SUPERBLOG!! Heroes #1: Samuel "Nails" Nathan

Mister Nathan was based on Samuel Morton, a high ranking member of Dean O'Banion's* Northside gang. He died under a horse, of course.

*Ohh, I hate that lousy Dean!

KoalaCam #39: Sawyerboar Incarnate

Almost every one of you PIGHOLES forgot about my birthday, but the Sawyerboar remembered. The Sawyerboar remembers everything. You wish you had a friend like the Sawyerboar. Here he is standing on top of the Internets.

To sum up:

YOU = PIGHOLE
SAWYERBOAR = SAWYERBOAR

What. Have. I. Done.

I have allowed this blog to descend into complete suckitude. Some might say I even killed it. Yes, Uncle MacSucky is the greater criminal but I goaded him into it. It's true. I told him,

when SUPERBLOG!! is asleep (whereto the rather shall its day's hard journey soundly invite it), its two chamberlains will I with wine and wassail so convince that memory, the warder of the brain, shall be a fume, and the receipt of reason a limbeck only: when in swinish sleep their drenched natures lie as in a death, what cannot you and I perform upon the unguarded SUPERBLOG!!?

That's what I said. And now I need to wash my hands and maybe even kill myself off-stage.

In other news:

Forthcoming novel: Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters (yes, a follow-up to that zombie book)

Wikipedia: Baron Brain, neurologist (that's an aptronym - see, you learned something new today)

YouTube: Wonderman

What does one TRILLION dollars look like? (and also)

100 Things Your Kids May Never Know About (stupid kids!)

And that's not all. Oh wait, it is.

From Meth Addict to Mom!

It's never easy to be a middle child. Did you know the former child star Jodie Sweetin got breast implants and married and divorced a few times and used to be addicted to methamphetamine? You probably did but I didn't. Her boobs turned out fine though:

Jodie Sweetin has gone from the TV show Full House to packing a full house of breasts. If you know what we mean!

Subtle innuendo! Also:

Jodie, 25, appeared on Good Morning America in February 2006, to publicly announce her meth addiction, mentioning that five of her teeth had rotted away.

Teeth loss is always LOL. Also: don't miss her forthcoming book:

Sweetin is currently writing a memoir which is under contract with Spotlight Entertainment, and will chronicle her downward spiral of alcohol and drug abuse that began with the ending of Full House. The title for the book is unSweetined and is due out in bookstores October 6, 2009.

unSweetined! That's the best title ever. No it isn't. Anyway: between Jodie and the Olsen Twins and Bob Saget's filthy mouth, you can probably never watch Full House the same again. But why would you want to?

Videos and Piracy and Comics

Oops, I forgot to blog for a bunch of days. That will be rectified in the following days and weeks and long, dark years. We start today with a few links to things and places on the Internets:

YouTube: My Dick By Mickey Avalon (Lyrics). This was apparently playing over the end credits to episode 2 of Hung, which I downloaded from the Internets. But the evil release group had cut the end credits, as they often do. This is why piracy is wrong.

Speaking of piracy: You wouldn't go to the toilet in a policeman's helmet is satire but at the same time an authentic Don't Copy That Floppy sequel promises prison beatings for copying (via Unfitting). Oh what a world, what a world.

Piracy in Swedish: Kalle Anka utbildar dagens unga i upphovsrätt and pirate remix of same. As I said, it's in Swedish. But still.

Vintage comics: I Loved a Teenage Beatnik (via Journalista)

Another vintage comic, as in from 2007/08: Left Field, a 200+ page baseball comic (I downloaded it six billion years ago but finally got around to reading it. It's good. Incidentally, and just to relate this to the overarching blog post theme of piracy, the author is responsible for this quotation, which is funny even though I personally don't entirely stand behind it. I believe in piracy, just like I believed in Harvey Dent.)

Photo #159: Pig Flu Pig!

Remember the horses? 13 months later... I give you the flu pig! I give and give.

Samuel Beckett's Film

From the Internet Archive via Jog:

A twenty-minute, almost totally silent film (no dialogue or music, one 'shhh!') in which Buster Keaton attempts to evade observation by an all-seeing eye. But, as the film is based around Bishop Berkeley's principle 'esse est percipi' (to be is to be perceived), Keaton's very existence conspires against his efforts

Bradley is Champ!

Playing Bradleyball with Booger Moko in the country, kicking his ass!

The score after 2 innings is 28-23 to the Bradster!

"Tanzanian Witch Doctor": A Comic Strip about a Tanzanian Witch Doctor

I used stripcreator to create a comic strip about a Tanzanian Witch Doctor who buys a house in the Hamptons and then visits a friend to tell him all about it, and the misadventures that happen. Here are parts one through four:

You'll notice that it ends on a cliffhanger. I'm hoping to one day expand the strip into a full-length graphic novel and have it published by Fantagraphics or someone.

Colonel Colonial's Hideous Hideout

"Colonel Colonial's Hideous Hideout". I've always wanted to use that as the title of a book I'm never going to write. And I already did! So I may as well also use it as the title of a SUPERBLOG!! post. This SUPERBLOG!! post, in fact.

And what a SUPERBLOG!! post it is. The shittiest kind of all! Composed solely of INTERNETS LINKS, ranging from...

the marginally entertaining:
John Hodgman at Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner.

via the somewhat interesting:
30 ROCK is a rip-off of THE MUPPET SHOW!

to the (very) slightly amusing:
Gay for Justice?

Only three? Yeah! That's all you get and you'll shut your face and like it. This is summer, so plenty of not many lankar at all (and lousy ones at that) is par for the day. Ha ha summer suxxx & suxxx 2 b u baybee.

KoalaCam #38: I am the Sun

I wrote a poem to go with this picture:

I am the Sun
You are the Moon
You can just reflect my brilliance

What They Made Me Watch in June, 2009

Let me list everything in an order that makes all the sense in the world. In some cases I have provided a link to a place on the internets (often The A.V. Club) where you can find out more.

Prescription: Murder (1968)
Kyrkoherden / The Lustful Vicar (1970)
Ransom for a Dead Man (1971)
Columbo: Murder by the Book (1971) (R)
Columbo: Any Old Port in a Storm (1973)
Columbo: A Stitch in Crime (1973)
Columbo: A Friend in Deed (1974)
Giliap (1975)
All That Jazz (1979)
Near Dark (1987)
Funny Farm (1988) (R)
Quick Change (1990)
Bob Roberts (1992)
My Cousin Vinny (1992) (R)
The Langoliers (1995) (R)
Man on the Moon (1999) (R)
Run Ronnie Run (2002) (Odenkirk on why it sucked)
Crank (2006)
Kabluey (2008)
Martyrs (2008)
Coraline (2009)
Crank: High Voltage (2009)
Good Arrows (2009)
Killshot (2009)

Q.E.D. (1982, 6 episodes)
Mr. Show: Season 3 (1997, 10 episodes)
Breaking Bad: Season 2 (2009, 13 episodes)

If you enjoy this kind of blog post and what to see more of them in the future, please signal by not reacting in any way whatsoever.

p.s. Welcome to the Altered State of Druggachusetts.

Tomas Nosferatuström

Shut up! Here are lankar (goodspeak) AKA links (American) AKA lenkur (Icelandic):

Typical Danish Humor on YouTube. That's Dirch Passer, "Denmark's greatest comedian". I kid you not. Not for nothing are the Danes our arch-enemies.

[Historical aside explicating the class division among Nordic countries! There are five of them: Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland, and Iceland. But:

1. Iceland is so far away from the rest (geographically and mentally) that nobody has ever really cared about their doings. They could start an atomic war and nobody would notice. Sad but true.
2. Finland used to be a (neglected) part of the Swedish Empire, until we lost Finland to Russia in 1809 and then some time later the Finns apparently won their independence.
3. Norway used to be a part of Denmark until we won Norway fair and square in a war in 1814, and then out of the kindness of our hearts we gave them independence in the early 1900s. This was before anybody knew what oil was.

So you see, the only Nordic countries that matter historically are Denmark and Sweden. And there is some bad blood there, partly having to do with the reign of Christian the Tyrant in the 16th century, and also Aqua. Isn't history fun?!]

Darkseid Minus New Gods

[Historical aside explicating class division among the New Gods! No, just kidding.]

Bros before pirates

Spider-Man pissing against a wall

Bill Murray is truly the King of Kings

Fråga 2007/08:968 Filmen Trolltyg i tomteskogen av Karl Sigfrid (m) till justitieminister Beatrice Ask (m) (Swedish)

Why men are never depressed

Some links courtesy of Moko and Spidercrazy, my ONLEY SB FRIENDS, apparently. Moko also made the image above, portraying UNBIASED RODENT Tomas Norström.

This has been a remarkably excellent SUPERBLOG!! post. You are welcome.

"How'd It Get Burned?!?!!"

Compilation clip highlighting the best moments of the 2006 version of The Wicker Man, starring Nicolas Cage as The Bear. I laughed until the tears ran down my face and into my tear bucket.

(Please note that the original Wicker Man is an excellent movie 4 realz.)