Moko (stay by your cocoa!) made this after I told him about whatever the hell it was I told him about. I can't remember. But Moko remembers! When he tells me I'll update this post with all relevant facts and you will proudly exclaim "Confused? Not me!!"
UPDATE SEVERAL DAYS LATER: It appears that the memory of the xenomorph/Back to the Future connection has largely been lost in time. One might almost say, like tears in the rain. Time for something else.
Dear Diary: Here is a riddle for you: Why am I such a FAIL? How is it possible that a person of such awe-inspiring awesomeness as me, I, can simultaneously be the single largest piece of FAIL to ever graduate from FAIL Academy? (And is there even such an institution?! Or is the diploma on my wall just a clever forgery?)
I am tired and I wish I were a different person. I have lost my sense of humor.
Yes. I live. One day I will be here every day. Another day I will blog every other day. That day is not here yet. Now I must watch IDOL.
Just ask Sarah Connor:
Or Donnie Darko:
Or Harry Potter:
Or even Batman! (maybe):
The storm is a metaphor, see?
What with all the excitement and sadness of Patrick Swayze dying, SUPERBLOG!! somehow missed that Titus perished on the very same day:
Titus was born on 24 August 1974. He was named by gorilla researcher Dian Fossey, who was observing his group at the time, after the eponymous protagonist of the Mervyn Peake novel Titus Groan. When Titus was four years old a blackback male joined his group and was named 'Beetsme' by Fossey
[...]
Titus appears to have formed a bond with Beetsme and the pair became the nucleus of an unstable bachelor group. The group was without females for eight years, during which time they were observed engaging in homosexual behaviour.
What the what! However, it should be noted that Titus eventually overcame his gayness to sire "more children than any other gorilla on record". Although he may have had to fantasize about male gorillas to perform the actual penetrations - science isn't sure. But it's still an inspirational story! And now Titus is dead!
Have you ever seen such an evil tree?
It is a pine, I think. Or it could be a beech tree. Or something else. Who can say, really? Only God can tell one type of tree from another, as the saying goes.
Note: not to be confused with a stupid tree. The evil tree is sharp as a tack. Smarter than most ppl I know, in fact. Probably smarter than you.
Are you smarter than a tree?
Bradley Cooper, perhaps the greatest movie star and human being of the 21st century, has a new hit movie out called All About Steve. Presumably, Cooper plays Steve! And since the movie is all about Steve, you know watching it must be like hanging out in Bradley Heaven. Critics everywhere agree that:
All About Steve is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her.
It's 5% fresh! And has a metascore of 17, indicating Overwhelming dislike. Yes, don't miss out on what Rolling Stone calls an "unwatchable, unbearably unfunny farce", and Boston Globe describes as "a plague best contemplated from many miles away".
Sandra Bullock is also in the film.
This time I decided to order everything from SHIT to HIT. No, wait, I'm gonna start with "Kill Me Now" and see where we go from there.
KILL ME NOW:
Hearts in Atlantis (2001)
Anemic, sentimental adaptation of the Stephen King novel (actually only covers one or two of the five stories in the book).
KILL ME SOON:
Mission: Impossible (1996)
Silly, super-predictable, and - worst of all - pretty boring. How can a movie called Mission: Impossible be boring? Is Brian De Palma be the worst director in the world? (Of course not! He's the man behind the awesome Body Double, lest we forget.) Okay, so there is one sequence, set at CIA HQ, which is kind of effective, but that's about it. At least it's better than the sequel.
True Blood: Season 1 (2008, 12 episodes)
Improbably mediocre. I had high hopes for this (I like most of Alan Ball's previous work), but it never lived up to its potential.
Birthday Girl (2002)
The perils of Russian mail-order brides.
Columbo: Negative Reaction (1974)
Photographer Dick Van Dyke shoots his nagging wife. Some Columbos are fairly great, some are okay. This one is okay.
Columbo: Forgotten Lady (1975)
Former star Janet Leigh wants to revive her career.
Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)
Quirky dramedy. Enjoyable but slight, and way too precious.
MAYBE LET ME LIVE:
Silent Running (1972)
Pretty unlikely eco-science fiction.
Bad Lieutenant (1992)
Starring Harvey Keitel as a good-natured and morally upstanding policeman. Just kidding. Did you know it's being remade by Werner Herzog with Nicolas Cage?
Green Lantern: First Flight (2009)
Direct-to-DVD Timmverse animated film. Fun.
Gregory's Girl (1981)
Charmingly Scottish, with bizarre 80s hair.
