Thursday, January 05, 2006

Drink, Fuckers!

Lick it, Pussy!

Among my many New Year's resolutions was to start drinking alone, something I've rarely done before. So I'm having a glass of wine as I type this. Well, that's not strictly true - I'm actually drinking it straight out of the bottle, because that means less dishes, and nobody can see me do it anyway. Uh, except the fuckers in the house right across the street. But I don't know who they are so I don't care.

This is ALL TRUE. A lot of people seem to think most of the stuff they read on SUPERBLOG!! is bullshit, but almost everything we write is true. After a fashion. I'll admit we sometimes exaggerate for effect.

Another true fact: four teenage girls with no place to drink wanted to come to my apartment on New Year's Eve but I turned them down, because they were surely underage and I am a moral and upstanding citizen. And instead I spent most of the night watching DVDs with one of SUPERBLOG!!'s worst enemies. I can't tell you how many times I've been haunted by that decision. I'll probably cry all the way to my (early) grave.

Unless I start drinking more, of course. Everything feels good when you're drunk.

Yet another true fact: my co-blogger Unky Sammy did a very BAD thing during his recent visit to my palace. But he also did a GOOD thing, in that he gave me a DVD of the epic masterpiece Hells Angels on Wheels, which I watched five times before I grew bored of it and gave it to a homeless man. Such is life: both good and bad.

That is all. Return to your work stations.


Sara said...


Do you undress infront of a window so your neighbors can see everything? Just wondering.

Goo said...

you have windows?? wow! i always pictured you living in that cave with the fraggles and doozers.

you also have laws against drinking and sexing up minors?? i thought you guys encouraged that stuff over there in swedeland.

what's the drinking age out of curiousity? i'm learning so much as it is, may as well top it off with another factoid.

Matthew said...

That's a pretty bad-ass movie. Are you sure you're bad-assed enough to really enjoy all its bad-ass nuances?

Infinigeist said...

That is ONE lukcy homeless guy fo sho!


Koala Mentala said...

Sara: Indeed I do. If they are embarrassed by my awesome radiance, they should avert their eyes.

Goo: The legal drinking age is 18, but if you're an attractive chick you are allowed - in fact, encouraged - to start earlier.

Matthew: I fear that I may not be bad-assed enough to appreciate all the nuances, but what I get out of it is enough for my current purposes.

Infinigeist: What kind of stupid name is that, Pat?

Smart Mouth said...

Very bad things indeed. I feel so powerful... sitting on my stash of secrets until the need for blackmail arises.


Uncle Sammy said...

But was it true what Koala wrote or was it not... Anything is possible at SUPERBLOG!! Some things are for real and other things are.....almost unreal.

Patrick said...

I will fuckin kill everyone!!!!!