KoalaCam #23: Patrick McGoohan

I am not a number, I am a free man, but if I were a number I would be 23.

Celebrate the Good Times!

No, it's not my co-blogger Unky Sammy's birthday (and he's not 200 years old anyway, he's closer to 60). But I wanted to post this to congratulate Sam on actually blogging MORE than I have over the last week. That is almost unheard of. Sure, I've been out of town, saving the universe (in style), but that's a poor excuse. I'm sure I could have blogged if I wanted to (though it might have meant a few orphans starving). In contrast, Sam, normally the laziest laze who ever lazed, has kept things semi-going on SUPERBLOG!! Good for him.

But! Now times are going to change around here! Oh yes sir indeedy. Because I, the elusive Koala M. (no, that's too obvious, make it "K. Mentala") will start blogging again. Soon! And it will be good. Very shortly.

Any day now. Watch the skies.

The image was one of many posted by Spurgeon yesterday, on the occasion of Jack Kirby's 90th birthday. If he had lived, which he didn't. Which is a shame.

Today's Ingmar Lank

http://bergmanbits.com/

We have tried to gather links to all of his movies in a format called BitTorrent.

More Ingmar here and there.

Zappa, Bush and Bobby

I liked this video because I like Bush and I like Frank Zappa and I think that this blog needs more of both Bush and Zappa and I also find it funny that Bush is like presented like a homo in this video and why is that funny you ask and I say that I don't know but maybe it's like funny anyhow but Zappa was cool and it's too bad that he died in prostate cancer which reminds me of the letter I got from American Express Incurances where they offered me to pay like 10 dollars per month and if I was diagnosed with prostate cancer I should get 7000 dollars and lollipops and stuff but I declined since I refuse to believe that I of all people in the world should get such a stupid disease.

Photo #145: Cat

This is a cat.

The Year of Watching DVDs, Part 24: Tune Into Sanity FM

I watched the entire IMDb top 250 list and now I'm watching everything else. All reviews so far.

Red Dwarf Series I (1987) (6 episodes)
I'd seen most of the Red Dwarf episodes before, but I wasn't sure exactly which ones I'd missed so a few weeks ago I got it into my head to watch them all in order. In case you don't know, it's a low-budget britcom about the last human alive on a space ship three million years in the future. In the first season, there's three other main characters: Cat, a descendant of Lister's cat; Rimmer, a hologram of his dead bunk mate; and Holly, the ship's senile computer. The humor in these early episodes relies for the most part on the "odd couple" dynamic between Rimmer and Lister. It's kind of fun. The theme song is great. Craig Ferguson guest stars in one episode. I don't know what else to say.

Red Dwarf Series II (1988) (6 episodes)
Similar to the first series. Here's an interesting thing: In the episode "Kryten", the "Mc" has been removed from Rimmer's line "they've got less meat on them than a Chicken McNugget". "Better Than Life" spoofs the mermaid problem. The series finale has an excellent cliffhangerish ending. My favorite: "Thanks for the Memory" about love and loss and fake memories.

Red Dwarf Series III (1989) (6 episodes)
The third series changes the status quo. There's a new cast member (Kryten returns, played by a new actor), Holly's had a sex change, everyone has new clothes and there's more and better fx. Still, my favorite of the season, "Marooned", is all about character and dialogue. Another episode, "Timeslides" has a bit part by Ruby Wax and one of Rimmer's all-time best lines: "It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard."

Red Dwarf Series IV (1991) (6 episodes)
Red Dwarf always played fast and loose with continuity (and Rimmer's status as a hologram is rarely treated in a consistent way), but here's where it started getting obvious. Now Lister is from the 23rd century - it was the 21st in the first couple of series - and he used to date Kochanski, whereas previously it was established that he spoke a total of 173 words (or something) to her. But I guess it doesn't matter. All in all, this is not a very good season, with one major exception. "Dimension Jump", which introduces Ace Rimmer, is one of the all-time great episodes, and even a little poignant. "Meltdown", another Rimmer-centric ep, is a bit fun too.

