Fan Mail: The Weiner Revealed

This image was sent in by Coach Carter Contest Weiner Mr Moko, who practically begged SUPERBLOG!! to publish it. And SUPERBLOG!! is so accommodating it nauseates itself.

Weiner photo © 2008 Mocko.

We Have A Weiner!

The proud winner of the Xoaxh Xarter Xmax Xontext is a man/boy who called himself "Mookster the Mook" in his correspondence. Longtime SUPERBLOG!! readers may recognize him as a longtime SUPERBLOG!! reader. As promised, Mook, or, as he's more often known, "the Chap", will be sent a personalized DVD containing the movie Coach Carter, or, if that turns out to be illegal, something else entirely.

The Chap was kind enough to participate in a mini-interview, part of which I publish here now. (Please note: There were originally 19 questions and answers. Some of the answers reproduced here have been edited for space, others have been pointlessly changed. For instance, his actual answer to the last question was "fish".)

Mini-Interview with the Weiner

b) How does it feel to win? Answer in 1 word or less.
The Chap: Supploy!

c) What are you going to do with the prize? Answer in 25 words or less.
TC: I'll put it on display in the living room for my whole family to see! And then I will watch the movie. I think I'll like it!

i) How often, if ever, do you read SUPERBLOG!!?
TC: Several times a day! It is a good friend.

j) How, if possible, could SUPERBLOG!! be improved to suit YOUR needs?
TC: Well, I can't STAND the thought of there being no more reviews of movies. That would destroy me.

s) What animal would you like to read LESS about on SUPERBLOG!!?
TC: Tiger!

Congratulations, Chapman! May your Prize bring you a lifetime of joy.

Xmas Xontest!

Xmas is xreeping up on us, so it is time for SUPERBLOG!!'s annual Holiday Contest! Win! Win! Win a DVD-R that may or may not contain a scratched, heavily pixelated and partly unwatchable copy of the fantastic movie "Coach Carter", reviewed here. It's illegal to burn copyrighted motion pictures onto DVDs, so no, it probably doesn't contain that movie.

But there is a DVD, and the DVD will be personalized to the winner in some way. Maybe we'll write "Congratulations, Dieter!" on it, if Dieter is the name of the winner. Or maybe not. Maybe we'll write a recipe for chicken soup on it ["1 chicken, Some liquid, Prepare somehow"].

All you need to do to enter this wonderful contest is send an email to superblog2@gmail.com with the subject "I Want Coach Carter Inside Of Me", or something like that. It should contain the words "Coach Carter", at least. Otherwise you can't win. It's impossible!!

Oh, and you have to do this before December, 28 because that's when this contest ends. Please note that the email address you use WILL be put on several shitty spam lists. Ha ha. Just kidding. You will only be contacted by SUPERBLOG!! if you win. Which you probably won't. Win! Win!

p.s. This is a stupid contest, but it's not a joke.

Me Win Contest 4 Sure Now!

An individual called Dave, who has never heard of me, nor I of him, started a contest called The Dr Oracle Contest. He provided a drawn image and asked people to fill the drawing with words that contain meaning. And he promised everyone who participated and won a free stereo system. So the above image is my entry, which will surely win, unless it doesn't, in which case it will lose. Then I'll owe him a stereo system.

So. How did I create this awesome masterpiece? Well, it actually wasn't as impossibly difficult as it might seem at a first and second and third glance. You see, I didn't do this by hand but rather used a computer program I've recently discovered called Adobe Photoshoppe. It is a computer program for creating graphical madness. And I used it. By clicking on buttons and such.

I know most of SUPERBLOG!!'s readers are unfamiliar with comical books so I'll explain what you need to know to understand EVERYTHING. First, there are two super-heroes in this picture. The one on the left is called Guy Gardener (Great Lantern) and the one on the right (standing right next to the guy on the left) is Dr Oracle. They are good friends, but sometimes something happens and they are lesser friends than before, back when they were friends. You can look it up on Wikipedia.

There are tons of symbolism in this picture. For instance, I carved a dick into Mr/Mrs Oracle's head to indicate that he is something of a dickhead. You see how that works? It's a play on words. AND I drew a line in pink or purple at the bottom as a symbol of love and mutual respect. Also, some of the words in the speech bubbles (or "balloons") are in a foreign language or two. Here is the dialogue translated into The Queen's American:

"Good day, Dr Oracle. How are you feeling 2day?"
"I'm fine, Guy. How are you yourself? Get off my fucking back or I'll cutya!!!!!(!)!!"

Creepiness Week, Part YEAH