Thursday, May 04, 2006

Selected Memories from Duesseldorf: The Kids Aren't Alright

So we were in this pub, something like the third in sequence. We were trying to establish some kind of rapport with The Kids, but The Kids were boring and stupid and ugly. One of them looked like half of Rob'n'Raz, and he was an asshole. His girlfriend was nicer, but still German, and Germans are pigs. Speaking of pigs, the third and last Kid was a policeman!

"Ein Zwei Polizei!" said my colleague, Uncle S.
"Ahhh!" said the policeman. "Ich bin ein Polizei!!"
Du bist ein Schweinhund, I thought, but I didn't say anything. But slightly later I exclaimed, "Bayern-München!"
"Ahhh!", said der Polizist.
"Düsseldorf ist traurig!", said I.
"Was meinst du?", said The Kids.
"Düsseldorf ist traurig!", I said once more, with a stupid smile on my lips.
"Düsseldorf ist traurig", I said again, shrugging my shoulders. And that's when they stopped paying attention to me.

It was also around that time we realized that trying to speak Random German was a mistake. The rest of the night we spoke Drunken Gibberish, and thus was able to communicate far better with strangers.

I believe the photo above was taken by Uncle S at virtually the same moment this conversation took place! I'm posting it without his permission, as a political statement. Free Tibet!!

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