Countdown to FUN -1!

It's high time to reserve your FUN PASS if you want to join the TRAIN OF FUN! Check back next year for further information. SUPERBLOG!! GUARANTEE: Your mind WILL be blown! Or your money back.

Pickering and Higgins to all of you!

Petter & His Four Goats #5: Blues

Second goat was named Blue.

Lucky Ducky

This blog post is an unauthorized reproduction of a comic strip from Ruben Bolling's Tom the Dancing Bug. The strip is called "Lucky Ducky". The lucky duck in the strip reminds me of my co-blogger, Uncele Samele.

Beergate Total: 14 Beers!

That's including Christmas Eve but excluding Christmas Day. If we include Xmas Day it's 15. Fifteen! What I'm talking about is BEERGATE. Remember The RULE, super-agreed upon by all parties? Here it is:

Every day you [the Uncle] miss[es] blogging from now until Christmas, you [the Uncle] owe[s] me [Mr Mentala] a beer.

So - Uncle Sammy managed to blog on less than half of the days measured. That's pretty weak - weaker than I expected, actually. Should he be officially renamed Uncle Sucky, to indicate that he is the suckiest blogger that ever sucked? Or should he be garrotted? Or should he be forgiven once he forks over the beer? Vote now!

Item! Only two days left of the KOACH KARTER K-MAS KONTEST! If you don't enter, someone else will win. Do you want that? Surely not.

Christmas with Mephisto!

He is red, therefore he is Santa. It is Science.

Merry Whatever, impudent fools!

The Year of Watching DVDs, Part 35: Probably the Second to Last One

I watched the entire IMDb top 250 list and now I'm watching everything else. All reviews so far.

******

What I've seen recently, listed in order of descending goodity:



Doubleplusgood
Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)

Very Good
Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982/2007): AKA the "25th Anniversary Edition". Best version yet, I guess.
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989): Greenaway tastiness.

John from Cincinnati (2007) (TV series, 10 episodes): David Milch's post-Deadwood project, similarly cancelled - presumably because it was good. HBO hates Good nowadays. Fine actors, excellent dialogue, interesting storyline.

******

Good Plus
Gosford Park (2001) (repeat)
Thank You For Smoking (2005)

Good
30 Rock, Season 1 (2006) (TV series, 21 episodes)
Dexter, Season 2 (TV series, 12 episodes)
Hemsöborna (1966) (TV series, 3 episodes): Largely faithful but slightly sanitized adaptation of the classic Strindberg book.
Lonesome Jim (2005)
Lord of Illusions (1995)
Mad Love (1935)

A Scanner Darkly (2006): Definitely the most faithful film adaptation of a Philip K Dick story. (I dissed a bunch of the others in Part 30.) Here's something amazing (in a bad way): The theatrical trailer (included on the DVD) doesn't even mention drugs. Apparently, they tried to sell this movie as something entirely different than what it is.
Vanilla Sky (2001) (repeat): What we learn: Never fuck a girl more than three times in one sitting. Because if you do, you're legally married. See also.

******


Strong Okay
Corpse Bride (2005): Nice to look at and listen to, but the story is weak.
Road to Perdition (2002): Changing the name of historical person John Looney to "John Rooney" (and Michael O'Sullivan to Michael Sullivan, for that matter) seems typically Hollywood. And the comic it's based has stuff artwork. STIFF I tell you! That darn Piers Rayner. I remember liking him okay when he was on Hellblazer, though.

The Secret Of Nimh (1982) (repeat): The book this is based on was one of my favorites when I was a child (Should I reread it? Or will it only disappoint?) and I also liked the film a lot, even though it excises most of my favorite parts from the novel and adds some magical claptrap. When I was a kid I assumed that Jeremy the Crow wanted to f**k Mrs Brisby and I still think there might be some attraction between them, but their love is of course impossible. MILF alert: Mrs Brisby appears entirely nude in one scene!

Okay
Cannibal! The Musical AKA Alferd Packer: The Musical (1996): The Parker/Stone thingie. A bit disappointing, but the snowman number is great:

Dinosaurs, Season 1 (1991) (TV series, 5 episodes) (repeat)

God, I'm getting SO bored with writing these stupid "reviews". I'll be glad when the year is over.

