Somebody Kill Me Plz

Dick

That's all, there's nothing else to say.

I am Ballast

Top ten reasons why I'm ballast:

1. In online conversations, I use "Bah!" a lot, just like Doctor Doom.

2. I'll soon be FOUR years older than I ever expected to be when I was a kid.

3. Everybody knows about Lolcats, but I'm the first person ever to think up a Loljesus project. (Except I'm not.)

4. Whenever I see a pregnant woman, I get a powerful urge to punch her in the stomach, but so far I haven't, which shows character.

5. I may have drunk more Al-Qaidas than anyone in the world. At worst, I ought to be the runner-up.

6. Since creating SUPERBLOG!! five years ago, I have yet to visit a strange city without being approached by sexy girls saying, "I love your posts! Do me! Do me right here!"

Okay, that's ten.

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Footnote: Ballast is Swedish for something. You'll never know what.

Hottest Photo I've Ever Seen

Sluts, booze, and bad craziness. Yeah, this pic is what Swedes call "tre önskningar i en". My favorite is the blonde on the left. Cos she has teh Angst. That's an added bonus, in all walks of life.

Acknowledgment: I didn't paint this picture myself, I found it on the Internet. Thanks, Internet.