Red Dwarf Series V (1992) (6 episodes)
Om average, better than IV. Continues exploiting Rimmer's inner demons in "Holoship" and "Terrorform". "Quarantine" is fun. Standout episode: "Back to Reality". I've always been a sucker for "it was all a lie and nothing is real" twists (at least when it's handled with more finesse than in say, the Matrix movies). That one guest stars Lenny Von Dohlen who was in Twin Peaks, including Fire Walk With Me (which I have yet to review, even though I saw it awhile ago).

Red Dwarf Series VI (1993) (6 episodes)
Once again, the basic setup of the show is changed. The ship has been stolen, thus no Holly, and in the episode "Legion" Rimmer's light projector is converted to "hard light drive" through a deus ex machina. There's a surprising amount of running jokes (mostly Rimmer misquoting Space Corps Directives, since he was given the book by Kryten in "Quarantine"). The Cat has always been boring, but this season I started to wish he'd die or quit or something. Even the guest appearances (in "Emohawk") of Ace Rimmer (everybody's favorite character) from "Dimension Jump" and Duane Dibbley from "Back to Reality", seems a bit cheap. But there's one excellent episode: "Rimmerworld". Chinese worry balls! The series finale has the show's first genuine cliffhanger ending: an explosion and the words "To Be Continued".

Red Dwarf Series VII (1997) (8 episodes)
Four years later, the show returns, minus a studio audience and writer/producer Rob Grant (half of the Grant Naylor team) but with original director Ed Bye back. It's noticably less witty, the humor more forced. A prologue, explaining what happened after the explosion, is both unsatisfying and predictable, and what's worse, unfunny. "Tikka to Ride" is mostly horrible. How did they travel in space (to Dallas) with the time drive? It was firmly established in the last episode that they couldn't. And if they now have that capability, why don't they use it to return home to Earth? Ep 2, "Stoke Me a Clipper" has a lot of Ace Rimmer so it can't be all bad. But it continues the season 7 tradition of really huge plot holes: why were all those dead Rimmers in "our" dimension? Ep 3 retcons Lister's birth to the 22th century (rather than the 21st or 23rd) and replaces the departed Rimmer with a parallel dimension version of Kochanski, played by another actress than before. She's an inadequate substitute for Rimmer, and the episode has an idiotic "twist" towards the end. Ep 4 has lots of talking and very little humor (it suffers in comparison with season 3's "Marooned"). Lister's dream in ep 5 is great, as is the Rimmer song, but it's not enough. If there weren't so few episodes left, I'd have stopped watching here.

Red Dwarf Series VIII (1999) (8 episodes)
Again, there is a massive upset of the status quo. A huge deus ex machina in the form of nanobots has resurrected the ship and the entire crew, including pre-hologram Rimmer. I was skeptical at first - the premise is basically "fun in prison" - but for some reason it makes me laugh more than the other series. It's just so willfully stupid and clever and derivative and unique at the same time. And the cliffhanger ending, showing (finally!) Rimmer's encounter with the Grip Reaper, is satisfying. I think a lot of people would say that this is where Red Dwarf firmly jumped the shark, but I'd argue that actually happened six series before, so I don't care. If there's ever a ninth series, I'll watch it.

Oh, by the way, here's the Michael Keaton rating:


(Yes, I watched 52 episodes of something I only consider okay. What's it to you?

Video #1: Anna Book Rocks Fat on Ship of Death!!

Yes! We're fucking video capable now we SUPERBLOGGERS! It's Anna Book! The video was shot on our first journey with the Ship of Death. Or maybe it was our second journey. It was not the third. Anyway. Here's Anna Again and again and again!! As you might notice Anna Book has a huge place in the heart of SUPERBLOG!! so she got the honor of being the subject of analysis in the first video EVER POSTED here at SUPERBLOG!! You rock Anna!!

UPDATE!! When I said first video EVER POSTED I meant first video with original SUPERBLOGGING content EVER POSTED but most of you dumbasses understood that, right?

The Return to Brokeback Mountain

Love is a force of nature Mr. Владимир Владимирович Путин

Uncle's Hidden Agenda

Surf the Internet.

Take care of Baby Sammy and simultaneously build a fence.

Eat lunch and simultaneously watch Deadwood, third season.

Go to town, buy stuff.

Go home, drive car like crazy.

Maybe build some more fence.

Watch Deadwood, third season.

Go to sleep and simultaneously watch Deadwood, third season

UPDATE!! I did it all!

The Year of Watching DVDs, Part 23: Not Simpsons Good

I watched the entire IMDb top 250 list and now I'm watching everything else. All reviews so far.

The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Here's what I think, and you'll forgive me for being a bit incoherent because I've had a strange day - not in a very good way - and I'm tired and I'm hungry and I hate everybody in the Universe (including YOU) and you know how it is: The Simpsons Movie is good, but not as good, in fact, nowhere near as good as it rightfully should be. By which I mean: It's not Simpsons good.

Of course, The Simpsons itself (one could argue) hasn't been Simpsons good in about a decade. Speaking of which, pardon me while I interrupt this review with another review which I should have published in, I think, June, but never did:

---

The Simpsons, Season 18 (22 episodes)
What happened to this show? It used to be better than everything in the world and now it's merely better than almost everything on TV. The problems, as I see it, are two:

1. Everything's been done. Sometimes twice. At this point, even new good episodes remind me of similar, better episodes from past seasons. I'm starting to feel it should have ended about ten years ago. Season 8 had several all-time great episodes that, taken together, seemed to wrap up the show. Remember "You Only Move Twice"? "Hurricane Neddy"? "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer"? "The Old Man and the Lisa", which almost changed the status quo of the show. "In Marge We Trust" - with Mr Sparkle (video link)? And "Homer's Enemy", possibly the darkest episode ever, in which we get to see what it would really be like to have Homer as a co-worker. Plus, the penultimate episode of the season was "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase", almost an epilogue. Artistically, it wouldn't have been a bad idea to have ended The Simpsons back then.
2. In the early 10th season, Phil Hartman was shot to death by his wife. Which meant, no more Troy McClure, no more Lionel Hutz, etc, etc.

So it stumbles along, year after year. Most episodes are good, very few are worse than okay. And sometimes it surprises with a truly excellent episode. But those get fewer and farther between with each season. Regretfully, I'll give this season three Michael Keatons:

---

A couple of the episodes I mention above actually sprang to mind while I was watching the film. Albert Brooks' voice for the government guy reminds me of the far more interesting character Hank Scorpio. Homer's spiritual odyssey is not as good as the one with Johnny Cash. And it goes on and on. Homer's adoption of the pig is less funny than his relationship with Pinchy. Marge leaving seems like a weak copy of the "complete and utter dependence" episode. Jumping over a cliff with a bike is not as cool as jumping over a cliff with a skateboard.

But the weakest part of the movie was the inclusion of Arnold Schwarzenegger. What's wrong with Rainier Wolfcastle? And by the way, Maggie said her first word long ago. All in all, it was the Worst. Movie. Ever.

No, wait. I liked it just fine. But I didn't love it. And a Simpsons movie you can't love is a betrayal worse than when Judas ratted out Jebus. The producers should hang themselves in shame, and leave all their money to me.

Orson Welles' Proudest Moment

Carla Gugino's Breasts Cast in Watchmen

Exciting Carla Gugino Boob News! The Beat reports that the Hollywood Reporter reports that SUPERBLOG!!'s favorite actress will play Sally Jupiter AKA Silk Spectre in the wholly unnecessary film adaptation of Watchmen, the classic graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.

Incidentally, the daughter of Gugino's character will be played by Canadian supermodel Malin Akerman, who was born in Sweden, which is the same country that several members of the SUPERBLOG!! staff currently live in. What are the odds?

Insidiously, did you know that this SUPERBLOG!! post (about Carla Gugino's non-censored tits in the Sin City movie) is one of our all-time most popular posts? That one gets, like, five hits every year! Go figure.