Redbelt (2008)
Martial arts drama by Mamet.
OKAY, I'M READY TO EMBRACE LIFE BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THIS STUFF COULDN'T HAVE BEEN BETTER IF IT TRIED HARDER:
John Adams (2008, 7 episodes)
Pretty good chronicle of US Prez No 2, one of the more anonymous Founding Fathers. Tom Wilkinson's Benjamin Franklin repeatedly steals the show.
Heist (2001)
Written and directed by David Mamet. Plus, Gene Hackman stars, so you know it can't be too shabby.
Duplicity (2009)
Corporate spy story by Tony Gilroy. Smart and often surprising, but ultimately both a little too convoluted and a little too predictable. (Some people might have a problem with Julia, too. But I thought see worked okayish.)
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)
Depressing and titalicious crime drama, with great performances. Nice direction for an 83-year-old. If the film had a forehead I would stamp good-not-great on it. And not in reverse because it's too late to teach Sidney Lumet a lesson. He just does his stuff.
Observe and Report (2009)
AKA Seth Rogen, Dark Mall Cop. Unexpectedly hilarious. Strange.
Mission: Impossible III (2006)
By far the best in the series. Nothing special, just solid Hollywood entertainment. About the level all $150 million movies should be at.
Adventureland (2009)
Mellow and extremely likable coming-of-age comedy from the director of Superbad. Full of great 80s music. (No, that's not a contradiction in terms, asshole.) (Okay, so maybe it is. But what was it Walt Disney said about multitudes? I mean Whitman.)
SO I GUESS I'M DOING LIKE RENTON IN TRAINSPOTTING:
Oleanna (1994)
David Mamet-directed adaptation of his two-person play. William H Macy is a college professor accused of sexual harassment. Not very cinematic but brilliantly written.
Recount (2008) (R)
Extremely well-cast and surprisingly fascinating depiction of the 2000 US election.
The Hurt Locker (2008)
US Army bomb squad adventures in 2004 Iraq. Although not entirely belivable, it's still a very-nearly-great movie.
Brick (2006)
Hardboiled detective story played by high school kids. Uh, that makes it sound like shit, doesn't it? But it's not shit, it's fucking gold. Gold I tells ya!
The Thick of It: Series 1 (2005, 6 episodes)
Brilliant satire of British government. Over-the-top and absurd, yet disturbingly realistic. I was led to this by...
In the Loop (2009)
Smart and very funny British political satire by Armando Iannucci. One of my favorite films of the year so far, and likely to remain at or near the top when the dust settles. (There's going to be a war, see? A war for my affection, fought by movies everywhere.)
KILL ME NOW*:
In Treatment: Season 2 (2009, 35 episodes)
Gabriel Byrne as therapist with problems of his own. Aside from The Wire, this is HBO's best series in years. (So obviously it gets a fraction of the audience of the super-flawed True Blood. That's just the way the world works, I guess.) I miss some of the old patients (actually, I miss all of the old patients) but the new actors are even better and overall this season is sharper, faster paced, less overly dramatic and more real. There probably won't be a third season, but maybe that's for the best. There's nothing left of the Israeli original to adapt, and besides, you should quit while you're ahead.
As a sort of mashup of the God-Election and Obama is King, I decided to create this monstrosity of a poster image. It depicts (hopefully) our next God, Gozer the Gozerian: Destructor, Traveler, and Man about Town. Gozer, Bon Vivant!
Like Ivo Shandor (the famous early 20th century architect and physician), SUPERBLOG!! is a fanatical Gozer worshiper. Vote Gozer!
I happened to mention in conversation yesterday that there is a GOD-ELECTION coming up in Sweden and I thought I would follow up with a short blog post about this phenomenon. Firstly: to all doubting Thomases: yes, it's true. We Swedes will have the opportunity to vote for our own God. I am voting for Gozer Gozerian AKA Volguus Zildrohar. He deserves my vote. If the Lord of the Sebouillia can't bring light into this era of darkness, who can? Believe in Gozer the Traveler!
(In reality I am not going to vote at all because I don't believe in any, let alone the, God. But I'm still a member of the state church because it is part of my cultural heritage and also because I don't want to miss out on that fat check when the priests decide to sell off all the church's assets to finance their cocaine-fueled altar boy abuse orgies. Or CFABAO for short. p.s. Say no to rape!)
Look who's peeking out from under his little hat! Why, it's Mr Cokester Jokester himself, Clant Eastwood!
