Monday, October 31, 2005

How to Get Your Blog More Attention



#1A) Stop calling it Superblog!!, start calling it SUPERBLOG!! - all caps, baby. Aside from making your blog's name more visible on that super-electric highroad of infotainment I like to call the Internet (Väbbylafskjet in Swedish), it has the added benefit of irritating people.

This is what we in the industry call a Good Thing, because (listen up, kids) most people are assholes who deserve to be irritated. If I had the time, I would personally go around to people's houses with a big blackboard and scratch it with my fingernails, producing extremely annoying noices. Writing SUPERBLOG!! in capital letters is, to my mind, the next best thing.

#1B) Urge everybody you know on the Interwebby to call it SUPERBLOG!! as well. Criticize them strongly if they still write it as Superblog!! or, even worse, "Superblog!", "Superblog", "Super Blog", Sperm Blog", or somesuch suchlike. Call them "fuckfaces", and "mongoloids" and tell them that failure to comply with this new directive will earn them a date with Death. (And I don't mean the cute goth chick, I mean the guy with the scythe.)

#2) Have a beer. You've earned it.




SUPERBLOG!!: Making The Universe A Far Better Place, A Few Molecules At A Time

22 comments:

Goo said...

fine, criticize me all you want but its still Superblah! to me. call me a mongoloid until your face turns blue. i dont care. i will not conform. but unfortunately, i will continue to read this crap.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN MY AMERICAN PEOPLE!

do swedes celebrate halloween? hmmm probably not. they probably are celebrating sex with goats or something weird like that. those damn preverted swedes.

Koala Mentala said...

Yes and no. Halloween in Sweden is similar to Christmas, in that it's a weird amalgamation of an old goat-fucking holiday (yuletide), Christian myths (the birth of Jebus), and commercial traditions (Good and Evil Santa).

Basically, small kids trick or treat, older kids drink a lot, their parents visit the graves of dead friends and relatives, and their grand-parents try to conjure up Satan.

Mr. John Steed said...

Wise Advice. I'll try and then tell you.

The Stalker said...

Sounds like American Halloween! But Goo still rules, go Goo and I am not just saying it because she is American.

Moocko said...

And sometimes smaller kids drink a lot and rob the elder, who just want to get home from work and watch some stupid horror marathon on Kanal 5.

Happy Helloween everybody!

Moocko said...

And sometimes smaller kids drink a lot and rob the elder, who just want to get home from work and watch some stupid horror marathon on Kanal 5.

Happy Helloween everybody!

Goo said...

Scott, there's something a little brown there on the tip of your nose dude.

:)

Sara said...

The link to your blog from mine has been fixed. Seriously. I'm totally SUPERBLOG's bitch.

Koala Mentala said...

Sara wins. But each and every one of you could be SUPERBLOG!!'s bitch if you put your mind to it. It's just a question of giving up your old boring lives and dedicating your new cool lives to doing SUPERBLOG!!'s bidding. Now doesn't that sound exciting?!

The Stalker said...

werd up now, I don' wants ta be superblog'sbeeotch! Thanks fo' da offer but I don' jet dat way - not saying dere iz anythin' wrong wiff it.

Goo dat hurts, ah shall remember dat insult just like mammy.

Moocko said...

It's quite interesting how some silly whores (not mentioning any names), really declare themselves as dedicated SB!!-cocksuckers, when everyone knows that I've got my cookies on this ballsy blog, providing digital ad-gifts and such, like I was some fucking free internet toy store!
Speaking of pleasures - how come I am the only SUPERBLOG!!-fan who ever mentions the Christian Evil Comics?

Sara said...

Everyone knows you are SUPERBLOG!!'s man whore, Moockie. No one is challenging that.
You are also the only SUPERBLOG fan who mentions the Marco Polo comics, too.

Moocko said...

Yeah, but if you really love the SB!!-cock, how come YOU aren't screaming for MARCO and the others? Do you think the Evil Comics are crap? Are you, in all your glory, going to state the definitive and horrible truth here, once and for all? That there is something about SUPERBLOG!! you DON'T LIKE?

Matthew said...

TYPING IN ALL CAPS ON THE INTERNET IS LIKE SCREAMING AT PEOPLE ON THE SUBWAY! EXCEPT THAT IT'S EASIER TO HIDE MY ERECTION!

Koala Mentala said...

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR HEROIN.

Afe said...

Hey. What's happened to Superblog!!? New graphic, new shouting name. This blog is getting too cool for me now. You guys have sold out to your success. It used to be about the blog, but now it's all about the money.

Koala Mentala said...

The new logo is just something I whipped up in five minutes in Photoshop. The idea was to create a proper logo as soon as I found the time. It still is, I guess.

SUPERBLOG!! was always too cool for you, "Afe". If that IS your real name.

brbme

Afe said...

My real name, in its native dialogue, is unpronouncable to the human tongue and requires the ability to flap your ears to get the correct sound. I just thought calling myself Afe would be easier.

katiedid said...

Not only am I not going to capitalize my link, but just to spite you, I am going to demerit one exclamation point. Or not. That would require expending extra effort, something I'm strongly opposed to.

Koala Mentala said...

For this, I will destroy the universe.

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