The Christmas Monkey

Christmas Monkey says: Merry Christmas SUPERBLOG!! fans!

I'm somewhat happy I remembered to blog some about x-mas and I'm so merry because that's the kind of person I am. From all of us to some of you or perhaps all of you ----->

Selamat Hari Natal dan Tahun Baru !!!!!!

Oh Noes The Blinking Lights!

Does it blink for you? Does it? Are you feeling the blink? It is a form of magic and also science. Now for the Statistics!

Countdown to FUN: 12 days left! Click the label below to find out more.

Xoach Xarter Xontest: 8 days left! Have you entered yet? Do enter. And win, win!

Beergate Update: 11 beers owed me by my lowlife scum blogging partner so far. Perhaps he will buckle under this enormous economic burden, and I'll be forced to buy him out and run SUPERBLOG!! like a tyrant god. Perhaps.

Xmas Xontest!

Xmas is xreeping up on us, so it is time for SUPERBLOG!!'s annual Holiday Contest! Win! Win! Win a DVD-R that may or may not contain a scratched, heavily pixelated and partly unwatchable copy of the fantastic movie "Coach Carter", reviewed here. It's illegal to burn copyrighted motion pictures onto DVDs, so no, it probably doesn't contain that movie.

But there is a DVD, and the DVD will be personalized to the winner in some way. Maybe we'll write "Congratulations, Dieter!" on it, if Dieter is the name of the winner. Or maybe not. Maybe we'll write a recipe for chicken soup on it ["1 chicken, Some liquid, Prepare somehow"].

All you need to do to enter this wonderful contest is send an email to superblog2@gmail.com with the subject "I Want Coach Carter Inside Of Me", or something like that. It should contain the words "Coach Carter", at least. Otherwise you can't win. It's impossible!!

Oh, and you have to do this before December, 28 because that's when this contest ends. Please note that the email address you use WILL be put on several shitty spam lists. Ha ha. Just kidding. You will only be contacted by SUPERBLOG!! if you win. Which you probably won't. Win! Win!

p.s. This is a stupid contest, but it's not a joke.

The Year of Watching DVDs, Part 34: Schle Collection + Related

I watched the entire IMDb top 250 list and now I'm watching everything else. All reviews so far.

Hello and welcome to another installment of this insanely popular SUPERBLOG!! feature. This time, it's all about a limited distribution DVD collection I got my hands on, called The Schle Collection. It contains a variety of movies, most of them fairly mediocre (none of them get more than 3 Keatons). But they were still a pleasure to watch! Also, some of the DVDs directly led the way to other movies I wanted to see, which I'll list here, even though they're not part of the Collection proper.

* * * * * * *

Good Plus
Blood Diamond (2006) (repeat): Previously reviewed in Part 17/18.
Kunglig toilette (1986) & Potatishandlaren (1996) (repeat)
Whale Rider (2002): Actress was also in SW3, see bottom of the list.

Good

Blood Work (2002): Eastwood in an oldskool detective story with an 00s sensibility. A tad too many touches of sentimentality and I guess it's pretty implausible, but it's just so NICE. Completely laid back, and most of it takes place in daylight.
Children of Men (2006) (repeat): Previously reviewed in Part 10.
Chocolat (2000) (repeat)
Honogurai mizu no soko kara / Dark Water (2002)
Leende guldbruna ögon (2007) (mini series, 3 episodes)
New Nightmare (1994): Fifty percent Elm Street, fifty percent Scream.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) (repeat)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987): Either the best or the second-best Elm Street.
Ocean's Eleven (2001)
Ocean's Thirteen (2007): Completely ridiculous, but great fun.
This Is England (2006): About a tiny little skinhead. Nicely realized, if surprisingly lightweight.

