Free Beer / Featureless Mannikins

The shampoo in my hotel room keeps multiplying. Two days ago there were two bottles of shampoo and yesterday there were three bottles and today there are five bottles. This scares me beyond belief.

Today I drank a few glasses (3? 4?) of free wine and then I drank a lot of bottles of free beer and then I was charming. And then they all abandoned me, when I was CLEARLY in need of assistance. I was barely able to walk home and buy some potato chips and check into my hotel room and blog about my experiences. That's how drunk I was!

Oh yeah and I saw some featureless mannikins on my way home and they scared the living daylights out of me.

Drunken David Hasselhoff Lying on the Floor, Trying to Eat a Hamburger

The former Baywatch and Knight Rider mega-actor stars in this six-minute home video from 2007, filmed by his daughter Taylor Ann.



Alcoholism: Both hilarious and heartbreaking!

YouTube commenter "jacksy1980" has this take on it:

Whats so shocking,when i come home drunk i struggle to eat my takeaway. Infact I dont eat it i fall asleep in it,thats why the Hoff is so cool,he can get drunk,take a ride in his car and eat his burgers...legend!

Good Day 2 U Ppl!

SAMMY: I will get a Schnauzer! That's a dog! And I'm in Falun, some call it Hades but I call it Falun.

KOALA: Get away from me, Sir! You are full of coughing germs! And viruses (viri?).

SAMMY: You are a VIRUS Sir. We look at Withnail and I and we drink gasoline.

KOALA: ALL OF HUMANITY IS A VIRUS. Especially YOU!

SAMMY: The HUMANITY !!!!

KOALA: Now 2 find a picture 2 match this EXCELLENT blog post.

Painting © 1653 Sir Toby.

Orson Welles' Proudest Moment

Coming Soon: Drinking, Dancing, and Debauchery!

Well, not a lot of debauchery. And probably no dancing. But drinking!

Drinky Crow in a Metaphor for Life and Work

Or maybe it's a parable.

Make Love Not Sense

Is what I would print on my t-shirts if I had a lot of money and used it to start manufacturing t-shirts.

Jebus. Blur blur blur. Sometimes there's a parrot on my shoulder and it tells me to drink and drink and drink. To drink myself to Stupid and beyond. To keep going hours and hours after my drinking partner has fled to the country. To spend all my money with a smile (albeit strained). Is it the Parrot of Alcoholism? Probably. I'll have to keep it in check with crackers or crack.