that there were quite a few highlights of 1970s cinema that I had yet to ingest, I had to rectify that before I could read the book with a clear conscience. So I did and here we are.

As you can guess from the cover (featuring Liza Minnelli in a still from Cabaret), the book is edited and written by Germans and thus reflects German tastes and perspective. Me, I'd've put Marlon on the cover. But it's still a pretty good guide. Of the 55 films discussed, very few outright suck. Sure, plenty of them wouldn't make my personal Best-of list, but almost all have something to recommend them. The 70s was a good decade for film.

Best Movie Ever?

He's got such cute eyes
He's got gray fur
He's a sweet thing
He's a happy-go-lucky kind of guy
Restructuring, demotion
Nothing lets him down
Extramarital affairs, getting a divorce
The world is beautiful
Go, Executive Koala!
Go, Executive Koala!
You don't want to make him mad
Go, Executive Koala!
Go, Executive Koala!
A world filled with love
Is just ahead of us
Koala
Koala

I think SUPERBLOG!! frienemy Mook was the one who first tipped me off about the existence of this stellar masterpiece and then when The Minoru Kawasaki Collection was reviewed on the AV Club a couple of days later I realized it was a sign from the Elder Gods that I had to see it. Okay, so it's not a masterpiece. But it's okay. It starts with a koala in an office setting. Later on it seems like the koala/salaryman might have mental problems. Possibly he has a violent past. I found the film to be great fun for about the first fifteen minutes, but then I quickly lost interest. That might not be the fault of the movie but rather my short attention span. You should maybe watch the trailer on YouTube to make up your mind if it's something for you to watch. Me, I'll give it three Michael Keatons: