The Day That I was Born

Decades ago today, I gave birth to myself. It was a Wednesday. Yes, a Wednesday. No, not this Wednesday. It just feels that way.

Jacko Mess

If you are like me, the first thing you thought when you heard that Michael Jackson had died was, "So who owns the rights to the Beatles songs now?" As of yet there appears to be no clear answer. The Cleveland Leader (my go-to newspaper in matters of Jackson) says that:

Michael Jackson arranged to give Paul McCartney the rights to the Beatles back catalog through his will according to reports published earlier this year. The pair who scored hits together in the mid-1980's with Say, Say, Say and The Girl Is Mine had been feuding for years after Jackson won the rights to the Beatles back catalog

On the other hand, that could be bullshit, and:

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Jackson's debt was around $500 million when he died this morning. A large part of this debt was a $200 million loan secured against his biggest asset - a 50% interest in the publishing rights to his own music and 251 compositions by the world's biggest ever pop group, The Beatles.

Some pundits are speculating that this could lead to all Beatles songs - famously withheld from Spotify - being made available for download via The Pirate Bay.

Biased Judge Not Biased, Says Biased Judge

Unsurprisingly, Sweden's Court of Appeal ruled today that heavily biased Pirate Bay judge Tomas Norström was in fact not biased at all.

"We have reached the conclusion that we do not agree with the conflict of interest claim," appeals court judge Anders Eka told news agency TT.

It need hardly be added that Anders Eka is himself biased, or that anyone still expecting a fair trial for The Pirate Bay is hopelessly naive.

Here's What I'll Do with Your Bones

This Midsummer, I couldn't blog because of a phenomenon known in Swedish as internetskugga. That's a geographic place where there is no Internet! In this particular place, everything was exactly like in Chevy Chase's Funny Farm - a film, which, ironically, is available to watch for free on the Internet. (Extra lazy bastards can view some scenes on Google Video.)

As you do in the country, I spent most of my time thinking about what I'd do with the bodies if I became a serial killer. I came to the conclusion that I would dry them out and then create a bone church like the one in Jan Svankmajer's short film The Ossuary:

Also I would use the nails to build a ship called Nagelfar.

Sex Dog Ripped Off!

You remember my awesome creation, Sex Dog? The crime-fighting multimedia character (part of The Fearsome Foursome) that has been taking the world by storm since last August?

I don't think I'm telling tales out of school when I say that Sex Dog is perhaps the most successful multimedia character since Sherlock Holmes. A single strand of Sex Dog's pubic hair typically earns between 60 and 75 billion dog-dollars every month. Sometimes as much as 80 billion dog-dollars! Or even 82.

As is often the case with brilliant ideas, people want to get a piece of the action by ripping it off in comical booklets. As you know, there is a lot of money in publishing comical booklets nowadays. (Noted booklet author Chris Ware makes 5 or 6 dog-dollars every day. (And he spends it all on Barack!)) So you can imagine my non-surprise when I stumbled upon THIS comical booklet cover:

Obviously, someone else is getting very, very rich off of SUPERBLOG!!'s original Sex Dog concept. I hereby reproduce the relevant solicitation info so you know exactly what not to buy, and when:

BONDS #3

Written, art and cover by Durwin Talon.

"Finale." The bio-weapon project White Rabbit is about to be activated and Faith discovers that her path of vengeance does not end with Hirano. She must stop herself from being consumed by the dark powers behind her accumulating tattoos. To save her soul, Faith must forge new bonds with her murdered father, a mother she kills one tattoo at a time, and a fiance who still clings to hope.

32 pages, $3.99, in stores on Sept. 2.

Con-Fucking-gratulations To No One !

I tried to emergency blog (That's when you blog with no purpose at all) about someone famous having a birthday today but nobody mattered so that one it just fucked itself. Okie. Happy birthday to this one. He doesn't matter. To me.

REG PRESLEY !!! U GO GIRL!!



Wild thing!

Let There Be Lankar

Lankar is Swedish for Links. On the Internets.

Today's most important link is unquestioningly Patrick McGoohan Rotating in his Grave when he thinks about the forthcoming Prisoner remake. Sure, could be good. Ian McKellen isn't cat shit. But it's unnecessary, and you know McGoohan wouldn't have liked it. Or maybe he would, admittedly he was an unpredictable kinda guy. Oh, Patrick McGoohan! You died so that the world might live.

YouTube: Budweiser Porn Ad and an accompanying article in TIME, which references a previous ad, Swear Jar. If you haven't seen them before you can see them now, because this is the Internets.

Horror movies in the news! Inside and Final Destination!

Oh noes, I'm afraid those last linx were in terrible taste. Patrick McGoohan would have killed me! Or at least stared angrily at me. I may as well round out this FAILED link post with an article about sexy Nazi bad girls and a picture of a pussy? Wait, those Nazis aren't sexy! I've failed yet again.

I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain.

Why would you fuck with me?

When I was a kid I was a big fan of the Oz books and when I was an older kid I was an even bigger fan of the super-depressing Return to Oz and when I was the oldest kid I was the biggest fan of HBO's Oz. Later, I realized that Oz (the TV show) maybe wasn't quite as important an artistic achievement as I had previously thought, but I still had some respect for it. That's exactly why I think of better times when I look at some of John R. Neill Oz drawings. Featuring this dude:

What a dude he truly is. Have you ever seen such a dude?

Let's all have Aspergers!

I'm thinking about ordering a book. Hidden Curriculum, the
Practical Solutions For Understanding Unstated Rules In Social Situations
You see, I meet people with Aspergers at work and I need a book in order to treat them and make them more functional. I don't know everything about Aspergers...

I) Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
(A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
(B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
(C) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
(D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

But what I know is that if everybody had Aspergers mankind would already have conquered and colonized the galaxy. Someone should find a way to infect everybody with Aspergers because a world in which everybody had Aspergers would be totally honest and have 100% integrity. Everything would be very fucked up in many ways we still can't imagine but that doesn't matter because things would be like in STAR WARS and we would have death stars.

Breaking News: Mickey Rourke to Look Gay in Gay Movie

USA Today reports that Rourke will play a character known as the Gay Crusader. It will gay the gay gay:

In Iron Gay 2, the scarlet and golden-metaled hero must face an adversary with some amazing gaygets of his own. The Gay Crusader sports a power gay on his chest that looks gay to the gay that Gay Man (Robert Downey Jr.) uses.
"The technologies are definitely related," says director Jon Favreau. "That's part of the gay theme of the film."

April is Wolverine Art Appreciation Month

And somewhere in the world I'm sure it is April, so let's all celebrate by playing What if famous artists painted Wolverine? As evidenced by the link, it would look stupid, but also awesome. Can you identify all the originals? Are you an art snob or a Philistine? Answers on a postcard please.

Epic Win LOL

What did I tell you? What did I tell you? I told you that the Swedish "Piratpartiet" would win and enter the European Parliament, and, lo and behold, the Pirate Party Wins and Enters The European Parliament. We took one seat, or two if the Treaty of Lisbon passes. Which it probably will. But hopefully won't. So there are some mixed emotions there.

In the middle of the tasteful image above is Prime Minister Teddy Freddy Reinfeldt, who I once hailed as a wonderful man of the people. No, wait, I called him "the lesser evil" and joked about "the Iron Fist of Fredrik". Still, I did vote for him once, so I have to bear some of the blame for his nightmare regime. (Hey, that last link leads to the entire movie Nineteen Eighty-Four on Google Videos. Is that legal?)

Image © Copyright Moko the Mook, for all eternity. All rights reserved. Used with permission. If you use it without permission, his crack team of ponténish lawyers will IPRED your ass.

Sweden Loves Pirates

Good morning, ppl. Today is the Swedish National Day, so, as the saying goes, Bow Down Before the Glory of Sweden or Feel the Wrath of the Cenobites. They'll tear your soul apart.

Also of note: Tomorrow is the last day of the European Union election. Hundreds of idiots, and a smaller number of smart people, will be elected to the European Parliament. If SUPERBLOG!! gets its wish, one of those smart people will be Christian Engström of the Pirate Party. And I feel pretty confident. In fact, if the pirates don't take at least one parliamentary seat, I promise to EAT this blog. I won't even print it out, I'll eat it right off the screen!

P.S. If you're Swedish and you want to help me avoid tasting the pixels, you can vote Pirate tomorrow. If you think FRA, IPRED and ACTA are all very bad ideas, voting pirate is the best way to show Swede rage!

Happy Birthday, Justus Jonas!

Justus Jonas was a German Protestant reformer. But he was a totally dishonest charlatan as well because his real name was Jodokus (Jobst) Koch! Just by looking at him you can tell what sort of SWINE he surely was. It amuses be to think that he's looking down at us from Heaven today, a thousand year or so after he died from dyphteria, and seeing how much attention he's getting on the Internets. Could Jonas have predicted the Internets, what with his precognitive powers, and his close relationship with God and all? Modern scientists agree: Yes.

SUPERBLOG!! would like to wish Justus AKA Jodokus AKA The Butcher of Wittenberg a happy, happy birthday. (Also Chuck Klosterman, who, Spidercrazy informs me, looks like a beaver.)

And Happy Deathday, Ronald Reagan! Hope you're drinking tea with Maggie Thatcher in Hell! (Also Dee Dee Ramone. Not drinking tea in Hell, just happy deathday.)

A Message for Uncle (reprise)

Sometimes a message needs to be repeated a few times to really sink in. This is one of those times.

A Message for Uncle

Udo Tuesday #3

Shush! It's UDO TUESDAY!

You remember Udo Tuesday, don't you? Udo Tuesday is that day of the week (usually a Tuesday) when we get depressed and think about death a lot and celebrate some guy named Udo. This time the Udo is (OF COURSE) Udo Steinbach. This Udo is what in German is actually called a Dr. phil.! For real!

Some almost unknown Udo facts (courtesy of an Udo fan site):

• Professor Steinbach AKA Udo was the head of the Near East department of the German Institute for International and Security Affairs (SWP, 1971–74)
  
• Udo was also director of the German Orient Institute / German Institute for Middle East Studies (1976–2006). 
  
• Udo is now a honorary professor at the University of Hamburg and visiting professor at the Center for Near and Middle Eastern Studies (CNMS), University of Marburg (Germany).

U go, Udo!

What They Made Me Watch in May, 2009

I'm sure you've been wondering.

The Last Picture Show (1971)
Angel Heart (1987) (R)
Made (2001)
The Amateurs / The Moguls (2005)
Mamma Mia! (2008)
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)

The Wire: Season 1 (2002, 13 episodes) (R)
Breaking Bad: Season 1 (2008, 7 episodes)

30 Rock: Season 3 (2008-2009, 22 episodes)
Lost: Season 5 (2009, 16 episodes)
The Office: Season 5 (2008–2009, 26 episodes)
Parks and Recreation: Season 1 (2009, 6 episodes)
Pushing Daisies: Season 2 (2009, 13 episodes)
Saturday Night Live: Season 34 (2008–2009, 22 episodes)
Scrubs: Season 8 (2009, 18 episodes)
The Simpsons: Season 20 (2008–2009, 21 episodes)

Now you know for sure.

p.s.I fatted the ones that ruled.

p.p.s. Fatted is what Swedes say instead of bolded.