Thursday, December 29, 2005

Koala Writes to Santa Claus


Oops, I forgot to post my interesting exchange a few weeks back with Santa Claus of Canada and his helpers:

Dear Canadian Santa,

I am a boy who lives in Sweden. I have a small blog called SUPERBLOG!! which is a blog I write, but few friends. I have some online friends but not many offline fiends. Last year I didn't get ANY presents. I was wondering, will I get any THIS year (2005)? I know you are not the Santa for us in Sweden but only for all children in Canada? But perhaps you could talk to Swedish Santa, and ask him if you see him? It was nice talking to you even if you don't write back but I hope you write back? Koala is not my real name but my nickname. Merry christmas!!!

Koala Mentala


Dear Friend:

Hi, my name is Jimmy and I am one of the elves who help Santa with all of the mail that he receives during this busy time of year.
But no matter how busy he gets at the North Pole, I know Santa takes time to read all of his letters! You can expect to get an answer from Santa within the next few days.
Happy Holidays - and thank you for writing to Santa.



Hello Koala Mentala,

How wonderful that you took the time to write to me here at the North Pole. I love to read every message I get!
Christmas is my favourite time of year. Today I was on cooking duty, helping Mrs. Claus and the kitchen elves make the most wonderful snacks you've ever seen. It was my job to put the red and green cherries on all the Christmas tree cookies. We sang and laughed the whole afternoon. I bet you like helping in the kitchen too!
Well, I had better brush my teeth and get to bed. I want to be well rested for the big day. Thank you for writing to me, and have a wonderful Christmas.

Love, Santa


Dear Satan,
I am VERY unhappie with the lettter I got back from you!! I took th time to right to you IN PERSON and you send me a fuckin FORM LETTER. Some BULLSH*T about putting cookies in Mrs Claus' cherry or whatever. I didnt beleive a WORD of it! I dont beleive in ANYTHING anymore.

koala mentala


Hello koala mentala,

Did you know that every morning when you wake up, Christmas is one day closer?
Christmas is such an exciting time of year, and getting e-mails from children is one of the best parts! The elves and reindeer are having so much fun getting everything ready for the big day.
Some elves are decorating the Christmas tree and some elves are loading the sleigh. They sing and laugh the whole time, and play little jokes on each other.
The reindeer help carry the toys to Santa's bag by hanging them from their antlers. Some of the bigger reindeer can carry more than 10 toys at a time!
Well, I had better get back to work. I hope your Christmas is a magical one that you
will remember for years to come.

Love, Santa


Sara said...

I love how you told Canadian Santa that Koala is your nickname. Like he doesn't already know. He's SANTA CLAUS for cryin' out loud. He KNOWS EVERYTYHING!
He probably even knows about the time I snorted coke off that hookers ass.


zenmonki said...

He probably even knows about the time I snorted coke off that hookers ass.

Wait, is that supposed to mean it's a bad thing to do? Shit!

No wonder I didn't get that thing I really really really wanted. Damn puritanical Santa.

The Stalker said...

Merry xmas fraggle and uncle fanny and happy new year to

Sara said...

It was bad because I "forgot" to pay her.

Koala Mentala said...

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP

zenmonki said...

It could have been worse Sara, you could have set her ass on fire too.

Smart Mouth said...

Not surprisingly, I'm with Koala.

And for once, its not just because I have a massive stranger-crush on him...

zenmonki said...

Banned people really don't care about the opinions of Koala's sycophants.


So there.

Åñèè§å said...

LOL that was realll kicks reading LOL great post man LOL

Mr. John Steed said...

Yes, I concede. Great.