Showing posts with label John Kerry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Kerry. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Big Bad Waffles



Today is Big Waffle Day here in Sweden (there's a Small Waffle Day in November, I think*). Since probably hundreds of years ago, we celebrate Waffle Day by eating waffles. Why? Well, Swedish Wikipedia says that it's based on a misunderstanding.

Internationally, March 25 is "Lady Day", commemorating the day Virgin Mary got knocked up by "God". However, the Swedish "vårfrudagen" (the Day of Our Lady) was somehow garbled into "våffeldagen" (the Day of Waffles). I am totally not making this shit up.

Whatever the case may be, I dedicate this SUPERBLOG!! post to war hero John Kerry, who might have been President today if he hadn't been such a waffly waffler. Also, if he'd never set foot on a fucking swift boat.



[*A lie. The rest of the post is true. Or, well, at least it's based on information taken from Wikipedia. And if it's on Wikipedia, it must be true.]



Waffle Image © Huddle House, Kerry image © someone at Pants of Time (?). Used for journalistic purposes.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Don't Tase Me, Bro!



Humor and horror do mix!:

The University of Florida taser incident is an event on September 17, 2007 in which police from the University of Florida forcibly removed twenty-one year old student Andrew Meyer from a forum with Democratic Senator John Kerry.

Some additional info.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Good and Bad Plastic Surgery


What's up with Mary-Kate and Ashley?

About two years ago, the Olsen Twins starting looking prettier. Some attributed the change to maturity, but eagle eyed people noticed their new thinner noses. Their old tips were bulbous, their nostrils flared. The Olsen Twins 2.0, however, have streamlined noses.

This showcase for successful plastic surgery is one of the most revealing and informative websites in the history of mankind. Learn all about celebrities' subtle breast augmentations, liposuction, rhinoplasty, brow Lifts, chin and cheek implants, blepharoplasty (correction of aging eyelids), lip augmentations/reductions, etcetera, etcetera.

Featured celebs include Tyra Banks, Jessica Simpson, Hilary Swank, Heidi Klum, Giselle Giselle Bundchen (or is it Bündchen?), Gabrielle Reece, Charisma Carpenter, and Adriana Lima - and that's just boob jobs! Marvel at the before and after pictures of the noses of Toni Braxton, Nicky Hilton, Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Kelly Rowland. Katie Holmes, Kate Winslet, Kate Hudson, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Gwen Stefani, Elisha Cuthbert, Nicole Richie, Christina Aguilera, Barbara Bush, Ashlee Simpson - and many more!

Perhaps less enlightening (because it's more obvious), but still quite interesting, is the companion site Awful Plastic Surgery, which shows off less convincing breast work, asymmetrical nose jobs, collagen overloads, and so on:

Courtney's most recent enhancement looks like an augmented chest area. It looks like she's gone from a small B cup to a full D which is too large and, most of all, noticeable on her frame. Going simply to the next size up would have been wiser and, best of all, almost imperceptible. But for some girls, porn star boobs seem the only way.

Thrill to the repeated rhinoplasty surgeries of Michelle Pfeiffer and Paris Hilton, and gaze in wonder at Tara Reid's implant scar (apparently displayed when she was shit-faced):

Tara Reid decided to show off her breast implant scars at a recent party. Oddly enough, given her high financial status, she did not get a doctor that puts the implant in through the belly button so that there was no scarring. She got them put in through the nipple. How cheap.

What's Nicole Kidman had done to her face?

Judging from photos, alot.
Rhinoplasty, brow lift, cheek implants, lip collagen, and lots of botox (she always seems to have problems making facial expressions and resorts to these weird gestures using her head).

Another important question: Did John Kerry get botox? And... did George W Bush have a nose job? The answers seem to be yes and yes.

This is part six of Superblog!!'s twentysix-and-a-half part Blog Marathon. All proceeds will be donated to charity.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The Guy Who *Should* Have Been the Democratic Presidential Candidate in 2004



Yes: the Joker.

Hey, with a platform like that, I think he would have had a good chance of defeating Dubya. Kerry's "Vote for me and I'll be nice and sensible" strategy obviously was a misfire. The only problem is, considering the Joker's a murderous madman, surely he's more likely to run for the GOP?

Just kidding!

(But not really.)

(Just kidding!!)