* * * * * * *

Strong Okay
Babel (2006): I liked it, but I also hated in a little bit. Here are some selections from 1000 thing that i learned watching 'Babel':

30. When a Mexican nanny learns that her charges' mother has been shot, is going into surgery, and may be near death, she will immediately take those children out of the country and render them incommunicado for the next 24 hours, thereby ensuring that (at the very least) she will lose her job.
31. When a tour group of Westerners sees one of their group shot and in life-threatening circumstances, no member of the group will show any regard whatsoever for the well-being of the victim. They will instead leave her to die, citing vague fears about the surroundings and the need to take their medicine.
32. When Morrocan police investigating a shooting encounter persons of interest who try to flee, they will open fire with intent to kill and continue to fire even after the suspects are pinned down, ensuring they will never discover the perpetrator. However, when they eventually get some return fire from a 13-year-old novice shooter, the Morrocan police will cease fire, cower behind cars, and wait for the suspects to surrender.
33. In Morroco, only ambulances can take injured people to hospitals. For some reason, tour buses, police SUVs, and cars will not work.
46) cells phones are just a myth, nobody uses them, actually.
57) don't give marrocans stuff, they WILL sell them
82. When you can't travel 4 hours to a hospital, travel 1 hour to the nearest underdeveloped village and wait there for 10.
92.It's tough to be deprived of hearing, more so than you'd think.

The Hunted (2003)
Wimbledon (2004)

Okay
Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

Beerfest (2006) (repeat): Reviewed in Part 15.
Bullitt (1968): I don't think I get it.
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Coach Carter (2005): I gave it an entire blog post in Part 32!
Cold Mountain (2003)
Dances with Wolves (1990)
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005): Starring Dexter's sister.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981): Pretty much the perfect encapsulation of so many slasher movie clichés. bathing naked in the middle of the night, "I'll be right back", and so on. And you just know that the guy in the wheelchair has to buy it, cos Jason is an equal opportunity killer.
Inspector Morse: The Death of the Self (1992) (TV movie)
Jackass: The Movie (2002)
Lucky Number Slevin (2006): Reasonably entertaining, but annoyingly "clever". The dialogue brings to mind Moonlighting (you know, were everything was said three times). On the plus side, I did learn the word ataraxia.
Ocean's Eleven (1960)
Ocean's Twelve (2004): I dislike Julia Roberts playing herself and all the "coincidences" (Catherine Zeta Jones just happens to be the oops that would be a spoiler).
One Hour Photo (2002)
Prime Suspect 4: Inner Circles (1995) (TV movie)
Secret Window (2004): Slow and less than engaging Stephen King adaptation. It's a little unusual to see an actor of Johnny Depp's caliber do something this bland.
Shall We Dance (2004)
Sweet Home Alabama (2002): Likable romantic comedy. The ending is a foregone conclusion.
Tears of the Sun (2003)

Weak Okay
Firewall (2006)
Gothika (2003): Partly effective thriller that falls apart completely in the last act.

It (1990) (miniseries, 2 episodes): Oh, that fucking clown. Interesting: Image Google for [stephen king it] and you get a suggestion to try [pennywise].

The Passion of the Christ (2004) (repeat): An insane man is brutally tortured for 90 minutes. Is that supposed to be edifying in some way? Competently made, but sick and disgusting. I recommend South Park's "The Passion of the Jew" as a companion piece.

* * * * * * *

Bad
Eight Crazy Nights (2002): Sucky animated feature with Adam Sandler.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003): A very good review.
Friday the 13th (1980): This one too.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985): It's not much of a revenge when it's different people he's harassing, is it? It's good that instead of going the Friday way and just repeating the same plot, they tried for a different approach. It's bad that it's not good.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005): I like the way General Grievous (see picture at the top) looks and moves. That's about it.

Al Gore Created the Internet! And He Can Destroy It As Well!

Sexy, brilliant Nobel Peace Prize winner Albert Arnold Gore never claimed he "invented" the Internet. That's just a lie, invented (!) and perpetuated by ugly, stupid, smelly Republicans. Via the Urban Legends Reference Pages:

The "Al Gore said he 'invented' the Internet" put-downs were misleading, out-of-context distortions of something he said during an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN's "Late Edition" program on 9 March 1999. When asked to describe what distinguished him from his challenger for the Democratic presidential nomination, Senator Bill Bradley of New Jersey, Gore replied (in part):

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.

