1. Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends
They dance and have fun together. Wait, those are not your friends, Spider-Man! Don't you recognize Dr Ock and that green fellow from the movies? WATCH OUT!
2. Noel Gallagher
Noel was good back when he was grey but when he turned green he and his stupid band started sucking. That fucker!
3. My Little Martian Manhunter
4. My Little Green Lantern
Exactly the same as the manhunter (shown above) (in #3) except this one is a lantern!
5. The League of Batmans
One Batman is good, but 4 Batmen are unbeatable! 5 is even better. Therefore, they are #5 on this list. WATCH OUT!
6. Buttercup
Seen here with her skeleton outside and inside her body. Buttercup could be on the Cartoon Girls I Wanna Nail list but that would be creepy and disgusting because she is clearly portrayed as pre-pubescent.
7. Dr Stwange
Here he is in his civilian identity. That fucker!
8. McFarlane Toys' Cornboy
He is trying to get into Sporty Spice's pants. Korean Hunk wonders who the sexiest spice girl was. (He's voting for Baby Spice.) Error message here.
9. Wonder Woman
Not so wondrous here with AIDS, is she? No, AIDS is not fun. Not a laughing matter. Makes you think.
10. (TIE) Galactus and Dr Doom
10. (TIE) Galactus and Dr Doom
Protecting the ears of America! I remember how Doom (AKA Dr Door) stole Galactus' energy and whatnot in Secret Wars. Which was an awesome, awesome comic book. I am old and I suck.
Those are the top ten superheroes in America today and for all time. Please note that Pepe le Moko was trying to worm his way into this perfect post while I wrote it and he almost managed because he contributed some GREAT words (mostly "That fucker"). Thank you, Pepe!!
3 comments:
One Spider-man beats five Batmen. Take that, Ed Kelly!
I forgot to make it a countdown. Spider-Man was (OF COURSE) supposed to be #10, not #1.
Is this a friend of yours?
Thanks for clearing that up.
No, that's another Ed Kelly. This is the Ed Kelly I was talking about.
Not that it matters now, anyway.
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