No shitfacedness for Superblog!! Uncle Sammy dropped out early on, whereas I remained undecided a bit longer. Ultimately, though, I opted to stay in, drinking coffee and reading comics (and, just now, watching the conclusion of the rather Office-inspired but surprisingly accomplished Swedish TV show Ulveson & Herngren).
Loyal Superblog!! readers might be forgiven for questioning our decision. I can virtually hear you gasping out loud: "But... why would they do such a thing? Are these Superblog!! people not quite as hard-drinking as we have been led to believe?!"
Well, as you know, Sammy is ancient and incredibly decrepit (and hideous to look at), so I guess he's got an excuse for staying in. Me, I'm still young and gorgeous, so I probably have to bear the brunt of your ire. In my defense, I will say that I feel a bit tired and weak and may die any minute.
Anyway, who are you to judge me? Fuck off.
P.S. The photo is of some of my teeth. D.S.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Weekend of Zero Guzzling
Photo #24: Horse of Course
Hello all, I took this photo to prove that I live where the not so wild horses roam. Mission accomplished. I've got to head back to the game now. Football, Sweden-Malta, and Sweden leads by 4-0. Not a very exciting game but it's still football. (soccer!!!) Uh... Yes. Sometimes we slaughter our little Swedish horses and put them on our sandwiches after some slicing and dicing. Good stuff! More about the horse eating business here.
There is a ferocious ongoing debate in the U.S. over the right or wrong of hippophagy (or making a meal out of Ol’ Lightnin’). But the reality is that people have been eating horse meat for as long as people and horses have shared the same lands, and most countries around the globe would no more consider banning horse meat for human consumption than they’d outlaw onions.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Porn is the Answer!
How to get dough for bar hopping is the question and porn is the answer!! I mean, we have whined a lot about how the revenues of Superblog!! never cover our expenses and the solution just hit me in the forehead. ICANN is about to release a new super domain. The .xxx porn domain! We'll just apply for www.superblog.xxx and in no time we'll have an endless supply of suckers feeding our Cayman bank account. Sweet!! Koala and Sammy, the pornographers!
But don't you worry regular visitor, Superblog!! as you have come to know it will remain a site for the whole family.
It's official—the Web soon will have its own red-light district. This week, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers approved a plan that will allow pornographic Web sites to use URLs that end with ".xxx."
To Drink, or Not to Drink
To drink, or not to drink: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by guzzling drown them? To tank up: to booze;
No more; and by tank up to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To lush, to guzzle;
To guzzle: perchance to puke: ay, there's the rub;
For in drunkenness what blog entries may come
When we have shuffled off this sober veil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
Should Superblog!! get shitfaced tomorrow? Vote now!
Photo #23: The Squirrel from Hell
Squirrels are per definition evil which was proven a long time ago here at Superblog!! Hmmm..I guess this one is almost evil enough to qualify for Superblog!!'s new exciting feature so maybe it will show up there too. The squirrel from hell stands on my porch planning mayhem and destruction. I haven't named it yet but I'm thinking that something like Dubya or Noam might be a good choice.
UPDATE: There' one squirrel that will be left out from my extermination scheme. Eventually.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Superblog!! Enemies, Part 1: The Man Who Stole Ghost World
When you're as cool and fearless as Superblog!!, naturally you make a lot of enemies. Thus: I hereby inaugur a new Superblog!! feature, Superblog!! Enemies, where we'll discuss people who have done us wrong in one way or another. The first one out is Rudolph the Fucknosed Fuckface.
Once I attended a party in the building where Rudolph lived at the time. The party was pretty boring, because I only knew a couple of people there, and them I didn't really like. And the rest struck me as not worth getting to know. So I was just sitting there, drinking, trying to avoid looking people in the eyes, discreetly scrawling great big FUCK YOUs in the host's guestbook. (It's one of my hobbies.)
Around midnight I left the site of the festivities and walked around in the building. Somehow I stumbled across Rudolph's apartment. I rang the doorbell, but the fat fuck wasn't in, so I decided to write him a note. Being drunk, and therefore HILARIOUS, I wrote something along the lines of "We came by to fuck you but you weren't in. Therefore you are gay." and signed it "Tiffany & Amber". This was a reference to a similar scene in Ghost World (both the comic by Dan Clowes and the movie adaptation). But it later turned out that Rudolph (the stupid moron!) didn't get the reference, because he wasn't familiar with either one. So I had to lend him my copy of the comic and the DVD. And you know what? Now it's been SIXTEEN YEARS and he still hasn't returned them. (No, it was just last year, but it feels longer.)
Anyway. I've given up hope of ever getting my stuff back. Now I just want someone reading this to kill Rudolph. If you're a professional hitman, or perhaps an ambitious amateur operating in the vicinity of Linköping, Sweden, please email a cost estimate to superblog2@hotmail.com. Serious offers only.
Photo #22: Josivaldo na Mira de Naza !!!
Finally on Superblog!! Brazilian Magazines! I never had the chance to buy any of these because the photograph was taken from a moving van. Too bad. I really would have liked to read about orgasmo do seu jeito. Luckily, I do a lot of research while blogging so I just found out that all of us can read about it at Ouse.
Superblog!! Proud providor of links to orgasmo do seu jeito.
When the Sith Hits the Fan
Sith!! Fuck!! Koala already did it! As a matter of fact that one was about episode II.. But you know, I'm pretty much seduced by the dark side so I will quote a few lines from Mark Steyn's review of episode III where Mr Steyn continues in Koala's footsteps about the shitty dialogue.
When Senator-Queen Padmé (Natalie Portman) reveals that she’s pregnant, her secret husband Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) reacts with an eerie glassy-eyed expression as if he’s hypnotised himself trying to remember the next line. Eventually, Lucas prompts him and he utters the words, ‘I’ll have the club sandwich.’ No, wait. That’s just what it sounds like. He actually says: ‘You’re so ...beautiful.’
‘It’s only because I’m so in love,’ says Padmé tonelessly, like a spy giving the reply password.
‘No,’ says Anakin. ‘I’m so in love. With you,’ he adds helpfully, just in case Padmé figures it’s the hot-looking Wookie strolling by in the background.
Okie dokie...that sums up the quality of the dialogue in the movie. Since Marky Mark is sort of a political columnist he also writes some stuff about the two seemingly similar über leaders Darth and Dubya.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
KoalaCam: Multiple Homers
Hey, Sammy's not the only one who can post stupid photos and call it blogging! This particular pic holds a lot of significance for me because it features a bunch of people dressed as Homer Simpson, who was sort of my hero for many years (before he betrayed me).
I still remember exactly where I was when I took this photo - pretty much where I sit now. It was an August afternoon in 2004. I was watching an old episode of L.A. Law on TV4 for some stupid reason and suddenly I went, What the fuck?! Look at all the Homers!! (except in Swedish), and I knew I had to take a picture. Actually I took several photos, but I liked this one the best, and now I post it for you to look at.
If you like it, send money.
Photo #21: Man in Black
Today's photo is from ehh.. 1990? I drank so much those years so it's hard to tell. Anyway, the camera I used wasn't the best but that didn't stop me from taking timeless masterpieces like the above, or this!! Travelling took place by train (Viva Amtrak) and they had a lot of screwdrivers (Viva vodka) in the lounge car. I was in the US the year before too and that trip paid off well because I got some vouchers ($400) from American Airlines after the plane I was on had to make some kind of emergency landing in Goose Bay. We were stuck there for 12 hours and they stopped serving booze .. Assholes. But in the end that engine failure made it possible for me to go back. For me everything works out because I am loved by both Satan and God.