Moko the Movie

What! A biopic about Mark David Chapman, SUPERBLOG!!'s number five fan?! Unmissable. Sadly, Chapter 27 has been trashed by critics and I have to agree it's pretty bad. Even though it's only 80 minutes long, it seems to go on forever. Imagine! One amusing detail in all the misery though:

Jared Leto gained 62 pounds to play the overweight Chapman by drinking microwaved pints of ice cream mixed with soy sauce and olive oil every night to bloat himself further. At times he had to use a wheelchair due to the stress the sudden increase in weight put on his body. In addition, as a result of the weight gain and loss, Leto has now developed gout in his left foot.

Gout! I'm a busy man so there's no way I have time to write a full review but I recommend the A.V. Club's review (Rating: F) which is a little on the harsh side but basically correct. Be sure to glance over the Comments, because they touch on a variety of subjects. Such as...

Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch:

I wouldn't mind putting it out with... sperm.

Mohandas Gandhi:

he'd take a virgin into his hut and not sleep with her.
he did that a lot. I forget why.
also he could weave on a loom

Potential quotes for the poster:

"Leto floats in...Lohan's...dreary, sordid, worthless..human skull."

If that isn't humor I don't know what is. SUPERBLOG!!'s rating: 1 proud keaton.

P.S. Gout!! D.S.

Happy Rudolph and Smiles All Around!

Yes! Two cheers for the Hess! Rudolph AKA Rudolf celebrates his WHATEVERst birthday today and I want to publicly congratulate him - just like I did last year. (Come to think of it, the entirety of that blog post is just as relevant today as it was a year ago.)

What you see above is not a picture of Rudolph, but it IS a picture of Rudolfo Robinson. It was the closest thing I could find. Mr Robinson is about the same height as Rudolph, they are both too hardcore for society to contain them, and they kind of look alike if you squint.

1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks!

Seeing as how my supposed co-blogger Uncle Sammy seems to have stopped blogging AND he may have infected me with DEATH (or a cold), I hereby inaugurate a new recurring feature called 1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks! It will run for the next couple of years.

Today's reasons:

#1: He is fat.
#2: He smokes.
#3: He doesn't believe in global warming.
#4: He doesn't believe in evolution.

Tomorrow (or soon): Even more reasons why Sammy Sux!

Cartoon © Maybe Chris Riddell.

Assault on Precinct Sammy

Don't you know that when you start a blog with someone, your body makes a promise? Whether you do or not? Don't you know that, Sam? Don't you know that?

Mood of the Day: Slight resentment.

Kick him

Kick! Kick! Kick him!
He owes me 50 crowns.
He misplaced 500 crowns LOL.
He refused to talk the DJ into playing something soothing.
He abandoned us all in our hour of need.
He drives the car that gets us to safety.
He's remodeling his kitchen.
The streets are full of the blood of innocents.
He is the enemy or maybe he isn't.
Kick! Kick! Kick him!

Additional information here? No.
p.s. Rudolph, u r a gud friend! Shine on u krazy diamond!

This is a Slap in the Face

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
death (4x) fuck (3x) rape (2x) fucking (1x)

Ever since its inception, SUPERBLOG!! has been a family blog. There's recipes aplenty for Mom, cars and drinks for Dad, comics and boobs for little boys (and lesbian girls), and horsies and plastic surgery for little heterosexual girls. And now the man says SUPERBLOG!! must be censored just because we occasionally use words like "f**king"? That's racist!

DOWN WITH FASCIST INTERNET.

I Mash Your Face & + Happy Rudolph

I have two things to say and then I'll get away and leave you be.

1) I MASH YOUR FACE. This message is aimed at my ko-blogger, Spammy. He was supposed to blog about the so-called Ikano Drama but has he done so no he has not. Therefore he is gay.

2) HAPPY CONGRATULATIONS, ENEMY NO. 1. Rudolph, or as he is called in his native Swedish, Rudolf, is 70 years old today unless I have miscalculated and he is younger. Rudolf/ph may have destroyed my computer for all time (it is making ominous noices as I type) but I congratulate him nonetheless. Here is a blog post from somewhere that explains everything about Rudy.

3) There is no third item.

The Lesser Evil Reigns Supreme!

Just this once, democracy worked! In accordance with God's plan, Teddy Freddy Reinfeldt beat the snot out of Goeran and is now Benevolent Dictator of Sweden. O, joyous day!

Goeran was perhaps the most prominent of SUPERBLOG!!'s many, many enemies, but we never wrote a comprehensive blog entry explaining exactly why he was Bad For Sweden. And now we won't ever have to, because he is consigned to history's trash heap, and in a year or two nobody will remember him. Because people will be too busy cowering under... the Iron Fist of Fredrik!

SUPERBLOG!! entries mentioning Goeran

SUPERBLOG!! entries mentioning Goran/Göran (alternate spelling)

SUPERBLOG!! entries mentioning boobs

SUPERBLOG!! entries mentioning breakfast