Saturday is Water Torture Day

Oh, pardon me, Mr. "Let's ration everything", but what d'you think we're floating on? Don't you know the poem? "Water, water, everywhere, so let's all have a drink."

- Homer Simpson (not Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

Saturday is lördag in Swedish and was named for washing up. The lör part is originally from the Proto-Germanic word Laugr which means water or water torture. In English the day was named for the planet Saturn which was itself named for the video game consule. Just kidding (HA!), it was actually named for the Roman god of agriculture and harvest and justice and strength. Saturn was pretty much the Supreme Ruler of the Omniverse but he was also a bit of an asshole (which maybe goes hand in hand). He castrated his father Caelus and ate his own children to prevent them from fucking with him (although Jupiter survived, and did indeed fuck with him later on. So one might argue that Saturn was right to try and eat his kids). Incidentally, in Babylon he was called Ninib. Incidentally again, Saturnalia is feast and also a dinosaur.

According to ISO 8601, Saturday is the sixth day of the week, although some contrary Jews and Christians refuse to follow the standard. Throw them to the Lions!

There's a Storm Coming!

Just ask Sarah Connor:



Or Donnie Darko:



Or Harry Potter:



Or even Batman! (maybe):



The storm is a metaphor, see?

Three Best Things Said By Me in Comments on SUPERBLOG!! in 2005

People have like totally stopped commenting on this blog but there was a time when people did and so did I and that time was 2005 and here's 3 things I said:

May 31, "Women on the Internet":

you won't get fucking PUBES in the CAKE if you simply refrain from STICKING YOUR DICK IN IT. It's not rocket science.

October 17, "Superblog!! Enemies #2: The Morally Bankrupt Sammy Sneeze":

It makes you cooler than a sack of cool!

September 11, "Happy Anniversary, Usama bin Laden!":

Personally, I never lend stuff to known terrorists. They die on a mission and then you never get your things back.

2005 was like the golden age of SUPERBLOG!!. Everything since has been a slow crawl towards death.

Xmas is Xancelled (Weak Fucking Shit)

I've had a horrible, horrible, horrible week. I mean horrible. Five filthy days full of fucking weak shit. Lord knows I've seen plenty of weak shit weeks before, but surely this was the weakest fucking weak shit week in recent memory. Or at least in the top three. Yeah, this week was some weak fucking shit. So: Fuck this week, and fuck Christmas. Fuck Christmas for all the boys and girls. Santa is dead.

God fuck us, every one!
- Tiny Tim

Internet Piracy is Good Because it Feels Good

I meant to quote this last November but I didn't but now it's almost November again:

I’ve stolen loads and loads and loads of music, etc. I wasn’t “sampling” every Velvet Underground record. They weren’t being “promoted” when I took their music– they aren’t going to make money from me when the Velvet Underground go on tour. It was stealing. It felt great. I’d do it again, if my current copies got damaged somehow. I bought the Loaded album years ago, and I stole it again anyways. I once shot a man just to watch him die.

Why is that hard for other people to admit???

I know noone likes to see themselves as the bad guy, and likes to talk about how the “MPAA and RIAA are parasites” but– SO ARE YOU. You’re getting revenge on contracts between the MPAA and OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW YOU AND WOULDN’T LIKE YOU IF THEY DID? Thank you, Internet Zorro!

- Abhay Khosla

(No, it's got nothing to do with November. I don't know why I implied it did.)

What We've Got Here is a Failure to Communicate

Apt UK/US Television Comparison of the Day

British TV is like a shit that comes out sideways. It's tightly packed and lovingly crafted, full of proteins and fully-digested solids.
American TV is more like the eager watery rush that follows a meal of asparagus, coffee beans, and sunflower oil.
There's more of it, but some things should be judged by the quality of the experience rather than rapidity and volume.

- a polyamorous young man

Also pictured: Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Jeff is Better Than You

I had to go away for a bit and then I visited one of my worst enemies for a few days and then I've been busy with important stuff but soon my Deadly Summer Vacation will end and SUPERBLOG!! will be back, better than ever and with 150-175 percent more Goldblum. And if I'm just full of shit and it isn't, well, who the fuck cares?

Ma, I feel the old mischief creeping upon me awful strong. You'd better give me a licking.
- Buster Fucking Brown

Inappropriate Film/Terror Comparison of the Day

IMDb board commenter terencefisher on the admittedly shitty remake of Sleuth:

The last time I saw something this offensive was September the 11th, 2001.

Uplifting Sherlock Holmes Quotation of the Day

"Did you see him?" [Sherlock Holmes] asked.
"You mean the old fellow who has just gone out?"
"Precisely."
"Yes, I met him at the door."
"What did you think of him?"
"A pathetic, futile, broken creature."
"Exactly, Watson. Pathetic and futile. But is not all life pathetic and futile? Is not his story a microcosm of the whole? We reach. We grasp. And what is left in our hands at the end? A shadow. Or worse than a shadow -- misery."

   - From "The Adventure of the Retired Colourman"

Superblog!! Quote of the Month (for the month of February, 2000)

Orson Scott Card (pictured above) is the writer of a ton of books, including the pretty good science fiction novel Ender's Game, which, according to Wikipedia, has been used by military colleges as a textbook on leadership. That's some kind of accomplishment, I guess. It's due to be made into a movie in 2006.

The lovely Mr Card is also a mormon, a Bush supporter, and a homophobe. And, as if that wasn't enough, it turns out that he has a really keen understanding of the field of psychology:

"The beginnings of the science of psychology are filled with false prophets like Jung and Freud, people who really set back the science of psychology and had a huge and sickening influence in our culture. They are among the great frauds and evils of our time."

That's fighting talk.