I'm Starting a Circus of Crime

"The CLOWN does not take that LIGHTLY!"

Harry Gaylord and the Goblet of Cum

The reason you haven't heard from SUPERBLOG!! in the last ten days or so is that we have been writing a series of young-adult fantasy novels, the first one of which is to be published later this Summer. There will probably be a total of six or seven books. These will chronicle the adventures of the adolescent wizard Harry Gaylord, a student at Suxdix School of Murder & Misogyny, in particular his struggles against the evil wizard Lord Jew. These books are literally writing themselves and we are already hard at work on the fifth one, Harry Gaylord and the Order of the Führer.

No no no no no. As usual, it is all a bunch of stupid bullshit.

Stupid Blog! Be More Funny!!

And if you can't manage that, shitty SUPERBLOG!!, at least try to be less actively UNfunny. 

You fucking blog, you. I should sell you to the Chinese. To the filthy Chinese.

Gee Fraza!

SUPERBLOG!! supports the Free Gaza Movement! Though not with money, of course. Just with enough blog posts to counteract occasional reactionary nonsense.

Actually, the Official Koala Position on the Arab-Israeli conflict is probably closest to "A pox on both their houses", but in the Ship to Gaza incident, it seems pretty obvious that Israel acted unethically and unlawfully. How anyone can make excuses for them in this instance is beyond me.

We Con the World

They con the world!

Films in Order from Good to Bad, April-May 2010

Excellent! Another completely meaningless list of meaninglessness! I love SUPERBLOG!! This time (for a change), I will rate each motion picture on the Michael Keaton Scale, ranging from 5 Keatons (= "Keatonastic! :-)") to 1 lonely Keaton (= "Keatonethic! :-("). I will also use cutting-edge Internet Hyperlink technology to link to AV Club reviews, when relevant. When not relevant, I will not link to anything. That is my promise to you, the reading public.


Ha! Nothing!


Eyes Wide Shut (1999) (R)
Out of the Past (1947)
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007) (R)


Iron Man 2 (2010)
Iron Man (2008) (R)
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009)
Crazy Heart (2009)
Bob Roberts (1992) (R)
Animal Farm (1954)
Shutter Island (2010)
Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Point Blank (1967) (R)
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)
Hamlet 2 (2008)
Wiseguy (1996)
Europa (1991)
The Road (2009)


The Girlfriend Experience (2009)
Valhalla (1986)
Shorts (2009)
Prime Cut (1972)
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1998)
Angel of Death (2009)
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)
Avatar (2009)
Alice in Wonderland (2010)


Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber (2005)

I hope you enjoyed scrolling through this meaningless list of meaninglessness and if for some reason you didn't I hope you die soon. No. Just kidding. I hope you never die, ever.

Bernard Calsong (1803-1845)

If Bernard Calsong hadn't created underwear back in the 1830s, it's not entirely unlikely that we all would be convered from head to toe in piss and shit at this point. Please tell your children about this great inventor and read more on Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undergarment
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Calsong_(inventor)

And if you enjoy Wikipedia and inventions like underwear, please consider making a donation.

SPOILER: It is piss

Not Lost, Lost is good. Jack sure likes golden showers. That is his one character flaw. Therefore he had to leave the island for a while. But then he had to go back! But first he had to take a shower, because he STANK. That is how Lost (SPOILERS) ended.

What? When did he take the shower? I don't understand.

Films in Order from Good to Bad, February-March 2010

Something like this, maybe not exactly:


2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) (R)
There Will Be Blood (2007) (R)


Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) (R)
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Rachel Getting Married (2008) (R)
Moon (2009) (R)
An Education (2009)
Raise the Red Lantern (1991)


Tape (2001)
The Spanish Prisoner (1997)
The Informant! (2009)
Sita Sings the Blues (2008)
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010)
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) (R)


Women in Trouble (2009)
Monsters vs Aliens (2009)
Creepshow 2 (1987)
The Box (2009)


2012 (2009)
The Descent: Part 2 (2009)

Ugo Boncompagni

Happy 448th (or whatever) anniversary of when Ugo was turned into a Pope by God. It was today, on the 14th of May (That rhymes!). They called him the Pop Pope because he listened to popular music while healing the sick. Of course, the music that was popular back in Ugo's day was utter SHIT and wouldn't be very popular today if people were allowed to hear it. Also, while healing the sick may sound like a nice thing to do, historians have been able to prove that it was Ugo himself who gave them the disease in the first place.

Ugo: Disease-spreading popular healer POP pope.