Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You All Everybody

Do you - DO YOU - remember me mentioning a certain "Moo Cow"* in a recent SUPERBLOG!! entry? Well, that very same exact Cow has somehow managed to procure some images SPOILING events in upcoming episodes of the popular television series Lost: Island Blues starring Terence "Terry" Stepfather as the mysterious Mister Locke. Since Mr Cow's own blog was recently closed down by the government, Mr Cow has licensed the images to SUPERBLOG!! for publication. (Only one of them is truly great but I don't want to hurt his feelings so I'm posting them all.)

(*Real name: Markus Chapman, just like MY real name is Klaus Machiavelli.)

Cowboy Joe returns in episode 5.12, "The Good, the Bad, plus also Joe"! Wait for the whistle! SPOILER: "Joe" is short for Jacob.

While this may look like some cheap Taiwanese knockoff (or maybe a spoof!), the picture itself claims that the Pocket Jughead is "Official Lost: Island Blues merchandising" and I see no reason to doubt it. The camera doesn't lie! The product may tie in to an as-yet untitled upcoming episode in which Kate can't find a suitable partner and is forced to take matters into her own hands. Apparently James "Sawyer" Ford will lose his SPOILER! penis in a tragic showdown with the Smoke Monster, and Jack Shepherd is far too busy with island business to think about sex (read: impotent).

Sexuality will also be explored in episode 5.8, "Desmond Does Dallas", guest-starring Bryce Dallas Howard.

Charles "Charlie" Bongoloid will guest-star in the sixth season as the ISLAND GHOST. The Island Ghost is a wholly new character, not to be confused with Charlie Guitarist who died in season 3 (SPOILER alert!). The Island Ghost will be Cowboy Joe's greatest enemy in the fight for hearts and minds that Lost: Island Blues will revolve around in its last season. Of course it will lose in the end but it may strike some serious blows in Joe's face. Some serious Joe-blows!!


spidercrazy said...

Locke is your stepfather? Dude, that's so cool. Also, Joe-blows makes me think of Garbage Pail Kids.

Koala Mentala said...

But it was supposed to make you think of Crumbian incest.

Moocko said...

'Tis truly a great time we're all living in (the time of an on-going season of LOST).

Crumb FTW!