Moko the Movie

What! A biopic about Mark David Chapman, SUPERBLOG!!'s number five fan?! Unmissable. Sadly, Chapter 27 has been trashed by critics and I have to agree it's pretty bad. Even though it's only 80 minutes long, it seems to go on forever. Imagine! One amusing detail in all the misery though:

Jared Leto gained 62 pounds to play the overweight Chapman by drinking microwaved pints of ice cream mixed with soy sauce and olive oil every night to bloat himself further. At times he had to use a wheelchair due to the stress the sudden increase in weight put on his body. In addition, as a result of the weight gain and loss, Leto has now developed gout in his left foot.

Gout! I'm a busy man so there's no way I have time to write a full review but I recommend the A.V. Club's review (Rating: F) which is a little on the harsh side but basically correct. Be sure to glance over the Comments, because they touch on a variety of subjects. Such as...

Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch:

I wouldn't mind putting it out with... sperm.

Mohandas Gandhi:

he'd take a virgin into his hut and not sleep with her.
he did that a lot. I forget why.
also he could weave on a loom

Potential quotes for the poster:

"Leto floats in...Lohan's...dreary, sordid, worthless..human skull."

If that isn't humor I don't know what is. SUPERBLOG!!'s rating: 1 proud keaton.

P.S. Gout!! D.S.

Fun #7: Dog Doomed Twice

No, you're not seeing double!! There are twice as many pictures today as usual, and they are remarkably similar, though not identical. If you look closely you can spot a few subtle differences. You go ahead and do that now.

This image is funny because it portrays a small dog about to be squashed by a very fat person. The person may be fat because he/she eats too much, or it may be that he or she has a glandular problem. It might be a serious medical condition, and since this photo was taken several years ago, maybe the person is dead now. Either way, the image is very funny.

This concludes Dog Week here at SUPERBLOG!!

1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks!

Seeing as how my supposed co-blogger Uncle Sammy seems to have stopped blogging AND he may have infected me with DEATH (or a cold), I hereby inaugurate a new recurring feature called 1001 Reasons Why Sammy Sucks! It will run for the next couple of years.

Today's reasons:

#1: He is fat.
#2: He smokes.
#3: He doesn't believe in global warming.
#4: He doesn't believe in evolution.

Tomorrow (or soon): Even more reasons why Sammy Sux!

Cartoon © Maybe Chris Riddell.