Sunday, February 19, 2006

Me in 10 Years



Or maybe 20. I've never been good with numbers. But I promise you that before the world ends, I will do everything in my power to become as much as Leland as I can. I'm already laughing on the outside while crying inside. And the hair is coming along nicely. Yeah, I think together we can pull this off, SUPERBLOG!! readers! I shall be Leland!



SUPERBLOG!! Science Question of the Week! Featuring A Snail!



If you blow your nose while eating a carrot, your snot will emerge orange. True or false? The answer, which SUPERBLOG!! came across accidentally, may surprise you. Join us next week for the answer! Or better yet, have another drink and forget all about it!

24 comments:

spidercrazy said...

Leland Palmer... oh well, you could have chosen worse. Good luck.
This is me in 10 years.

Åñèè§å said...

um false

The Stalker said...

Is it true?

Matthew said...

I say false.

Koala Mentala said...

There will be no updates of SUPERBLOG!! until somebody guesses the hideous truth.

Smart Mouth said...

True. Without a doubt.

Goo said...

um, you updated your sidebar. i am extremely observant. you must have a lot of time on your hands.

and as for the orange snot question... heh. that is obsurd. challenge us with a real question.

none - ya said...

What kind of a silly question is that? I'm gonna go with false unless you happen to push the carrot up through your nose cavity. That's fucking disgusting.

Smart Mouth said...

goo, the sidebar has been updated for a few days now.

i liked my quasi-incognito status. now it's gone and everyone knows i'm just some hack poet wannabe. damn supperbloog??

Koala Mentala said...

I have a lot of free time because I don't have any friends.

Cindy-Lou said...

I've already forgotten about it.

Sara said...

I've sneezed while eating carrots before and my snot was bloody. But that might be from my 10,000 dollar a day heroin problem.

katiedid said...

It's a trick question: no one actually eats carrots. You just wait until the carrots get all old and shiveled, and then photograph them because there's nothing better to be doing.

Afe said...

That's not a snail, that's a slug in disguise. He's on his way to try some freaky snail sex.

Smart Mouth said...

I am so bored I could cry. Please please PLEASE tell us the answer.

Koala Mentala said...

Goddamn fans. You're supposed to say "We are your friends, Koala!" I destroy you now.

And the answer is that this isn't a black or white question, and therefore impossible to answer with a simple True or False. There may be orange traces in your snot, yes. Depending. So I guess Katie was right in that it was a trick question, but then again Mack-N-z was right in that the question was silly. Actually, everybody is right in some way. Hitler was right about some stuff, for instance that Germany's infrastructure at the time was abysmal. But that doesn't mean that he was right about invading Poland or gassing the Kurds. Do you see how confused these fucking things get when you really delve into them? I hope you're happy now. Today at work, I inspired people. Really.

Possibly this is the number one benefit of having a blog like SUPERBLOG!!: it's a way to contain the madness and act all adult and professional in the real world.

I may be the kind of guy who snaps one day and shoots a bunch of people from atop a tall building.

But I'll aim for their knees.

What in the name of our holy savior Michael Keaton am I... even... Who here fears for my sanity? Can I have a show of hands?

Smart Mouth said...

Here You Go, Koala.

zenmonki said...

Me (raises hand). Over here.

katiedid said...

Fearing for your sanity would imply that we thought you had it in the first place, Koala.

Koala Mentala said...

Are you implying I was born with serious mental problems, rather than acquiring them from years of substance abuse during my teens? If so, you win a car. A cheese car.

Thanx 4 the hands, kids. This may be a big joke to you people, but some of us attempt suicide every single day. And we consistently fuck it up. What's up with that?

zenmonki said...

Our levels of concern are directly related to the level of genuine information we get about you. Most of us don't really know you very well. I'm available anytime you want to talk Koala.

BTW: I never answered the question because I think you are a sneaky bastard and it was probably a trick question.

Uncle Sammy said...

Don't worry about Koala. All bases are covered.

Smart Mouth said...

Intelligence and mental illness. Bastard twins. Those fuckers go hand in hand. Sorry Koala. I think. Unless you're full of it, in which case I'm just playing myself. But then, maybe implying that you're full of it isn't cool, especially if you're really feeling blue. In that case, lets try some positive self talk. And some breathing exercises. Lets talk about all the people you've touched. Yeah. Touching. Touching will bring people back from the brink of suicidality. And insanity. I think maybe IIII need help. I can't seem to stop typing. I hope you're ok. And well. Wonderful, in fact.

Koala Mentala said...

Of course I'm full of it. Of course I'm serious. I am large, I contain multitudes. Yes, under the mask of a suicidal loner we often find a real suicidal loner. But that may be yet another mask.

I feel trapped. I am a star. I would kill myself. Let's celebrate being alive and being here together with a smile.

Now: Let's squeeze all our anxiety and depression into a little ball and hide it deep in our hearts, where none may reach it. When next we meet, everything will be different. Better? Worse? Who can say?

How precious this moment truly is, for it will turn to dust before you finish this sentence.