Clearly, although Gore's phrasing was clumsy (and perhaps self-serving), he was not claiming that he "invented" the Internet (in the sense of having designed or implemented it), but that he was responsible, in an economic and legislative sense, for fostering the development of the technology that we now know as the Internet. To claim that Gore was seriously trying to take credit for the "invention" of the Internet is, frankly, just silly political posturing that arose out of a close presidential campaign. Gore never used the word "invent," and the words "create" and "invent" have distinctly different meanings — the former is used in the sense of "to bring about" or "to bring into existence" while the latter is generally used to signify the first instance of someone's thinking up or implementing an idea. (To those who say the words "create" and "invent" mean exactly the same thing, we have to ask why, then, the media overwhelmingly and consistently cited Gore as having claimed he "invented" the Internet, even though he never used that word, and transcripts of what he actually said were readily available.)

Answer: Because it was all RNC spin.

And as for whether Al Gore did, in fact, take "the initiative in creating the Internet"? Well, yeah:

But as the two people who designed the basic architecture and the core protocols that make the Internet work, we would like to acknowledge VP Gore's contributions as a Congressman, Senator and as Vice President. No other elected official, to our knowledge, has made a greater contribution over a longer period of time.

Remember: They* mocked and tortured Jesus, too!

*The Republicans.

Bush Lied, Chimps Died!!!

Al Gore: America's Sweetheart

Yeah, I know I linked to this image (which I think was done by Tim O'Neil) a couple of weeks ago, but I had to put it up to combat the ill effects of that last post.

Other SUPERBLOG!! posts you should have read but maybe didn't:

The Nobel Prize in Literature 2005

The Academy Awards are for the Rich and the Stupid (also 2005)

CCCP

Kong of King

I'm watching "the King of Kong". It's THRILLING and IRRESISTIBLE! I played Kong once in my life. Made it like to the 10th board. I now realise that I really was a loser on Kong compared to some shitheads. Glad I didn't know that when playing KONG in da 80s..

Here's trailer.

UPDATE!! I've seen the whole movie now ! Everybody should see this one. Posting picture to underline my argument.

Countdown to Fun -19

When I think of all the fun we'll be having come January, I have to laugh.

Now I will bring you some Lankar:

James Kochalka: LIFE HURTS! This is good because it is true.

Evolution of a catchphrase. This is good because it is about the guy who got tased.

Teh Shatner Show. This is a book and an expedition. I mean, exhibition.

Beergate Update: 7

Spider-Bear, Fetch!

Jesus, this is getting weird. When was the last time we had a REAL blog entry? Is this a nonsense blog? No! It is a No-Nonsense Blog!

Wait, why did I provide that link? Shouldn't we be getting paid for that? Related: No Nonsense Self-Defense, No Nonsense AC/DC Webzine, The NoNonsense Man. Pay me! Pay me plz! I need money so I can quit my job and drink beer all day long and get all fat and ugly.

The alphabet

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzåäö

That was the order of the Swedish alphabet.

The order of the English alphabet is: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

Down below is a letter from the alphabet!

Now I will eat lunch.

A Sextet of Ale

Hello. Beergate Update: Sambo Owe Me 6 Beer Now. Goodbye.

Countdown to FUNal Crisis -22

OMG ONLEY TWENTY-TWO DAYOS. Then the fun starts. Fire pits of Hell 4 sure! Phyre Pitts. (If you feel left out in the cold: Plz C previous posts on this subject by clicking somewhere. Me 2 lazy 2 even link! OMG im such a REBL)

I walked in the rain today.

I like that this blog is about anything. I like that it's just as much noise as signal. Will that end when the FUN begins, on January 1st, 2008? Will SUPERBLOG!! suddenly turn all professional and stuff? And maybe even get a much gooder URL that we can put on t-shirts and stuff, that you can buy with money, that will be used to line our coffins when we die? Well... you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?

Countdown to FUN -23

A little over three weeks from now, FUN will commence.

Petter & His Four Goats #4: Binge Eating

It only ate butter and bread.

(See how it rhymes now? This is really taking off!)