Other sexy Carla Gugino posts can be found here, here, here, here and here, but not here, because that last link is about banned Swedish license plates. Yeah, I just wanted to end this fucking post on something stupid and random.

Photo #144: Hemp - The Destroyer of Lives and Marriages

Saw a beautiful field of hemp when I took the neighborhood crop tour . Vote Hemp is a site advocating to remove barriers to industrial hemp farming in the U.S.

Hemp has absolutely no use as a recreational drug.

..and that's why it's The Destroyer of Lives and Marriages.

I Draw Life

I don't feel like making Michael Keaton return today so here instead is something I drew. I call it "Life". Hope it makes you cry.

Stuff

Tomorrow Michael Keaton Returns to SUPERBLOG!!. Unless I change my mind. For now, here's a blog post which I'll label "slask".

SUPERBLOG!! Cartoon of the Day: A New Bunny. I can't remember if I ever linked to this so I'm doing it now again unless I never did in which case I'm doing it for the first time ever.

SUPERBLOG!! Site of the Day: Tommy Corn's blog. Ha ha! It's just Marky Mark in disguise.

SUPERBLOG!! Game of the Day: Eight letters in search of a word. Playing games is good.

SUPERBLOG!! Comic Strip of the Day: To be quilted by Mr Quilt! Teh horror!!

Speaking of comical booklets, Abhay is my favorite comics reviewer because he makes me think. Here he is with the SUPERBLOG!! Quote of the Day:

You can say "I just want something that entertains me" but does being entertained in this particular way make you smarter, faster, cooler, more popular, more successful? Bottom-line: if you had to kill a deer, right now, with your hands-- could you snap a deer's neck with your bare hands? Or if you were walking down the street, and a fucking elk came charging at you, could you drop that elk with a kung-fu chop to the elk's forehead, and then pass your genetic information into the elk's womb, and give birth to a new species of man-elk hybrid?

p.s. The likeness of Michael Keaton above was drawn by Steve Murray AKA Chip Zdarsky and stolen from Canada's National Post by ME.

I Wanna be Like Osama

An Exciting New Direction for SUPERBLOG!!

Day 5 of the Ingmar Bergman Death Watch. But enough about that. It's time for something new. Over the next 9 days, SUPERBLOG!! will take action to become THE (or should I say TEH) leading blog in its niche. For each day, we'll take one of this site's nine super strategies to heart, and do what we can to improve SUPERBLOG!! in every way possible. By doing this, we hope to get a lot of new readers and trick more people into clicking our ads, so we can make a lot of money and thus be able to donate more to charity and possibly help find a cure for cancer. You with me? Good.

Today we start with advice number 1:

Focus on Building a Reputation. While products can easily be replicated, a strong reputation or brand is nearly impossible to appropriate without much effort. Brand your website consistently and focus on satisfying your customers or site visitors by generously offering support and free information.

Huh? Yeah... sounds good, I guess. We're branded and stuff, aren't we? Do you people want support and free information? Cos if you do, let us know and we'll try to help you out. For sure. We can... tell you stuff, or something. Bah. I'm already bored with this idea, there's no way I can keep it up for nine days. It sounded like a good idea when I started writing, but I'm not too proud to admit I didn't think it through (to be honest, I only read the title of that page I linked to). Fuck this shit. I'm gonna have a beer.

Tomorrow: Another exciting new direction for SUPERBLOG!! (or not)

Photo #139-143: Whin the beer wis getting delivurd, the beer man broatit oana kert, which wis pull'd buy the biggest fuckin white hoarse in the wurld

That's Troon. I kno that and yoo kno that. U kno u luv it.

Trains from Troon.

It's Harland. He knew things about chicks.

We were all dizzy just watching him.

Thare's mare whare that camefae.

This Also Just In: Falun on Fire

Angry mob protesting against the death of Ingmar are burning shit in Falun. Most of the city now on fire. Koala reportedly alive but will most likely go up in flames too..